I’m sorry.  If you’re reading this you must be having a very rough time in your relationship.  I know how difficult that can be.  If you are asking, ‘How can I save our relationship?” I do have some tips that might be able to make a difference for you and your partner.

There are a few things you have to consider very carefully and honestly first.  You have to decide why you want to save your relationship.  That might sound like a dumb comment to make but sometimes we cling to things that we should just let go.  We cling for the wrong reasons such as fear of being alone.  Before you invest too much time and emotion in trying to save your relationship first make sure that it should be saved.

Now that you’ve done your honest soul searching and  you’ve decided that your relationship is worth saving here are a few tips you can follow which should help:

1) It’s not all about you.  So often in relationships one person tends to carry more of the burden.  They are the ‘fixer’.  They are the ones who carry most of the emotional baggage.  If that person is you than you have to realize that you can’t do it all.  If your relationship is going to be saved your partner has to be able, and willing, to meet you halfway.

2) Try to communicate without condemning or criticizing.  When a relationship starts to falter there are a lot of hurt feelings and frustrations from both parties.  These hurts can build up into a huge wall of resentment.  That wall is very tough to tear down.  It will take a lot of time, patience, and open communication.

If the two of you aren’t good at communicating you might need to find resources such as a book or counseling, that can help you work on your communication skills.

3) Own it.  If you’ve screwed up you need to be a mature adult and admit your mistake and apologize for it.  This is key.  Remember in step 2 when I talked about resentments building up? You can do a lot to ease those resentments if you just own up to your mistakes and offer a sincere apology for the hurt you may have caused.  To someone who loves you and wants to make things work this will be a very sweet sound.

Follow these 3 steps and you will be well on  your way to answering the question ” how can i save our relationship?”.  Remember, the problems didn’t spring up overnight and they’re not going to go away overnight either.  But if the two of you are willing to work together you can get back the loving, fulfilling relationship you both want.

Do you wonder “how to save my marriage?”  This article tells you how to save your marriage.

First, you need to identify the trouble in your relationship.  Some common troubles include:

·    Money concerns
·    Child rearing difficulties
·    Lack of sex
·    Lack of communication
·    Loss of identity

And, of course, there are many others.  You may discover that there is one main problem or you may identify several smaller problems that are eating away at your marriage.

When you identify the problem or problems that are at the root of your marriage troubles, you will be able to move on to the next step which is close, personal interaction.

In this step, you will need to be open to extensive conversation.  If you have not had a lot of open communication during your marriage, you may want to consider counseling in order to facilitate the personal interaction that is key to this step.

If you really want to save your marriage, you will set aside time to work on your marriage issues every single day.  You could set aside some time like after the children go to bed or you could decide to take a walk after dinner every day for just the two of you.  But, you should plan to get back in touch with each other.  A daily habit of quality time with your spouse is very important.

Take some “romantic time” each week.  For some couples, this means reinstating a “date night” every week.  On Tuesdays, for instance, you get a sitter and go out for a picnic or walk around the mall.  As you can see, this doesn’t have to involve wine and roses every week, but a romantic time that you can look forward to all week is essential.

As you spend time together being romantic and discussing your problems, you must have an open mind toward what your partner is telling you.  You need to understand that a lot of the problems in your marriage are caused by – get this – you!  Until you really listen to your partner, you are not going to be able to effect the kind of personal change necessary to save your marriage.

You need to have faith in your partner.  You need to give him or her the benefit of the doubt.  You need to believe that the marriage still can and will work.  You also need to believe that your partner is still essentially the same person he or she was when you married them.  If you cannot have faith in your partner and in your marriage, you might as well give up now.

Finally, you have to be open to forgiveness.  If your partner has made mistakes – even major ones – you must be able to forgive.  If you insist that there are things that cannot be forgiven, there is no hope for your marriage.

Everyone makes mistakes.  Some people make big mistakes.  If that person makes a genuine apology – which includes acts of contrition and an effort to change – they deserve forgiveness.

This article gave you answers to that perplexing question, “how to save my marriage.”