Are you in the process of surviving a break up?  It may seem like there is no hope.  But, really there is.

First of all, you have to decide whether the relationship is really over or whether it’s just a temporary situation.  Some people find that their coupledom becomes even stronger after a hiatus.

But other times, you know that it is over and you need to go about mourning the relationship.  Your ex was probably the person who you were closest to in the whole world.  Now, you need to find people and activities to replace him or her.

Sometimes you can turn to friends and family members to discuss the situation.  If they are sympathetic and allow you to do the talking that you need to do, this is an optimal situation.

Unfortunately, most people are consumed with their own situations.  They have little patience for dealing with other people’s problems and concerns.  While they may listen for the first couple of days, their basic tenet will be “get over it.”

If this is the case, you may want to consider going to a counselor.  A therapist will help you work through the issues that caused your relationship to dissolve.  Many people have found that a counselor is the best person to help you in surviving a break up.

At some point, you have to start to move on.  One of the best ways to do this is to exchange all of the personal items you have with your ex.  Most of the time, this means clothes, but there are other items which you keep at each other’s homes.

If there are things like toothbrushes that don’t merit an exchange, throw them away.  If you have personal gifts that you don’t want to give back, box them up and put them away for the time being.  You don’t want to have anything that reminds you of your ex lying around the house for the time being.

Then, start focusing on how you can improve yourself.  Because you were part of a couple for so long, you referenced yourself as “we.”  Now, it is all about “me.”  And, that’s not a bad place to be in.

You can now do the things you want.  She didn’t like gambling?  You can now go to the guys’ poker night.  He didn’t like chick flicks?  Rent all the movies you missed.

And, start doing a self improvement campaign.  Go work out.  Take some classes.  Join a hiking group.

Start to meet new people, particularly people who can be friends not lovers.  These people will provide a valuable network for you now and in the future.

Finally, at some point, you have to put yourself back on the market again.  Go to single’s events or check out online dating sites.  When you find someone new who you really like, you know you will be finally over your ex.

Do you know how to win ex back?  When a woman has left a man, she probably has a good reason, at least in her own mind.  Thus, you have to be prepared to battle for her heart if you want to win ex back.

A relationship has a beginning, a middle and an end.  The question is whether you are in the middle and just taking a hiatus or whether it is really over and you are at the end.

If your girlfriend wants to start the relationship anew, you need to be able to work things out on a fresh start.  You should plan out your steps ahead of time if you want the new relationship to work out better than the old one did.

First of all, consider why you broke up.  Were there underlying problems that plagued your relationship?  If so, how can you fix them going forward?

Second, analyze why you want your ex back.  Do you just feel lonely because she’s not around?  If so, any woman will do.  But, if you have a hole in your heart that only she will fill, that’s different.

Third, you need to become the person that she needs.  Think back to what you were like when she fell in love with you.  Have you changed?  Did you stop doing interesting things when you devoted all of your time to her?  Have you stopped going to the gym thinking that there’s no reason to stay in shape now that you’ve snagged the girl?  Become the person she wants to win ex back.

Fourth, consider that the first thing you say to your ex after a break up may be the most important words ever to come out of your mouth.  The wrong words can change the balance of the relationship.  Don’t beg her to come back.  Don’t do anything to irritate her.  She probably still harbors good feelings for you and you don’t want to do anything that would change this.

Fifth, you can use the good memories you’ve built to your advantage.  Talk about the good times you had.  If she gave you a special sweater, wear it when you know she’s going to be around.  If you can, arrange to meet at a place that has meaning for you for a quick drink.

Sixth, try to mirror her words and body language.  If she uses an uncommon word, try to work it into the conversation yourself.  If she places her left hand on her cheek, do the same.  Don’t overdo it or be obvious, but this kind of “mirror imaging” gets you back in synch.

Seventh, let her know that you are thinking about her.  Go out of your way to send her a card on her birthday.  If you know she has a big review at work, send her an encouraging note.

By following these seven steps, you should be able to win ex back.  As long as you are still on friendly terms, you can use your friendship to become romantic once more.