Communicate Before Marriage Values Religion Etc-Blinded By Love

You see a lot online or in magazines or on t.v. about how to deal with problems and issues in a relationship or marriage. The sad thing is that most of these problems could easily have been avoided if people would have just taken some time to communicate before marriage values, religion etc. Finding out what you have in common, what you don’t agree on and what you may be able to compromise on before you are married can save a lot of stress and tension after you are married.

Hey, I’m not criticizing anyone, I did the same thing. I ignored very obvious warning signs that my soon to be husband wasn’t really the man for me. I was in love and apparently blind, because I went through with it and we got married. I did get two wonderful, beautiful children out of the marriage so I guess I won’t complain, but many of the hurts and issues we faced could have been avoided if both of us had been more honest.

It become clear fairly early on that we didn’t really have that much in common. We each wanted different things in a marriage. I wanted my best friend and companionship. Someone who I knew always had my back, even when I was wrong or just not very lovable. He wanted someone to cook and clean for him. He didn’t want a partner, we wanted a maid and a call girl. He was very immature and emotionally stunted, that too become pretty clear early on.

If you don’t want your marriage to end up in divorce, take some time to
communicate before marriage values, religion etc. Finding out what your soon to be spouse is really like can be the difference between a wonderful marriage or a nightmare. Here are some basic things the two of you should be on the same page about (or at least be able to find a good compromise on):

1. If religion is something that is very important to you, it might be a good idea to marry someone with similar beliefs. If you have some belief in a higher power but you aren’t too tied to any one organized religion, than it may not be a problem.

2. Do you want to have kids? If so, how many? How do you think they should be raised, should one parent stay home with them or are you both ok with the idea of daycare? If one parent should stay home, which parent? All of this is very important to take into consideration. If you have a great career you love and your soon to be husband has very traditional values and expects you to stay home and raise the kids, how is that going to make you feel?

3. What about money? Is one of you a someone who likes to pinch every penny and the other likes to rack up the credit cards to the limit? If so, how is that going to work? It will be a constant source of stress between the two of you. Also, who handles the money and financial issues, like getting insurance, paying the bills, etc.? Some couples like to do it together, which is best. But others may think that only one should do it. Find out what your partner is thinking.

Communicate before marriage values, religion etc is a good idea and may just save your marriage.

Mending Broken Heart- Sooner Better Than Later

Love can be cruel sometimes as is evident in some relationships. If mending broken hearts seems to be a reoccurring theme in your life then you need to sit back and reevaluate what is happening to cause this vicious cycle to occur in the first place.

No one likes having their heart broken, but they especially don’t like for it to happen repeatedly. The bad part is when someone doesn’t know that it is coming. That makes the pain even worse. When this happens the first step is to look back and see if there were any warning signs.

Sometimes signs are evident to others, but the person that it is happening to is oblivious to what is going on. This might be because they are preoccupied with the situation or they are just trying to ignore it in the hopes that it will go away. Were there any signs that this was going to occur? If so, you have to find out why they occurred in the first place.

Even though losing love is hard it is not the end of the world. Undoubtedly, the one who is hurt will hear this from others, but it is, in fact, the truth. This is a time to be with others and be surrounded with friends and family. This is not the time to hear people bashing your partner, unless it is obviously justified. The key here is to get out of the house. Sitting around just invites in pity and sorrow, which is something that is not going to help at this point.

The sooner that the hurt individual gets back out into the world the easier the recovery time will be. Letting things languish only drags out the pain. They should never try to contact the other person since further rejection will only open up old wounds. If it is meant to be they will see the separation as an eye-opening experience.

After you have had some time to heal then the last step is to sit down and see what you have learned. Were you too needy? Did you rush the relationship and possibly scare them away? Or were they possibly the wrong person for you? If you think about it enough the answer will present itself to you. Have a good friend sit down with you and talk it over. Sometimes a different view can bring things into perspective. Just remember: mending broken hearts is not easy, but it is possible.

