All relationships go through many stages, but it’s not a good idea to rush into them. This is especially true if your boyfriend and you are thinking of moving on to the next level. The “next level” could refer to moving in together, an engagement, or any other serious step forward. Before you do any of these things, there are some serious questions to ask your boyfriend first.

There are a lot of things that should be discussed at some point, and they become even more important as the two of you get more serious about each other. While the idea that “opposites attract” is popular, the truth is that the more a couple has in common, the more likely they are to stay together. But the only way to find out how he feels about the bigger issues is to ask him. With that in mind, here are some topics for serious questions to ask your boyfriend.

1. What are each of your roles within the relationship? This is an excellent question to ask as it can reveal how each of you were brought up, how you see things now, and what your future may be like. Just the idea of “roles” is repulsive to some people, while others think they should be well-defined. That doesn’t mean they are right or wrong, but it is better to know how he feels about things in this regard. You won’t agree on everything, and when this happens you need to decide if you will be able to get past the differences.

2. How will you handle money? It is often said that disagreements about money is one of the leading causes of divorce. Whether that’s true or not, it’s a good idea to work this out sooner rather than later. Will you pool all of your money and pay bills and buy things with it? Will you pool some of your money? None of it? Who will pay bills? Will you have separate bank accounts? Are either of you in debt now? These are only a few of the money-related questions you should ask before you get too deep into your relationship.

3. Will you have children? You may not have to ask this question in the earliest stages of the relationship, but it is something that will eventually need to be discussed. If you both want kids, are you both able to have them? Is adoption an option? How many children do you want? How soon do you want them?

This list isn’t meant to cover everything you should talk about, but it does cover the bigger issues, and can open the door for a deeper discussion. These serious questions to ask your boyfriend may not always be the easiest to discuss, but they are vital if you want the relationship to move forward.

It doesn’t matter if you’ve been in a relationship for a while or if it’s brand new, most people will reach a point where they are considering taking their relationship to the next level.  The next level could mean anything from physical intimacy to a walk down the aisle.  No matter what the next level is for you, now is the time to start  evaluating your relationship with your partner.

While it may seem like this would be an easy thing to do it can actually be very difficult.  There are a few reasons why achieving an honest evaluation can be a tough thing for people:

1) If you wait too long to honestly access the quality and strength of your relationship you may already be in too deep to be able to objectively analyze the weak points in your partner and your relationship.

Once you’ve fallen for that person you will see only what you want to see.  Few people will still have the strength to honestly admit that there might be a problem. They will turn a blind eye and pretend that everything is great.

2) During the early days and most of the ‘dating phase’ of a relationship your partner, and you, can be very guarded and careful of what they let the other see.  With some people it’s a deliberate attempt to hide their true colors with other’s it’s a more innocent “putting the best foot forward” type of thing.

Either way this tendency can make an honest evaluation very difficult.

One of the most important things you can do to try to have a secure and fulfilling relationship is to honestly evaluate the strength of your partner and the relationship early on.

It’s also important to take your time.  Too many people ignore the warning signs because they just want to be with someone so badly they are willing to be mistreated just so they don’t have to be alone.

If you really want a strong relationship make sure you are strong first.  If you are happy with you and you have made a full life for yourself filled with people and activities that make you happy, then you won’t be so desperate for a relationship that you  allow yourself to be mistreated.

Honestly evaluating your relationship with your partner is something everyone should do, but few actually do.  The earlier you do it the easier it will be to see things clearly as they really are and not just as you want them to be.  That is the difference between a happy and loving relationship and an unhappy and potentially abusive relationship.

Mike was at a loss as to how to get an ex girlfriend back.  Suzie had dumped him saying that he was a slob.  Mike and Suzie had been talking about moving in together and Suzie said she realized that she just wasn’t able to take a relationship to the next level when the partner couldn’t even maintain his own hygiene.  Now Mike was at a loss about how to get an ex girlfriend back.

Mike took a careful assessment of himself.  He noted that he often didn’t shave on the weekends.  He hadn’t had a haircut in 8 weeks.  Suzie had often casually mentioned that he might want to get a manicure but he dismissed this as “girl stuff.”

He also looked around his apartment and realized that it was a pig sty.  No wonder Suzie hadn’t wanted to set up housekeeping with him!

Armed with this crucial information about himself, he decided that he needed to win Suzie over.  The question was how to get an ex girlfriend back.

While Mike wasn’t very good at cleaning himself, he did hire a housekeeping service to do a deep clean on his apartment and then scheduled them to come in once a week.  He also asked the housekeeper to put doing his laundry on their list of things to do so that he would always have a clean shirt and pair of undershorts to wear.

He made a point to shower and shave every day – even when he wasn’t going to see anybody.  He figured making a habit of it would be a good idea.  Mike also made sure that he brushed his teeth morning and evening, something he had neglected from time to time before.

After Mike had cleaned up his act, the next step in his how to get an ex girlfriend back campaign was to write a letter to Suzie telling her about the changes he had made.  He even included photos of himself and his apartment.

Suzie was touched enough to agree to have coffee with Mike.  She really loved Mike, but had felt that nagging was the only way to get him to change.  She wanted to take the relationship to the next level and get a home together, but didn’t feel that she could live with such a slob.

Mike acknowledged her concerns.  He said that there were things that he could do a better job at, like taking care of his personal grooming.  He also said that he was unlikely to do a lot of the housekeeping, but he could hire a maid service to do that for him knowing that having a clean place was important to Suzie.

Suzie appreciated the efforts that Mike had made.  She said she wasn’t ready to change residences based on a few week’s efforts though.  Mike and Suzie agreed that they would start going out again and, in six month’s time, reconsider moving in together based on whether Mike had truly become less of a slob.

Mike decoded the secret of how to get an ex girlfriend back and saved a relationship that meant a lot to him.