Your questions about also includes dating advice

Friday, January 21st, 2011 at 12:05 am  
Leave your comment

Richard asks…

How can I do something for fun while waiting for divorce paper to come through?

This is entering my five months of bein’ seprated by soon-2-be ex husband and gettin’ better each time dealin’. I am wondering since my soon-2-be husband (which he is ninthteen by now) and my lawyer was tellin’ me that I can do whatever I want to do, he also including dating as well. So can you give me some advice or any thoughts?

Thanks
Really I am older than 19… I am seven years older than he is… ***was my frist love***
I know that… That is why I am tryin’ to explain to that **can I say a youngun** that… Being married is a long term commitment and I loved him and thought we were *can I say* “Meant to be” for each other…

So now I know it is a miskate and a lesson for me to learn from… Now since he left me it made me realize that it can hurt even worst…. Now I just want to have fun and try to move on until something else better comes along…

linda answers:

Date. Go nuts. Check your baggage at the terminal before embarking on a relationship though. Respect yourself though. This must be a difficult time for you and the last thing you’d want is to come into a meaningless relationship. Get to really know the other person. Need I say, get closer to God too. Go to church.

Sandra asks…

I need some dating advice please…?

I’ve asked out and been rejected by 13 girls this past half year… I planned on the 14th girl to be the last one I ask out, if it didn’t work out I just planned on not dating. So I meet this girl and really start crushing on her. I ask her out she accepts, we have a lot in common. I ask her to dinner and we have a good time and she kisses me. After a few more dates (which included holding hands and kissing) I ask her where we stood, she says she didn’t want to be in a realationship and only wanted to date. Saying that realationships were to stressing during tge school time ( which I didn’t really understand the difference, but I agreed, then she kissed me again)
Ever since then I’ve tried to text her every other day or so to see how her day was going (to show I was thinking of her/ cared) and I noticed that as time went on I got less detailed responses till I just started getting “I’m fine” responses that could not be expanded on. Now we’ve been dating for about a month and gone on maybe 4 or 5 dates. Last week she was too busy to hang out with me and had stuff to do, understandable. This week we had a date planned for Monday she cancelled saying she was just too tired and stressed and resheduled for Thursday.then she cancels completly tonight.

Today in class I was talking with her and say that next week is our one month aniversary of us dating. She pulls me outside and procceds to tell me that she had been so upity this last week because her grandmother passed last night and the funeral was on Friday. Also that this was getting to “realationship-y” , stuff like going out on a spisific day for an aniversary seemed to much like a realationship (I didn’t think so, I thought it what people who dated for a while like that did). I ask her if she means she just wanted me to back off and she says yeah. She likes “hanging out ” (I noticed she didn’t say dating) with me and would like to keep doing that. I ask her what I was doing that I should back up on, but she couldn’t really answer, saying she’s dated before and that i’m still learning or something along those lines. I told her to call me whenever she wanted to hang out again. Btw I hate the term…”hanging out”. Every time I ask a girl out on a date or show her I like her… BAM “Oh! You like me, I thought we were just hanging out” and it never goes well from there.

So that’s it… I don’t really know what to do… I might break up with her( I mean stop going out with her, can’t break up unless you’re in a realationship, stupid me) I know if I keep being around her my feelings will just increase and It could turn into love (it happened before) and it will really. Really hurt if she says she just wants to e friends.but I know for sure I won’t be texting or calling her again. She said she would call me, but experience and having feelings broken many times tells me she won’t. (every girl of the 13 has told me this, to this day, none of them have called me)

I’m so confused, this is the closest i’ve been in to anything even coming close to a realationship or just being more than friends with a girl. I don’t know what to do :(

linda answers:

Shes a slut BREAK UP WITH HER! its the best thing you can do!

Nancy asks…

Ladies only please: serious dating advice needed for a love-shy guy?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love-shy – this essentially describes my current situation with women. At age 30 and despite many professional successes and being told I’m a very nice and caring person by many people, I have never had a g/f or been in a relationship (ever).

