After you break up with a guy, there is a period of loneliness.  Not only are you missing the time that you spent with him, but there is also a piece of your heart that walked out the door when he did.  If you are saying “I miss my ex boyfriend,” here are some ways to get past the feeling.

There are two steps to getting over an ex.  The first is to bring closure to the relationship and the second is to start on the next phase of your life.

Closure is the psychological term for ending a phase of one’s life.  There are many things you can do to stop saying “I miss my ex boyfriend.”

First of all, you should determine that he doesn’t want you back.  As long as you think that there is a chance you can get back together, you will not begin to heal.

To that end, exchange all of the physical possessions you have.  Don’t keep his toothbrush in your bathroom or hold on to his leather jacket.  If you have left clothes or other possessions at his house, pick them up.

If either of you owes the other money, pay it back as soon as possible.

Don’t contact him and don’t let him contact you.  Perhaps you can be friends in the future, but right now, you need time to separate your emotional lives.  If you give in and answer his phone calls, emails, or texts, you are just letting a wound fester.

If you find yourself saying “I miss my ex boyfriend,” sit down and write about it.  Write a letter to him sharing your feelings about the relationship and the break up.  But don’t send it to him.  Throw it away, or even better, burn it.  This will help you bring closure to the relationship.

After you’ve gotten over the initial hurt of the break up, start putting yourself out there again.  It might feel awkward at first, but you are going to have to face life as a single person sometime.  The sooner you get back on the scene, the sooner you will meet someone new.

If your ex took up a big part of your life, you will want to find new past times.  This may mean reconnecting with your girlfriends.  Or, it may mean going out and finding new friends.

One of the best ways to fill the space an old boyfriend took up is to start something new.  Join a class or a co-ed sports team.  See if your local book store has a monthly book club.  Start going to church again.

While it may be hard to get started on the social scene again, you will find that you miss your ex boyfriend much less when you are engaged in activities you enjoy.

When you have the opportunity to, start dating again.  Even if the first guy isn’t someone you can see spending the rest of your life with, accept his invitation to dinner or the movies.  As you get back into the routine of dating, you will be able to find a man who can appreciate and love you.

Whenever you hear yourself thinking “I miss my ex boyfriend,” do something that either brings closure to the relationship or propels you to move forward in your life.

When you find yourself saying “I miss my ex girlfriend,” you need to find ways to move forward with your life.  No matter how bad the break up was, there is life after your ex.  Finding your way through the depression that follows the end of the relationship can be hard.  That’s why you need to take concrete actions to move forward.

First of all, you need to work on bringing closure to the relationship.  Closure is the process by which you move on from a situation.  While you may find specific situations in which you say, “I miss my ex girlfriend,” you will not be in this state all of the time.

Begin by definitively saying that the relationship is over.  As long as you think there is a chance that you can get your ex back, you will not be able to move on.  Healing begins with putting an end to the relationship.

Next, you need to physically close the relationship.  You do that by exchanging all of the possessions in the other’s care.  Give her back the toothbrush and curling iron she kept at your house and ask her for the sweat shirt that she had borrowed for the long term.  If you owed each other money, settle up.

Once you have your possessions back, give yourself some physical space.  While you may want to remain friends with your ex in the long run, staying away in the short term will facilitate healing.  Don’t call, text, or email each other.  If she tries to contact you, screen her out.

And, don’t show up at places she is likely to be.  You don’t want to give her any opening to get under your skin.  Seeing her with another guy so soon will just prompt feelings of “I miss my ex girlfriend” all over again.

You may even need to change some of your social habits.  If you go to a small church, you might want to consider changing places of worship at least in the short term.  You may have to pick a new favorite bar or hang out as well.

When you start going new places, you will inevitably meet new people.  Some of these people will be female.  These new women are good prospects for dates.

While it may seem right now that you’ll never want to date another woman, the truth is that the sooner you get back on the dating scene, the sooner you will begin to heal.

It may not be enough to just be available though.  Consider actively seeking out women.  Take a class at the local university’s extension program.  Join a co-ed softball team.  Take up a new hobby.  All of these strategies will allow you to start meeting new women.

If a woman intrigues you, ask her out even if you can’t picture yourself in a long term relationship with her.  A date is just a fun social experience, not a commitment.

Pretty soon, you won’t be saying “I miss my ex girlfriend” nearly as frequently.  You will have moved on with your life.