Keeley knew it was time to be moving on.  Break up with her boyfriend Joe had just happened.  She knew there was no chance of getting back together, so she had to get on with her life.

First, Keeley tried talking to her friends about the break up.  At first, they were sympathetic.  But soon, they became bored with the topic and wanted to talk about their own issues.  Keeley became frustrated at their lack of support.

Her mom, on the other hand, couldn’t talk about anything but Joe.  She thought Keeley was insane to let him get away.  It sometimes seemed like her mom had been more in love with Joe than Keeley ever was.

After a few weeks, Keeley decided to go to a therapist for five sessions.  Over the course of a few weeks, she began to identify the problems which had led to the break up and plan out a strategy for moving on.

The first thing she did was to for the moving on break up was to get rid of all of Joe’s things.  Some, like the leather jacket he loved, she gave back.  Other things like his toothbrush she just threw away.  And, he had given her some nice jewelry, but she decided to box these up and store them until she became less emotional about Joe.

Next, she started doing things that she didn’t feel comfortable doing when Joe was around.  For instance, Joe would never go to the ballet with her.  Keeley had trained as a classical dancer and she appreciated Swan Lake and Giselle.  When a performance came to town, she got a couple of girlfriends together and they went.  This is not something she would have done if she had been together with Joe.

She also decided to join an adult dance class.  Partially, it got her out of the house two nights a week.  It also got her back into shape.  But, she was able to meet new people as well.  She liked the comraderie of the class.

She also explored new passions.  She never knew much about fine wines.  Joe had preferred beer and she had usually just ordered the house white.  But when she heard a local winery was offering a wine tasting class, she decided to join.

Over the course of five weeks, she developed a palate.  She began to appreciate the difference between a young wine and an old wine.

And, she met Rodney.  Rodney was a good looking lawyer who was interested in good wine and fine food.  He was also interested in Keeley.

Part of how Keeley knew that she was getting over the pain of losing Joe was that she was interested in Rodney.

Keeley doesn’t know whether the relationship with Rodney is going to be long term or a short term rebound fling.  But she does know that she doesn’t miss Joe when Rodney is around.  And that’s moving on break up advice!

Sometimes moving on (break up, loss or other major change) is difficult.  It’s rarely easy unless you’re so glad to get out of a situation that you can’t wait to make changes and move on.  A break up disrupts your whole life.  Everything you do and see seems to remind you of your ex.  If you had many mutual friends, even going out to keep from going stir crazy can be difficult.

One of the biggest hurdles you have to face when you’re ready to move on is your family and friends.  If your ex was popular with your family, you’re going to get tired of questions about the situation.  You must explain to them that you’re moving on, break up is over, and that you don’t appreciate constantly being reminded of your ex and the past relationship.

Sometimes this is difficult for family to deal with.  They want to keep bringing up the person in the hopes that you’ll get back together.  You can just explain, “Moving on, break up is over, that’s that.”  Eventually they’ll come around because they’re your family and they love you.  It’s probably going to be harder to deal with when it comes to your friends.

If you didn’t have many mutual friends, then it should be less of a problem.  But if the two of you often hung out with the same group of people, then you going alone to be with those friends is going to seem strange to everyone for a while. And then there’s the problem of your ex wanting to hang out with the friends, too.  You might even run into each other as you each attempt to hang out with your mutual friends.  This doesn’t mean that it’s necessary when you’re moving on break up with your friends.  It’s just simply going to be more difficult to maintain some of those friendships once the relationship is over.

As difficult as it seems, when you say, “Moving on, break up is history,” you may have to give up some of those friendships.  You and your ex may each have to keep in touch with only certain friends in your group of mutual friends.  Just try to maintain good contact and relationships with those you’re closest to and allow your ex to do the same with the others. While this can be painful, it’s probably easiest on everyone because they don’t have to choose which of you to be loyal to and which to avoid.

Sometimes the “moving on break up” period is just too difficult when you’re surrounded by mutual friends and so many places to go together.  If possible, go on a vacation to get away from the same scenery and people.  Take a vacation with a friend who isn’t involved in the situation; maybe a friend of yours who wasn’t friends with your ex.  This can help you get some perspective. Once you’ve declared, “moving on; break up over” then if you can take some time away it can help you a great deal.