Jenny had a problem with her ex boyfriend.  To get back together, she needed him to understand that she required real commitment.

Brian was an on again off again kind of man.  He would get really serious with her for a while and then back off and say they should see other people.  This had happened three times and Jenny was tired of saying Brian was her boyfriend and then her ex boyfriend.  To get back together this time would require something more.

So, Jenny sat down and decided what she needed from Brian.  She decided that she would pursue a two prong strategy.

First of all, she said that they could get back together one more time.  If he called things off after that, she would move on with her life.  Brian had to be really serious this time.

But the second prong was just as important.  Jenny realized that part of the problem was hers.  She always pushed to intensify the relationship too soon.  Brian would comply initially but then ask for more space after a couple of weeks.

So, Jenny decided that this time, Brian would set the pace for the relationship.  She wouldn’t pressure him to make commitments other than not seeing other women.  Other than that fundamental principle, he would control the pace of the relationship.

When Jenny presented this solution to her ex boyfriend, to get back together with the understanding that he would control the pace, Brian was quite receptive.

Brian, like most men, needed to be the pursuer.  When Jenny set the pace, she took away his ability to pursue her.  He found that he felt both emasculated and suffocated at the same time.

So, Jenny stopped calling him.  She let Brian call her.  She stopped suggesting date ideas and let him set things up.

Jenny found that at first they didn’t go out as often as she would have liked.  And, their dates were less “creative” than they would have been had she planned them.

But, she also found that the time they spent together was more meaningful than it had been in the past.  Brian no longer felt like he was a fish out of water when he was with her.  And, he no longer needed to take “breaks” from her.

Jenny first needed to decide what she wanted.  She knew she wanted Brian and she knew she wanted him full time.

But, she also needed to figure out what Brian wanted.  He wanted to have space and he also wanted to be in control of the relationship.  Despite being a modern woman, Jenny realized that this was important to Brian.

Suddenly, Brian was no longer an ex boyfriend.  To get back with your ex, figure out what you want and what he needs.  Then deliver.

John wanted to get an ex girlfriend back. John was a veteran of the war in Iraq and he knew that he had to make a battle plan to get an ex girlfriend back.

John’s ex, a woman named Macy, broke up with him because she had met someone else, in this case a poet. John knew that while Macy had an artistic streak, she wasn’t going to ultimately be happy with someone whose idea of a good time was rhyming couplets. In short, the poet wasn’t the kind of man that John was.

So, John set out a battle plan to get an ex girlfriend back. There were three prongs to his approach.

The first thing he did was to smooth out the rough edges on himself. He let his crew cut grow out and had a short stylish haircut. He also started reading some of the books Macy had mentioned in the past. He figured that to get an ex girlfriend back, he had to be the kind of boyfriend she wanted.

The next prong of attack was to show her that he was a virile man that other women wanted. He called up Sarah, a friend of Macy’s, and asked her if she wanted to go to dinner as a casual date. When she said yes, John texted Macy and asked where Sarah might like to go on a date.

Macy immediately called John and wanted to know why he was taking Sarah out. John told her that they were broken up and he was moving on. He had always thought Sarah was an interesting person and thought it might be a good time to get to know her. If Macy had any objections, maybe she should reconsider the break up.

Macy slammed down the phone, which John expected. But he had planted the idea with Macy that he was a desirable guy. This was all part of his get an ex girlfriend back strategy.

The third prong of attack was to use the date with Sarah to get information back to Macy. John was the perfect gentleman on his date with Sarah. He brought her a single rose when he picked her up. He took her to a nice restaurant. And, on the date, he talked about the fabulous books he had been reading lately.

Then, when he dropped her off, he gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek but didn’t go any further. The next day, he sent her a lovely bouquet and said “I had a really good time. I hope you did too.”

Sarah, of course, was on the phone with Macy immediately. She wanted to know why Macy had broken off a relationship with such a great guy.

Meanwhile, the luster had gone off the relationship with the Poet, and Macy was missing John a lot.

Macy called John a couple of days after his date with Sarah and wanted to know if the two of them could try starting up their relationship again.

That, my friends, is how to get an ex girlfriend back.