It is an awful feeling when your relationship ends so how do you deal with a bad break up? You shouldn’t just go on with life and pretend that everything is ok. It’s not healthy to deny what you are feeling and keep those feelings bottled up. It is fine to let yourself feel the hurt, in fact it is necessary for you to move on with your life.

You should handle your feelings in a healthy way. If you are feeling anger, it is not a good idea to go and threaten or hurt your ex because of your anger. There are better ways to handle your feelings.

It will take time to get over your ex and for the feelings of hurt and anger to go away. You will be able to move on faster if you use the time constructively and use it as a learning experience in relationship skills. This will be a much healthier way for you to deal with the bad break up and will also benefit you in future relationships.

Take a few days to feel your pain, but do put a time limit on it. You don’t want to fall into a depression because you can’t get over the hurt and pain that you are feeling. You will feel anger at some point and there are some ways to let that anger out without hurting anyone.

If you are really angry with your ex then take a picture of them and put it on the wall. Buy some marshmallows and use the marshmallows as darts to throw at the picture. Throw the marshmallows as hard as you can and while you throw them yell at your ex and tell him/her exactly what you think and what you are feeling. Let it all out! It might sound silly to throw marshmallows at a picture but it really is a great way to get out your anger and frustrations. You may even find yourself laughing and much happier when you have finished.

If you find yourself laughing after the marshmallow challenge then you know that your troubles aren’t that bad and you will get past them. You will realize that you will survive and that you can handle what you are going through. Breaking up is not the end of the world, but a new beginning. If the relationship has broken up then chances are you just aren’t meant to be together and now you can move on and find the real love of your life.

Don’t rush out and start dating straight away though or you may find yourself in another bad relationship because it is a rebound relationship. Take some time to enjoy life being single and enjoy who you are for yourself and not for someone else. You will be much stronger now that you have used this bad break up as a learning experience and have improved your own self esteem and confidence. Your future relationships will be much stronger and happier.

How Can I Save My Marriage-Dont Put Off What You Can Start Doing Today

“How can I save my marriage?” This question comes up so often with friends talking over coffee, or from a phone call to a best friend that they need to confide in. While things may seem hopeless, the answers could be very obvious. But life sometimes causes us not to see the answers for the problem.

It’s like the old adage: “You can’t see the forest for the trees”. This rings so true for marriage. Many times, we become so wrapped up in problems that we don’t give ourselves the chance to adequately search for the solution. We focus on the wreck instead of the cleanup. Getting over what is going on means being able to shift focus on how to resolve it. If we can focus on it enough to contemplate how much damage it is causing a marriage, then focusing on its resolution should get equal attention.

If there is a problem in a marriage then worrying about it isn’t going to fix it. This is where communication comes in. Focusing on the problem isn’t going to resolve it: neither is fighting over it or hiding resentment or anger. Bringing it all out for both sides to see, and discuss, is what needs to happen. And the sooner this happens, the better.

The best course of action here is to set aside time when both spouses can engage in conversation without distractions: “without distractions” being the key here. If this cannot be accomplished without interruptions or “life” butting in, then this is not the time. This is something that deserves full attention. If it is serious enough that one party feels their marriage is in jeopardy then that should be enough to warrant pushing all other areas to the side.

Once you have quiet, alone time, sit down and one person begins talking. If only one person feels this is an issue then they will start and have ample time to bring out their concerns. Perhaps a time limit could be imposed so that both sides get equal opportunity to address the concern.

How to get an ex back is a fairly common question but one that should be relatively easy to answer. If you were to blame for the breakup then you should apologize. We should always treat others as we would like to be treated but sometimes we can treat our neighbors better than our partners. Having someone special in our lives can mean that we take them for granted and expect them to put up with our black moods, PMS or other human failings.

So say you are sorry and mean it. Don’t just say it to get your ex back but mean it regardless of what the future holds for you. Arrange a meeting with your ex to discuss what went wrong and see if you do have a future together. You should agree some basic ground rules or else you run the risk of it turning into a blame fest.

The first rule is that both of you should be there because you want to be not because you are being emotionally blackmailed. This is particularly true if you have kids together as one partner can often put pressure on the other to stay together for the sake of the children. Believe me, most kids would prefer to have two different families than to witness two people tearing each other apart.

The second rule should be that you are not getting together to have an argument – if either party gets abusive then the meeting is over. You are there to have a discussion about your relationship and see if you would both like to take it forward. It may be helpful to set a time limit for each person to talk about how they are feeling. When they are talking the other person should be listening.

This is a time for you both to express what you like about each other and what parts of your life together could do with a little work. Perhaps you never get to spend time alone together so an idea may be that you have a date night once a week or a fortnight. This is a night where it is just the two of you and all talk of kids, mortgage, debts etc is banned. This would be your time as a couple to try to relight the forces of attraction that brought you together in the first place.

You will probably find that both of you are finding the same issues difficult. You both probably miss spending quality time together and you may both be under financial and emotional pressure. Sometimes life gets in the way and we often expect our partners to become mind readers and be able to see a problem without us saying anything. We don’t tend to make time in our lives to really talk to our spouse. It is never too late to start.

Now when you are asked how to go get an ex back, you will be able to say that communication and quality time together are the keys to lifelong happiness.

The emotional roller coaster of a painful breakup generally affects both parties in similar ways.  The intensity may be different for the person who wanted the breakup than for the ‘dumpee’, but both people will go through the emotional stages of a relationship breakup.

Knowing and recognizing the different steps for what they are can help you move through the process a little easier.  Each stage is necessary so you can heal and be whole and able to find love again some day.  Don’t try to shortcut the steps, just remember that after you’ve gone through each step you will be on the road to feeling better.

There is no time limit for how long each step should take to get through. How long it takes will depend on a lot of things such as how secure you are in  yourself and what type of a support system you have.

Here are the 5 major steps in a relationship breakup:

1) Pain.  This will often hit hard and fast.  At first the pain can be diminished somewhat by a feeling of disbelief but once that passes the pain can seem unbearable.  This is a physical pain.  You might not be able to eat or sleep.  Everything seems like too much effort. You just want to crawl into a corner and be left alone.

2) Denial.  This is the step when you start thinking that it is all a big mistake and surely your ex will realize it very soon and the two of you will be back together.  That can be a dangerous way to think.  It is important that you try to move through this stage as quickly as possible.  Lingering too long in this stage can really make it harder to heal and move on.

3) Anger.  This is when all your fear and hurt turns to anger.  You are outraged that someone who claimed to love you could hurt you so deeply.  This stage is very destructive and hurtful to both parties and if you’re not careful how you handle this stage you migh sabotage any chances you have of getting back together.

It’s also important to make sure you don’t become overly bitter.  If you let that bitterness grow too strong it could follow you into other relationships making it harder to ever having a fulfilling relationship again.

4) Grieving.  At this stage you will mourn your lost relationship.  You will often spend a lot of time reminiscing about all the good times the two of you had shared.  It is very important to keep a close watch on your mental health during this stage.

If you ever feel like ‘ending it all’ make sure you seek help immediately.  It is impossible to believe while going through this but you really will love again, if you allow yourself to.

5) Acceptance.  You will finally reach a point where you realize it’s over.  You are stronger and better able to start thinking more about your future and less about your past. This time can be bittersweet: you’ve realized and dealt with the fact that your relationship is over which is sad, but you’re also excited about new opportunities and convinced you will find love again.

The more you know about the  emotional stages of a relationship breakup and how to deal with them the easier and quicker you can move on from living in the past to a bright new future.  Just make sure you understand that this is all normal and it will get better, just hang in there.