Get Over Love

Being in a loving relationship is one of the best experiences you will ever have. When things are going good, you feel great, but when they come to an end there is nothing but heartache. Still, you at some point you are going to have to move beyond it and get over love. The love you used to have is gone and you need to find a way to accept it so you can start living your life again.

Before we start getting into some of the steps you can take to get over love, it’s important to point out that it won’t always be easy.

Your first course of action should be figuring out whether or not things are truly over between the two of you. Just because you have had a heated argument and aren’t together right now, doesn’t mean that you can’t work things out. Perhaps you drove each other crazy, or hurt each other’s feelings, but all of those things can be fixed. The catch is that you both have to want to work things out, and be willing to do whatever it takes.

Of course, getting back together is a valid way to get over a lost love, because you are effectively finding them again. Remember, you can’t change the other person so they either need to be ready to change, or you need to be able to live with their lack of change. Saying you’re sorry and forgiving them for anything they did wrong will go a long way toward patching things up. If there is no possibility of getting back together, then the following advice should help.

For the time being, you should do your best to remove any traces of your ex from your life. Things like love letters and photographs are obvious, but there are things that are less obvious, such as any items the two of you purchased together. You do not have to throw these things away or destroy them, just get them out of sight for a while. The fewer reminders you have of your lost love, the better.

You will also need to tie up any loose ends. For example, if the two of you had a joint bank account then you need to freeze or close it as soon as possible. Once that’s done, you can divide the money up fairly. There may also be various items that you have to sort out. Do your best to remain logical and respectful during this process. If it gets to be too much for either of you then try again in a few days if at all possible.

Now comes the fun part…rediscovering yourself for who you really are. It is really easy to change when you’re in a relationship. Not all changes are bad, but they are still changes. This may sound silly to some people, but the best way to get over love is to fall in love with who you really are. After all, nobody would deny that having positive self-esteem is much more enjoyable than wallowing in self-pity.

Relationship Breakups Stink – No Ifs Or Buts

broken heartFinding the best ways of handling  relationship breakups is a skill no one wants to be able to perfect.  In this case practice may make perfect but no on wants to endure the pain, confusion and humiliation once, let alone several times during their lives. The truth is though that most of us will go through it at least a couple of times. And though it sucks, having some idea of the best way to get through it may just help you keep yourself sane the next time it happens.

There  is no pill, potion, or spell that will take the pain away. The one thing that will take the pain away is time, sorry, but that’s the truth. But, that doesn’t mean that there aren’t things that you can do that will help lessen the pain, or at least distract you from it for a little while. There are many things that can do that. Just make sure when you are struggling to find something to dull the pain a little that you don’t fall into the trap of using destructive things because that will only cause more pain in the long run.

1. Give yourself a very limited time to wallow, I didn’t say grieve, that will take as long as it takes. What I’m talking about  is the “don’t get dressed, eat nothing but ice cream, and don’t leave your house for a week” wallowing. That has to be a limited time offer. It can be up to a week, but that’s it. Even though you’ll still be hurting after a week it’s time to get back out in the world and live your life.  Before you move out of this stage though you should put away all the pictures and knick knacks that remind you of your ex. You probably shouldn’t throw them away, you might want to some day, but wait until you’re out of pain and you’re sure you want to get rid of them. For now just stow them away in the basement or attic, out of sight.

2. Once you’ve gotten past the wallowing and you’re in the ‘I’m alive, though barely’ stage spend as much time as possible doing things that are fun (or at least you used to think  they were fun before this pain started).  Spend as much time doing positive things with positive people as you can.  It won’t take away the pain but it may dull it for short periods of time and that can help enormously.

One word of caution: do not get involved with anyone sexually or romantically at this point. You’re not ready and you’ll either feel guilty afterward or you’ll hurt an innocent person. Just take some time to be on your own romantically until your truly ready to move on, and if you really loved your ex, that won’t happen for a while.