To try to fix the relationship situation, and b/c repeated efforts at online dating just didn’t work for me, I signed up for a local brick-and-mortar matchmaking service that tries to match people looking for serious and long-term relationships, with the ultimate goal of matching people with persons that would make good potential partners for an eventual married relationship. Criteria used to match are based on compatibility, numerous scientific personality assessments, and other character assessments. I am guaranteed nearly 30 unique matches for potential dates, which the agency coordinates.

So the first match arrived by postal mail today, with the a summary of the match’s interests, profile, and phone number included. To set up the actual date, I have to call the match to ask her out and take it from there to see how things go. However, given the approach being used and my inexperience with relationships, what would you recommend actually talking about with the match on the first phone call? Also any recommendations on what would be a good first date idea? Thanks!

linda answers:

Well my advice is to just phone and when she answers, first of all introduce yourself and tell her you’d be interested in taking her out and getting to know her better.
If phone chat isn’t your strong point, then keep it short and simple. Just introduce yourself, make the arrangements, tell her it wasnice to have spoken to her and end the call.You can ask her questions and get to know her better on the date. If there are any awkward silences you could ask her a few questions like what specifically is she looking for? What kind of man is she interested in…etc.
As a date idea, I would ask her on the phone if she has anything in particular that she’d like to do. If she doesn’t (which I guarentee she won’t but it’s always nice to be asked ) then tell her you will set the date up and have it all planned. (which is always nice) Theres nothing worse than going on an unplanned date and taking an hour just to decide what to do.
Anyway, I don’t know you, so it’s hard to say what a good date idea would be for the two of you. Maybe go golfing together, then out to a nice dinner at a decent restaurant. Good luck! =)

Steven asks…

Dating Advice- should I get in contact?

Ok I met this guy on the internet and we have chatted and text everyday for 2 weeks now. He lives about 45 minutes away from me. separated with 3 children, currently living with family till finds somewhere of their own. I asked him out for a drink last week but as he has his children it was too short notice. We have lots of things in common including classical music, so I thought he may like to see a concert as we had chatted about it and knew we definitely wanted to meet each other. Since asking last Thursday I have not a reply to my invitation but have still continued to chat, however yesterday I have had no texts or contact at all, nor today so far.
Should I take this as ominous? as we have been in contact every day so far. I am over reacting. Should I get in contact? I did send a text yesterday saying that I hoped everything was OK but no reply?
Advice on these would be great- I don’t want to seem desperate as I really would like to meet him, but I also don’t want to be wasting my time and making a fool out of myself.

linda answers:

Investigate all before meeting. Late is better than remorse of losing

John asks…

Need advice on dating a seperated man that still needs a divorce?

I have been dating a married but seperated man for about a year and a half. He also has 2 kids, 5 and 2. I’ve had nothing but stress in this relationship and he is extremely lazy. he lets everything in his life go including his car, has a crappy job and can barely afford to take care of his kids. He has had to move back in with his mother. Can this relationship really work or am i wasting my time?

linda answers:

It sounds like you already know in your heart that this situation is problematic, which doesn’t mean that this man is a good or bad person. You should be selective with who you spend your time and how you spend your time. Sure, everyone has problems but right off the bat you know this guy is still married. There’s a reason why this relationship hasn’t been legally determined. You mention that you have had “nothing but stress in this relationship”–is this really how you envisioned a relationship? People who are married, especially with children, have a lot of ties and history. This situation would have more potential if he was at least divorced. Personally, I dated someone who was recently divorced. Generally speaking, guys don’t sort and process things the way women do (we want closure darnit!) so it could take awhile for this man to be able to really look at his life and figure out what he wants. Don’t just sit around waiting for him to get things together when Mr. Much-Closer-to-Perfect could be right around the corner.

Powered by Yahoo! Answers

Get an Ex Girlfriend Back With a Successful Battle Plan

Tuesday, July 14th, 2009 at 12:40 pm  
Leave your comment

John wanted to get an ex girlfriend back. John was a veteran of the war in Iraq and he knew that he had to make a battle plan to get an ex girlfriend back.

