You’re probably not thinking about the different stages of a relationship while you’re with someone. And especially if the relationship is new or restarting after a breakup, it’s not likely on your mind. But if you understand the different stages of a relationship it can help you understand where you are and what’s yet to come.

Of all the stages of a relationship, the first stage is probably the most exciting.  This is the romance stage, the beginning. There’s dating and getting to know each other, and each of you is on your very best behavior because you want to woo the other person.

This stage is often called the honeymoon period, because everything is fresh and new. Everything the other person does probably seems wonderful. You laugh at his jokes, and don’t mind the person’s flaws. In fact, you may even find his flaws endearing. Just like anything new, it can be a great deal of fun and seem adventurous.

The next two stages are the make or break stages that many couples never make it through. They account for things like very short relationships and marriages. The second stage is commonly known as the power struggle stage.

This is when the newness starts to wear off, and usually starts somewhere between six months to a year after the relationships starts. It’s during this time that things start to get serious. Everything isn’t as cute and endearing as it was in the beginning.

Each person in the relationship is trying to get his or her needs met, and they’re starting to notice where the other person falls short in doing that. If you’re in this stage, take a step back. The things you’re finding fault with in the other person are probably flaws that you have also.

If a couple can get through this stage, the relationship has a much better chance of lasting. Unfortunately, many couples try to change each other in the second stage. This leads to break-ups. Honest communication is the key to getting past it. Be understanding, and realize that you have shortcomings, too.

The third of the stages of a relationship is where you realize that you can’t change the other person, and you stop trying. If you came to that realization by talking with your partner and being understanding, then congratulations are in order!

This stage for you will be one of learning to be content with what the other has to offer and learning to take care of yourself. If the power struggle ended badly, then this is the stage where you’re likely to end the relationship.

The next stage is that of commitment. You realized you couldn’t change each other but you still made it work, and you know you want to be together.  Now you can move on to a true partnership, which is the last stage.

Many couples bounce from stage 2 to 3 several times before moving on to commitment. By understanding the stages of a relationship, you’re at least aware of what’s happening and why.

Almost everyone in their life has had to go through a breakup.  A breakup is a strange thing.  Most things in life, the more you do them, the easier it becomes to do.  With breakups no matter how many you’ve had to go through in the past, they certainly don’t become easier to go through.

After a breakup, unless the relationship was completely terrible, most people desire to get their ex back.  In fact, sometimes, even if the relationship was unhealthy, they still desire to get their ex back.  You really shouldn’t try to get back with your ex if they ever used physical violence or words to hurt you.  That is not a healthy relationship.  If you were in a relationship like that and your ex broke up with you, then consider yourself lucky.

Otherwise, most relationships follow a pretty predictable pattern.  When you first meet someone everything is wonderful and new.  They can do no wrong and you can do no wrong in their eyes.  After a short while comfort sets in.  You adjust to each other.  When the newness is gone and the comfort is there things in the relationship change.  The little quirks you were willing to overlook before actually bother you now.

There is an expression: “Familiarity breeds contempt.”  Truer words couldn’t be spoken for relationships.  After a couple get comfortable and familiar with each other, trouble usually starts.  This is exactly what tests the strength of the relationship.  It takes work and effort to maintain a relationship.  Sometimes, when things break, instead of getting repaired, the other person wants out of the relationship completely

Do you believe, despite it being over, your relationship is worth salvaging, even if the other person made it clear, it’s over?  You need some answers on how get your ex back.  Here are four steps you can take.

1.Say sorry

Saying you are sorry is one of the best how get your ex back methods.  Even if it doesn’t get your ex back, it’s usually the best first step.  Be sure that you say sorry for the right reasons.  After a breakup it can be easy to blame yourself for everything.  Remember, it takes two people to have a successful relationship.  Knowing what exactly to apologize for is critical.

Whatever you do, when you apologize don’t let your ex bait you into an argument.  The biggest irony of saying sorry to an ex is that it can easily lead to another fight.  If you say you’re sorry, and your ex brings something else up, don’t get defensive.  Stay calm, keep your emotions, your ego, and your pride in check.

2.Sit down and talk things out

If your ex is up to it, set a time where both of you can sit down and talk.  Whatever you don’t beg, plead, cry, or force your ex into this.  If they don’t want to, then just go to the next step.  If they do agree, you’re going to have to keep your emotions in check.  This isn’t the time to get into a fight again.  Make it clear to your ex that you have no desire to bring blame into the discussion.

You want to talk about the issues objectively. If you talk strictly about the issues without assigning blame, you’ll get better results.  It is best if you can get a therapist or an expert in the field of relationships involved with this, if at all possible.

3.Give some space

This may seem counter-intuitive to how get your ex back.  You have to remember just because you want to talk to them or see them, doesn’t mean they do.  It is crucial to allow the partner some space. A brief time away from each other, before you try to win them back, will give you both time to cool down and a chance for them to miss you.  If you’re in touch with them all the time, they won’t be able to miss you.

4.Show them you care about yourself

Prove to them that you care about yourself. If you seem desperate, clingy, and whiny, you will not succeed.  If you sit around the house waiting for them to call or keep checking your email every few minutes hoping to get their message, you’re not doing yourself any favors.  Hang out with friends.  Go to movies, go to concerts, go to the mall.  Whatever, just get up and get out and live your life.

It’s best if you’re not there when your ex calls.  Then they’ll be wondering what you’re doing.  If you’re out and your cell rings and its your ex, don’t answer it.  Let the call go to voice mail. The best thing to do is wait until the next day to call them back.  Tell them you were busy, and you didn’t have time to call them back.  This will probably shock them.  You may even be able to get them to pursue you again.