The Real Marriage Test

If you have ever thumbed through a magazine that regularly discusses relationships, whether it be a men’s or women’s magazine, chances are you have seen various types of quizzes. One of the more common quizzes is the marriage test. You answer a few silly questions, and then check your answers to get some supposedly deep insight into you relationship.

There is nothing wrong with such quizzes, and they can be a fun way to pass some while waiting for a doctor’s appointment. As long as you only take them for what they are–a source of entertainment–then there is no real harm in taking them. Besides, if you have ever taken them, you have probably noticed one or two things. First, the explanation of your score is so far off that it’s downright laughable. Second, the explanations are so general that they could apply to virtually any relationship you have ever been in; good or bad.

It is probably a safe assumption that no marriage test in a magazine has ever saved a marriage. They are fun and have their place, but fixing a relationship isn’t it; no matter what the maker of the quiz claims. However, there is a test you can use to help make your marriage stronger. You won’t find it any magazine, but not to worry, the questions of this marriage test are below.

Before you take the test, you need to decide which way works best for you. Will each of you take it separately with a pen and paper, or will you discuss the answers as you take the test? Either way, the main goal is to spark a good discussion about your marriage. This is important because good communication is one of the foundations of a healthy marriage.

1. How do you envision our future? This is a good question because it will show if you have drifted apart, or if you are still together in the things you want from the relationship. It’s far better to know where each of you stands instead of making assumptions. But, as long as you both seeing you being together, then it’s possible to work out the details.

2. What do you want from the marriage and life? The purpose of this question is to not only see what the ideal marriage means to each other, but to also see what the bigger life questions mean. Over the years people change, so you may be surprised to learn how your spouse answers this question, and vice-versa.

3. What’s the one thing you would change? By asking this you will get an idea of where the problem areas of your marriage are. Don’t take it personally, but be happy that you get a chance to learn where you can make improvements.

4. What could I do better? Be careful here. You need to make sure there is enough respect before you ask this question. The one answer you don’t want to hear is “nothing”. The truth is that none of us are perfect, and that means there is always room to do better. Your spouse should feel comfortable enough to tell you the truth, and you should feel confident enough to hear it.

Relationships Sites – Good vs Bad Advice

The Internet is filled with relationships sites that offer advice, tips and articles about good and bad relationships. Some are designed for those who are new in a relationship while others are for those who have had a break up and are now making up and trying to work it out. Can these relationships sites really help you heal your relationship?

If you take the information in them and apply it, it can certainly help. There are certain types of advice that are better than others, obviously. And some relationships sites are designed to get you to buy something, with articles that really don’t even make much sense.

Avoid those sites that are too cutesy to be useful, with quizzes and articles about things like how to trick your partner, how to cheat and not get caught, and things like that. Those aren’t for people in serious relationships, or they’re just for humor.

But sites that offer good advice can be very helpful. Very often there will be message boards and forums where other people reading the same information can interact. Testimonials about how the site helped might be available.

Be sure to take those testimonials with a grain of salt, however. Some relationships sites make them up, or have other people make them up, just to look better or sell you something.

The sites that have been put up by actual relationship experts like those who have written extensively on the subject are usually best. If they counsel people in healing relationships and have some popular books, they’re at least trying to offer useful information.

But there are sites that aren’t put out by experts that can contain gold mines, too. Some might have question and answer pages or even advice columns. It can often be helpful to read about other people’s situations. This lets you see what other people did while seeing if the advice might apply to your situation, too.

Relationships sites that guarantee they can save your relationships or marriage might not be great ones. If you’ve broken up and are now back together, you know how hard it is. And for any site or person to say that your relationship can definitely be saved is deceptive.

Without knowing your particular situation, no one should ever make that promise. And in fact, even with knowing your situation in detail, there’s no guarantee that anything can make absolutely sure that everything will work out all right.

The most any websites or even experts can do is give you the tools to try. You can get advice that will give you the best possible chance of making the relationship work this time. Then it’s up to you to use the information to make it happen.

Sites that have a lot of absolute statements, like how something will make him do a certain thing or think a certain way, aren’t being realistic. Look for relationships sites that admit not everything will work just as planned, as the advice in them will be much more practical.