John’s ex, a woman named Macy, broke up with him because she had met someone else, in this case a poet. John knew that while Macy had an artistic streak, she wasn’t going to ultimately be happy with someone whose idea of a good time was rhyming couplets. In short, the poet wasn’t the kind of man that John was.

So, John set out a battle plan to get an ex girlfriend back. There were three prongs to his approach.

The first thing he did was to smooth out the rough edges on himself. He let his crew cut grow out and had a short stylish haircut. He also started reading some of the books Macy had mentioned in the past. He figured that to get an ex girlfriend back, he had to be the kind of boyfriend she wanted.

The next prong of attack was to show her that he was a virile man that other women wanted. He called up Sarah, a friend of Macy’s, and asked her if she wanted to go to dinner as a casual date. When she said yes, John texted Macy and asked where Sarah might like to go on a date.

Macy immediately called John and wanted to know why he was taking Sarah out. John told her that they were broken up and he was moving on. He had always thought Sarah was an interesting person and thought it might be a good time to get to know her. If Macy had any objections, maybe she should reconsider the break up.

Macy slammed down the phone, which John expected. But he had planted the idea with Macy that he was a desirable guy. This was all part of his get an ex girlfriend back strategy.

The third prong of attack was to use the date with Sarah to get information back to Macy. John was the perfect gentleman on his date with Sarah. He brought her a single rose when he picked her up. He took her to a nice restaurant. And, on the date, he talked about the fabulous books he had been reading lately.

Then, when he dropped her off, he gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek but didn’t go any further. The next day, he sent her a lovely bouquet and said “I had a really good time. I hope you did too.”

Sarah, of course, was on the phone with Macy immediately. She wanted to know why Macy had broken off a relationship with such a great guy.

Meanwhile, the luster had gone off the relationship with the Poet, and Macy was missing John a lot.

Macy called John a couple of days after his date with Sarah and wanted to know if the two of them could try starting up their relationship again.

That, my friends, is how to get an ex girlfriend back.

He Dumped Me – How Will I Ever Survive

Monday, July 6th, 2009 at 2:03 am  
Comments (2)

If you are saying “he dumped me.  How will I ever survive?” mere words in an article will not give you comfort.  It may help to know that while you’ve broken up, you are not a broken person.

When you’ve been in the position that “he dumped me,” you have two fears.  The first is that you will never recover from the pain.  The second is that no one will ever love you again.

Take heart, dear.  The fear is real.  The pain is real.  But, the situation exists in your head, not in the real world.  While one part of your life may be over, your life is not over.

You still have friends and family who care about you.  In fact, you now have more time to spend with them.  Many times, when you get into an involved romantic relationship, we lose touch with the other people who bring meaning to your life.  You now have a chance to reconnect with them.

In fact, sharing your loss with them may encourage them to share their break up experiences with you.  When you say, “he dumped me,” that allows them to be vulnerable about how they’ve been hurt.  You will begin to see that your pain is not unique.  You will also be able to see that other people have lived full and complete lives after a break up.

In addition to having more time for others who you care about, you will have more time to work on the issues in your life.  Many times, when you are in a relationship, the activities you care about get pushed aside if your boyfriend isn’t interested in them.  This is a good time to get re-involved in the things that matter to you.

If no particular activity comes to mind, then maybe you need to get a hobby!  No, really, when you say “he dumped me,” what you tell yourself is that you are worthless.  When you take up a new activity and invest in yourself, you prove to yourself that you matter.

There are all kinds of activities you can get involved with.  The best thing to do is to join a group, class, or workshop.  For instance, joining a hiking club will let you meet lots of people who enjoy the great outdoors.  A ballroom dancing class will introduce you to people who enjoy the finer things in life.  A writer’s workshop will be filled with creative types.

As you begin to re-engage with the world, you will lose the sense of desperation you felt when he dumped you.  You will make new friends who share a common interest.  And, you may even meet someone special to spend your time with.

The truth is that you will find someone to date again.  Your soul mate is out there.

Your ex may have done you a favor by breaking up with you because now you have a chance to find someone who fits you better.

And, always remember, the best revenge when “he dumped me” is moving on!