After you break up with a guy, there is a period of loneliness.  Not only are you missing the time that you spent with him, but there is also a piece of your heart that walked out the door when he did.  If you are saying “I miss my ex boyfriend,” here are some ways to get past the feeling.

There are two steps to getting over an ex.  The first is to bring closure to the relationship and the second is to start on the next phase of your life.

Closure is the psychological term for ending a phase of one’s life.  There are many things you can do to stop saying “I miss my ex boyfriend.”

First of all, you should determine that he doesn’t want you back.  As long as you think that there is a chance you can get back together, you will not begin to heal.

To that end, exchange all of the physical possessions you have.  Don’t keep his toothbrush in your bathroom or hold on to his leather jacket.  If you have left clothes or other possessions at his house, pick them up.

If either of you owes the other money, pay it back as soon as possible.

Don’t contact him and don’t let him contact you.  Perhaps you can be friends in the future, but right now, you need time to separate your emotional lives.  If you give in and answer his phone calls, emails, or texts, you are just letting a wound fester.

If you find yourself saying “I miss my ex boyfriend,” sit down and write about it.  Write a letter to him sharing your feelings about the relationship and the break up.  But don’t send it to him.  Throw it away, or even better, burn it.  This will help you bring closure to the relationship.

After you’ve gotten over the initial hurt of the break up, start putting yourself out there again.  It might feel awkward at first, but you are going to have to face life as a single person sometime.  The sooner you get back on the scene, the sooner you will meet someone new.

If your ex took up a big part of your life, you will want to find new past times.  This may mean reconnecting with your girlfriends.  Or, it may mean going out and finding new friends.

One of the best ways to fill the space an old boyfriend took up is to start something new.  Join a class or a co-ed sports team.  See if your local book store has a monthly book club.  Start going to church again.

While it may be hard to get started on the social scene again, you will find that you miss your ex boyfriend much less when you are engaged in activities you enjoy.

When you have the opportunity to, start dating again.  Even if the first guy isn’t someone you can see spending the rest of your life with, accept his invitation to dinner or the movies.  As you get back into the routine of dating, you will be able to find a man who can appreciate and love you.

Whenever you hear yourself thinking “I miss my ex boyfriend,” do something that either brings closure to the relationship or propels you to move forward in your life.

Keeley knew it was time to be moving on.  Break up with her boyfriend Joe had just happened.  She knew there was no chance of getting back together, so she had to get on with her life.

First, Keeley tried talking to her friends about the break up.  At first, they were sympathetic.  But soon, they became bored with the topic and wanted to talk about their own issues.  Keeley became frustrated at their lack of support.

Her mom, on the other hand, couldn’t talk about anything but Joe.  She thought Keeley was insane to let him get away.  It sometimes seemed like her mom had been more in love with Joe than Keeley ever was.

After a few weeks, Keeley decided to go to a therapist for five sessions.  Over the course of a few weeks, she began to identify the problems which had led to the break up and plan out a strategy for moving on.

The first thing she did was to for the moving on break up was to get rid of all of Joe’s things.  Some, like the leather jacket he loved, she gave back.  Other things like his toothbrush she just threw away.  And, he had given her some nice jewelry, but she decided to box these up and store them until she became less emotional about Joe.

Next, she started doing things that she didn’t feel comfortable doing when Joe was around.  For instance, Joe would never go to the ballet with her.  Keeley had trained as a classical dancer and she appreciated Swan Lake and Giselle.  When a performance came to town, she got a couple of girlfriends together and they went.  This is not something she would have done if she had been together with Joe.

She also decided to join an adult dance class.  Partially, it got her out of the house two nights a week.  It also got her back into shape.  But, she was able to meet new people as well.  She liked the comraderie of the class.

She also explored new passions.  She never knew much about fine wines.  Joe had preferred beer and she had usually just ordered the house white.  But when she heard a local winery was offering a wine tasting class, she decided to join.

Over the course of five weeks, she developed a palate.  She began to appreciate the difference between a young wine and an old wine.

And, she met Rodney.  Rodney was a good looking lawyer who was interested in good wine and fine food.  He was also interested in Keeley.

Part of how Keeley knew that she was getting over the pain of losing Joe was that she was interested in Rodney.

Keeley doesn’t know whether the relationship with Rodney is going to be long term or a short term rebound fling.  But she does know that she doesn’t miss Joe when Rodney is around.  And that’s moving on break up advice!