Anybody who has been hurt after going through a break up understands how difficult it is to move forward, and how common the question of how to get your ex back is. In virtually every single case, both of you were to blame to some extent. In other words, both of you have hurt feelings, and both of you played a role in causing those hurt feelings. The ability to forgive is absolutely critical to mending a relationship, and must be part of the equation of how to win your ex back.

Getting your ex back means that you will have to learn to be humble. And it will be much easier if your ex demonstrates humility as well. This is the opposite of selfishness, and it’s being selfish that is at the root of a troubled relationship. You have to make up your mind that you are not the most important person in the couple, but that both of you are.

Let’s face it, we are all human, and that means we are all prone to making mistakes. While there may be some mistakes that are too big to move beyond, the truth is that most mistakes are quite minor in the bigger scope of things. Things said during the heat of an argument can sting, but they also tend to be exaggerated. That doesn’t make them okay, but remember how easy it is to say things you don’t really mean when you’re not thinking all that clearly.

Perhaps you have been on the receiving end of harsh words. If so, try to consider the context. Was it really meant to be the other person’s true feelings? Or, is it possible that the comments were made in the heat of the moment, and blown out of proportion? Before you answer too quickly, take a look at yourself and ask if you have ever said things you don’t really mean yourself. You will have an easier answer to how to get your ex back once you are able to see things for what they really are, instead of taking them too personally.

Now, even though you may not have meant a lot of the things you said or did, it’s still up to you to make amends for your actions. Notice that it says “make amends” and not “make excuses”. A heartfelt apology can go a long way toward patching things up. You will have to be able to work things out if you want to have any chance of getting back together.

All of this goes beyond an honest apology. You also have to show that you aren’t going to make the same mistakes again. And that brings us full circle to the idea of humility. When you love each other and are willing to learn how to get your ex back, then you don’t need to prove you are right, or somehow better than the other person. Instead, you will work together to build a relationship that works the way both parties would like it to work.

If you are trying to get woman back, but you were a jerk to her, you may not deserve her. That may not be what you want to hear but it may very well be the truth. It is good that you recognize that you may have had a problem but what are you going to do about it and why should she want you back? Until you figure those things out you may not get woman back.

Here’s what you need to do to get woman back:
1)    Change the way you look at women. If you consider them property then you do not deserve a chance. View them as people deserving of respect and do your best to give it to them and you might have a chance. To love women you need to respect women.
2)    Change the way you treat women. Chivalry is not dead. Be a gentleman and treat them as queens. If you can pull this off your chances improve. Be subtle about it and try not to draw attention. You don’t want to look like you are faking it. They will notice. Women are smart like that and if she doesn’t notice she will have a friend notice and tell her. Your credibility may be shot.
3)    Learn humility. This will go a long way towards helping you get woman back.
4)    Let her know that you were a jerk. If she tells you that you were, just agree with her. If she exaggerates, or it seems like she is, remember that to her she isn’t. The only person’s opinion that matters is hers if your goal is to get woman back. You’re selling and you’re trying to get her to buy. The customer is always right.
5)    Find out if she wants some space or if she wants you to come begging and then give her what she wants. This will be a tough thing to do. You may have to ask around to people who know her well.  She may even think that your efforts to try out are worth giving you a second thought.
6)    Try and convince her friends that you are changed. You will have to do this first. They will be skeptical of you and will be most interested in protecting their friend that you hurt. If you can win her friends then you have won the major part of the battle. If you try and get ex back first, you will have trouble convincing her and even if you do, they may talk her out of it. Do you want her trusted friends for you or against you?
7)    Don’t tell her that you have changed, show her. Words are great but it doesn’t mean anything unless there is some action to back it up. You need more than words.
8)    Think about the long term and if you are going to be able to make this change permanent. If you can’t then you are going to end up in the same place you are now but only with a smaller chance to get woman back.

How to get your ex back and move forward is a difficult thing to figure out when someone has been hurt. Most likely it was both of you who were hurt and both of you who did the hurting. Forgiveness is essential to any relationship being mended and has to happen if you want to know how to win your ex back.

Learning how to get your ex back is going to involve learning humility on both sides. Being selfish is what got your relationship in trouble at the beginning. You decided that the individual was more important than what you two had as a couple.

People make mistakes. It is true that some mistakes are too big to overcome but most mistakes that people make in relationships are trivial. They are also made in the heat of the moment and often times can be exaggerated. Realize that it is easy for someone to say or do the wrong thing when they aren’t thinking clearly.

If you have had the wrong thing said or done to you, think of the context. What was going on around that time that made things as bad as what it got? Was there something going on in one of your lives outside of the relationship that brought unnecessary strain? If you can recognize what it was you have a chance to learn how to get your ex back.

If you had your pride and feelings hurt by the actions of another, can you forgive them? Can you suck back in your pride and realize that it was a mistake and what you had was greater than the incidents that drove you apart? Can you be willing to forgive it and let it go? You will have to learn how to do this if you want to know how to get your ex back.

If you hurt someone dear to you, you need to suck back in your pride as well. Realize that you made a mistake. Own it and take responsibility for your actions. If it is important to you to know how to get back your ex then you have to realize that there are things that you are going to have to correct in the way that you handle situations. If there is some problem or mistake that you keep making, get counseling or some kind of help. Don’t expect that you can continue to do the same thing over and over and expect different results.

Be able to approach each other with humility, not holding yourself up over the other person. Stop thinking that you are too big to come back and say, “I’m sorry.” When someone says to you that they are sorry don’t hold it over them and say, “Yeah, you should be.” Decide that what you have as a couple is more important than the problems that came and decide to work together as a team to overcome them. If you do this then you have found how to get your ex back.