Here is a question that people have all the time.  Is writing letters to get your ex back really a good idea? There are many people that write letters, text messages, e-mails and just about every other form of text-based correspondence that you can think of on a daily basis.  Many of these people will resort to that form of communication when trying to get an ex-lover to fall in love with them again.

In order to truly comment on how effective this method is, we need to examine both the good points and the bad points about it.  The good to writing letters is that they will allow you to express feelings that you might not otherwise be able to express.  There are plenty of people that can say more in text than they’d ever be able to say verbally.  So if letters are helping you with the communication process, they can definitely be a good thing.

On the other hand, letters are also quite impersonal.  People that are broken up with over the phone, over an instant messaging program, through mail or even by text-message are people that tend to really hold grudges.  The most honest way to break up with someone is in person, although many people just don’t have the gumption to do it this way.  Just as this is true with breakups, so too is it true with everything else related to relationships.  If you want to get your ex back, the letter might not be the best way to communicate that information.

This is actually even more evident if you go back and look at the previous good point about writing letters.  Even though they can help you communicate things that you find hard to communicate verbally, your ex probably already knows that.  Therefore, learning to communicate those things verbally shows that you can change for the better for your ex and that is something that is more likely to make them come back to you than a written letter.

Generally speaking though, all of this might be a bit of an academic debate.  The reason for that is that many times the direct approach is not the best one when it comes to getting your ex back.  Writing letters to get your ex back by definition involves the direct approach.  If your goal with the letter is to start up the relationship again, you can do nothing but take the direct approach.  The closer to the breakup you write the letter, the less likelihood there is of the direct approach being able to work.

Most people would advise that you go with the indirect approach.  Let your relationship with your ex grow back into friendship after the breakup and then take the opportunity to reignite the relationship when it comes along.  That is far more indirect than direct in nature and naturally does not involve the writing of any letters.  This means that at best, there is debate going back and forth about how beneficial letter writing actually is.

Did your boyfriend break up with you?  This is a rough time in your life.  You are probably hurting and want to know what caused your boyfriend break up.

First of all, while you can use this time to look at yourself and where you are in your life, don’t do too much introspection.  The truth behind why your boyfriend break up with you is that he had his own issues.  You know what they say, “it’s not you, it’s me.”

You can spend time trying to get your ex back.  If you are going to go down this route, you need to know the following things:

·    Don’t pester your ex – when your boyfriend break up with you, it meant that you have more limited access to him.  So don’t text him multiple times a day or call him a lot.

·    It’s okay to flirt with other guys in his presence.  It may even make him want you back more.

·    When you do get back together for a “trial date” be cheerful and friendly but don’t pressure him for more than he can handle.

But, if you have a feeling in your gut that the relationship is over when your boyfriend break up with you, then you need to start moving on.

One of the first things you can do after your boyfriend break up is to sit down and write a long letter to him pouring out your heart.  You can talk about the good times and bad.  You can tell him what a jerk he is and call him all sorts of names.  But, don’t mail the letter!  Instead, take a candle out and burn it.  This is one of the best ways to get closure after a boyfriend break up.

The next thing you need to do is do a property exchange.  Give him back the t-shirt that you love to sleep in.  Get the econ textbook you lent him.  If there are things like toothbrushes that are too trivial to exchange, throw them away.  Don’t have anything around that reminds you of him.  If you have gifts that he gave you, box them up for the time being.  If you have any money issues to resolve like debts to the other or a joint checking account, get them sorted out.

After you have completed the property exchange, agree that you won’t have any communication for 30 days.  This may be hard if you are used to seeing each other on a daily basis, but after a boyfriend break up it is necessary to give yourself some space and distance.

It hurts a lot when a boyfriend break up with you.  But it isn’t the end of your life.  You can even look at it as a good thing because it means that you are now free to meet your true soul mate.

Of course, you shouldn’t jump to the conclusion that just because you’ve gone through a boyfriend break up that all of the doors are firmly shut.  If you think you have a shot of winning him back and that’s something you want, you should by all means take the opportunity to do so.

True love can even survive a boyfriend break up.