It doesn’t matter if you’ve been in a relationship for a while or if it’s brand new, most people will reach a point where they are considering taking their relationship to the next level.  The next level could mean anything from physical intimacy to a walk down the aisle.  No matter what the next level is for you, now is the time to start  evaluating your relationship with your partner.

While it may seem like this would be an easy thing to do it can actually be very difficult.  There are a few reasons why achieving an honest evaluation can be a tough thing for people:

1) If you wait too long to honestly access the quality and strength of your relationship you may already be in too deep to be able to objectively analyze the weak points in your partner and your relationship.

Once you’ve fallen for that person you will see only what you want to see.  Few people will still have the strength to honestly admit that there might be a problem. They will turn a blind eye and pretend that everything is great.

2) During the early days and most of the ‘dating phase’ of a relationship your partner, and you, can be very guarded and careful of what they let the other see.  With some people it’s a deliberate attempt to hide their true colors with other’s it’s a more innocent “putting the best foot forward” type of thing.

Either way this tendency can make an honest evaluation very difficult.

One of the most important things you can do to try to have a secure and fulfilling relationship is to honestly evaluate the strength of your partner and the relationship early on.

It’s also important to take your time.  Too many people ignore the warning signs because they just want to be with someone so badly they are willing to be mistreated just so they don’t have to be alone.

If you really want a strong relationship make sure you are strong first.  If you are happy with you and you have made a full life for yourself filled with people and activities that make you happy, then you won’t be so desperate for a relationship that you  allow yourself to be mistreated.

Honestly evaluating your relationship with your partner is something everyone should do, but few actually do.  The earlier you do it the easier it will be to see things clearly as they really are and not just as you want them to be.  That is the difference between a happy and loving relationship and an unhappy and potentially abusive relationship.

Is your marriage in crisis? Would you know it if it was? Do you recognize the warning signs? A marriage in crisis can sometimes disguise itself as a normal but slightly boring marriage until it’s too late to change it and save it.

You have to pay attention to all the signs of health in your marriage to make sure your partnership is going strong. First, look at how often you have sex. While sex isn’t the whole point of the marriage—it’s much more important than just that—it’s a crucial part of a healthy marriage.

A marriage in crisis is usually pretty easy to spot by looking at your sex lives. Do you have sex infrequently? Is it a big, scheduled deal when you do have sex? Have you stopped having sex spontaneously just when you feel like it?

When sex becomes a scheduled activity, a marriage can certainly recover. In fact, most marriages go through a phase very much like that when a baby is born. Each child makes it more and more difficult to find the time to spend with our partner over a meal or before leaving for work, let alone finding a spare hour to make love.

But a marriage in crisis never breaks out of that pattern. Instead, even when the time is there the partners don’t have spontaneous sex. Usually there’s very little physical affection shown during the day either. People in love and happy to be together tend to hug and kiss different times through the day.

A loving couple will often touch each other just in passing. One will give the other a fast kiss on the cheek or forehead for no reason. Does this still happen in your marriage? Do you ever sneak a quick pinch or pat on the bottom or a sexy look in the middle of the day?

When these things start to disappear, it can be a sign that the marriage is in trouble. The other thing that goes in a very obvious way is common courtesy. When you say “thank you,” “excuse me,” and “please,” throughout your day to strangers more than you say them to your partner, something’s wrong.

We take our partners for granted in this way, and eventually this leads to a sort of coldness between people. There is simply no reason not to be affectionate and thank our partners (and say please) during the course of everyday life.

The good news is that if you’re seeing these warning signs, you can start working right now to correct them. And you don’t have to make a fanfare about it or announce the change. Simply change what you do.

Make a point of giving affection and unexpected kisses. Be very polite again, and say please and thank you, even when it’s just the two of you. Make time for making love. Do these things and your marriage in crisis could soon be back on track and you could be happier than ever.