When you have been dumped, there are any number of theories about how to win ex back.  Most of them involve playing head games with your ex.  But, when you mess with her head just to win her back, you are on a shaky foundation for moving forward in the relationship when things are patched up.  This article is the no-games way to win ex back.

When you were going out, she would text you two dozen times a day.  Now your phone is silent.  While you don’t want to overdo it, calling her once a week or so just to “keep in touch” keeps the door open for a reconciliation.

To this end, make sure that you call her on important days like her birthday.  Sending a card or a small gift wouldn’t hurt either when you are trying to win ex back.

Keep in touch by email.  If there is a news story she might enjoy – whether it is about poverty in Africa or a profile of Shane West – send it to her with a nice (short) note.  You can also start a email list where you send out information, jokes, or personal updates to a group of friends and make sure she is on the responder list.

You also have to decide whether you want to want to date other girls during the period when you are trying to win ex back.  If you are serious that you are going to win ex back, you won’t date other girls.  If you are even thinking about getting back together, do not sleep with another woman.  This goes against some dating advice that says you should date around to make your ex jealous.  But playing games like this will not serve you well when you do get back together.

Don’t be jealous when she dates other guys though.  She called it off, remember, so she’s not cheating when she sees men.  You can use the information about what she looks for in a man when you analyze the kind of men she’s dating.

For instance, if she broke things off with you because you had gotten too complacent in the relationship, she may be seeing men who sweep her off her feet.  If you were the beer and football type and she’s now dating artists and poets, you may need to develop a more sensitive side in order to win ex back.

When you analyze and study the woman who broke up with you, you will be able to see what she really needs in a man.  Remember, that now that you are no longer a couple, there are layers being built up between the two of you.  In some ways, this actually makes it easier to see what she needs from a man because your own emotions, feelings, and needs are less at play.  Read into the things she says and the things she doesn’t say.  Look at her actions as well.

Hold your own cards close to your chest.  The power in your relationship has shifted.  When you spill out your deepest emotions to your ex, you give her too much power.  If you tell her that she is the one person who you need in your life, she suddenly can dictate the future.  When you hold your own cards close to your chest, you preserve your own power which is necessary for restoration of the relationship after you win ex back.

During the time when you are broken up, work on yourself.  Make sure you hit the gym regularly so you look good.  Get a hair cut too and even consider a new style.  Also, work on your mind as well as your body.  By spending time on self improvement, you become more attractive to your ex.

The bottom line is that you can try to get your ex back by playing games or you can try to fix the problems that your relationship had.  When you work on the problems, you build a more solid foundation for the future when you have already accomplished win ex back.

Did your boyfriend break up with you?  This is a rough time in your life.  You are probably hurting and want to know what caused your boyfriend break up.

First of all, while you can use this time to look at yourself and where you are in your life, don’t do too much introspection.  The truth behind why your boyfriend break up with you is that he had his own issues.  You know what they say, “it’s not you, it’s me.”

You can spend time trying to get your ex back.  If you are going to go down this route, you need to know the following things:

·    Don’t pester your ex – when your boyfriend break up with you, it meant that you have more limited access to him.  So don’t text him multiple times a day or call him a lot.

·    It’s okay to flirt with other guys in his presence.  It may even make him want you back more.

·    When you do get back together for a “trial date” be cheerful and friendly but don’t pressure him for more than he can handle.

But, if you have a feeling in your gut that the relationship is over when your boyfriend break up with you, then you need to start moving on.

One of the first things you can do after your boyfriend break up is to sit down and write a long letter to him pouring out your heart.  You can talk about the good times and bad.  You can tell him what a jerk he is and call him all sorts of names.  But, don’t mail the letter!  Instead, take a candle out and burn it.  This is one of the best ways to get closure after a boyfriend break up.

The next thing you need to do is do a property exchange.  Give him back the t-shirt that you love to sleep in.  Get the econ textbook you lent him.  If there are things like toothbrushes that are too trivial to exchange, throw them away.  Don’t have anything around that reminds you of him.  If you have gifts that he gave you, box them up for the time being.  If you have any money issues to resolve like debts to the other or a joint checking account, get them sorted out.

After you have completed the property exchange, agree that you won’t have any communication for 30 days.  This may be hard if you are used to seeing each other on a daily basis, but after a boyfriend break up it is necessary to give yourself some space and distance.

It hurts a lot when a boyfriend break up with you.  But it isn’t the end of your life.  You can even look at it as a good thing because it means that you are now free to meet your true soul mate.

Of course, you shouldn’t jump to the conclusion that just because you’ve gone through a boyfriend break up that all of the doors are firmly shut.  If you think you have a shot of winning him back and that’s something you want, you should by all means take the opportunity to do so.

True love can even survive a boyfriend break up.