Relationship breakups stink, sorry, but there’s no polite way to say it. Just do what you can to move through the grieving stage as quickly and easily as possible and believe that some day you will meet someone wonderful, again.

It seems like every time we turn around there is a new book or magazine article about relationship break up advice. The truth is that finding out the best way to deal with a breakup is information virtually every one will need at some point.  Whether you want to try to get your ex back, or just move on with as little pain as possible, it will take time (and having some friends around won’t hurt either).

The length of the relationship will often determine how long it will take you to move on. Most of the time, though not always, the longer the relationship and the more memories and baggage you have the longer it will take for you to stop grieving and feel like you want to meet someone new.  Even if they cheated on you or did something really bad, it will more often than not still take quite a bit of time for you to finally separate from them emotionally.

Even though we may wish we could at times, we can’t just flip a switch and turn off all the love and companionship we’d been feeling for such a long time. We will need to edge away slowly, in baby steps, until finally we can stand on our own and we’ll have moved on. The first step to this process is to get away. Maybe not literally, but figuratively. Put away all the pictures and mementos the two of you collected during your time together. Don’t call them or accept their call if they call you. You need space and time.

Everyone is different, for you it might be easier to have some friends come over and pack everything up all at once and put it in the attic.  For others it may be easier to do it in small steps, a little each day until it’s all out of sight. There is no wrong way, as long as it gets done.  Even doing something like redecorating or painting may help you get the fresh perspective that will help you.

If you’ve been meaning to buy new furniture or paint the wall in the living room, now may be the perfect time. For one thing it will give you something to do, something positive, that will keep you at least a little distracted. Another thing is that you will be changing the look of your environment which will make it a little easier to forget and move on.

No one is suggesting that a coat of paint on the wall or a new couch will make all the pain go away, but it might give you something else to focus on and take away some of the things that will trigger the painful memories of the two of you watching movies or doing the crossword puzzle on Sunday mornings. Those little memories of the seemingly unimportant times are the toughest to forget.  The best relationship break up advice I can give you is to keep moving forward in life, surround yourself with friends and family and hang in there, it does get better.

A break up can be a troubling and tiresome experience. It can be difficult for people to deal with this kind of emotion and pressure. If you are dealing with a break up, you need to make sure that you are keeping those emotions in check. If you want to know how to survive a break up, use these 4 tips for your current situation. These tips will help you to keep your emotions in check while managing to mend your broken heart.

Create Distance

If you want to survive the break up that you have just gone through, you need to create distance between you and your ex. You need to make sure that you are not talking to them. You will want to make sure that you cannot check any social media websites of theirs, and that you do not email them or text them. All communication must be shut off. This shut-off will help you to remove them from your life. The longer you stay in contact with them, the harder the break-up process will be.

Give Yourself Time

You need to give yourself time to cope. Some people want to get over their relationship as soon as it happens. Others want to drag their heart-break on as long as possible. You need to give yourself the proper time to cope with the emotions that come from that breakup. While you should not ignore these emotions, you should not dwell on them for long. Give yourself enough time to get over the relationship, but be sure to control and check your emotions so that it does not get out of hand.

Get Rid of Objects

If you are trying to get through a breakup, you need to get rid of things that remind you of your ex. Some people choose to burn these belongings. Others choose to simply store them away so that they are out of sight. Either method will work in this situation. You simply need to put away anything that could remind you of your relationship, and of the breakup.

Rely on Friends

Your friends will be your greatest tool when you are trying to get through a breakup. Your friends can help to get your mind off of the breakup. They can also help you to deal with your emotions as you go through the break-up process.

These four tips will help to keep your emotions in check. Your emotions will cause you to constantly think of your ex. These are the emotions that you must control. By creating distance and getting rid of different objects, you are controlling these emotions. The more you can control these emotions, the quicker you will get over your breakup. If you want to know how to survive a breakup, you need to follow these four tips.