The Real Marriage Test

If you have ever thumbed through a magazine that regularly discusses relationships, whether it be a men’s or women’s magazine, chances are you have seen various types of quizzes. One of the more common quizzes is the marriage test. You answer a few silly questions, and then check your answers to get some supposedly deep insight into you relationship.

There is nothing wrong with such quizzes, and they can be a fun way to pass some while waiting for a doctor’s appointment. As long as you only take them for what they are–a source of entertainment–then there is no real harm in taking them. Besides, if you have ever taken them, you have probably noticed one or two things. First, the explanation of your score is so far off that it’s downright laughable. Second, the explanations are so general that they could apply to virtually any relationship you have ever been in; good or bad.

It is probably a safe assumption that no marriage test in a magazine has ever saved a marriage. They are fun and have their place, but fixing a relationship isn’t it; no matter what the maker of the quiz claims. However, there is a test you can use to help make your marriage stronger. You won’t find it any magazine, but not to worry, the questions of this marriage test are below.

Before you take the test, you need to decide which way works best for you. Will each of you take it separately with a pen and paper, or will you discuss the answers as you take the test? Either way, the main goal is to spark a good discussion about your marriage. This is important because good communication is one of the foundations of a healthy marriage.

1. How do you envision our future? This is a good question because it will show if you have drifted apart, or if you are still together in the things you want from the relationship. It’s far better to know where each of you stands instead of making assumptions. But, as long as you both seeing you being together, then it’s possible to work out the details.

2. What do you want from the marriage and life? The purpose of this question is to not only see what the ideal marriage means to each other, but to also see what the bigger life questions mean. Over the years people change, so you may be surprised to learn how your spouse answers this question, and vice-versa.

3. What’s the one thing you would change? By asking this you will get an idea of where the problem areas of your marriage are. Don’t take it personally, but be happy that you get a chance to learn where you can make improvements.

4. What could I do better? Be careful here. You need to make sure there is enough respect before you ask this question. The one answer you don’t want to hear is “nothing”. The truth is that none of us are perfect, and that means there is always room to do better. Your spouse should feel comfortable enough to tell you the truth, and you should feel confident enough to hear it.

How Do I Get Back With My Ex Husband?

Divorce.  Yuck! Now that you’ve gone through that hell on Earth you may be starting to think that the whole thing was a huge mistake.  If you want to know how to get back with your ex husband this article can help.

If you went to a therapist after your divorce and asked how to get back with your ex one of the first things they would probably do is ask you why you wanted to take them back.

That is a good question.  If you have had time to honestly evaluate your marriage and have come to the conclusion that you ended it too soon without trying hard enough to save it then that’s one thing.

But if you, like so many others, are just now facing the fear and uncertainty of being newly single and are starting to think being in a bad marriage is better than being alone you really need to  find some help to get over the feelings of loneliness and depression before you do something you’ll regret.

If you’re positive that getting back with your ex is the best thing for both of you, here are a  few simple steps you can follow:

1) Try to talk to him.  Not yell or nag, but talk.  And listen.  Try to honestly and maturely discuss why the relationship ended.  What misunderstandings took you so far away from one another.

If the two of you can honestly discuss how you’re feeling, without recriminations, than you might actually see that you’re not that far apart after all.  You have just been coming at it from opposite directions.

2) Take some time to honestly evaluate what part you played in the deterioration of your marriage.  No one is ever completely blameless.  What was your part and are you willing to change whatever behavior it was that contributed to the breakup?

3) Try to find resources that will help the two of you communicate.  So many couples just have a hard time expressing themselves and listening to their partners.  If you can find a way to work around this you might have a shot at not only getting back with your ex but also of making your marriage what you’d truly like it to be.

Divorce is one of the ugliest and most difficult things we can go through.  If you’ve come to the conclusion that yours was a mistake and you want to know how to  get back with your ex husband then following these tips will be a good first step in the right direction.