Help I Want My Ex Back – Good Ways To Make Up

Saturday, June 18th, 2011 at 6:45 pm  
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There is a time in just about every body’s life where they have the desire, and say “want my ex back” and at this time we are generally quite emotionally unstable! And it is hard to be able to see any sense in figuring out the best way to get back an ex. There is a ton of advice and help on the world wide web, and many people want to find the answers with a magic solution. Spending countless hours reading tips and tricks over and over again! There is a strategy that can HELP you, and goes like this:

Take Time Out! With all those emotions and the need to want your ex back, it is common that all you want to do is let them know how sorry you are! And how much you love them, please give us another chance? This is natural, but not the best way, you need to understand that the both of you are hurt and confused right now! And your ex will need time to calm, as much as you do…

Understand The Reason! To get back your ex and move forward with your relationship, it is wise to spend time evaluating the real reason or reason’s why you broke up! Write things down so that all the problems become clear, this will help you to not only be able to figure out what will need to be different! It will also help you to know how to touch the emotions of your ex to get them back.

Become Happy With You! This is far to overlooked, and obviously not the easiest at this moment of time. But it is practically a must ingredient to win a lover back, everybody wants to be happy in love! Before you attempt to make contact with your ex, you should work on your own personal happiness. The best way to do this is by getting out and just do things that you enjoy, even if that means having a date with someone else. But you may be into shopping, or fishing, hunting, dancing with the girls, whatever just do it! And get your confidence back, that was attractive to your ex…

Agree With Breaking Up! Humans always want what they can’t have, after some time apart and you are feeling good, the best way to get the friendship back from your ex, is to agree with the break up! Often with doing this simple task at the right time, is enough to make them want you back. But if a little more work is required, then giving them a “hand written letter” telling them how sorry you were, and how much you miss there friendship, should invite a response. Do not mention anything about how you want them back in that letter though.

From being someone who knows how it feels to breakup with an ex, and have that same determination and want! I fully understand how important it is to go for that friendship first. When my heart was screaming out “I want my ex wife back” I made a ton of mistakes, that caused more rejection, and I felt like things were falling part! Until I learned this same kind of advice, so focus on friendship and work threw the problems you had with your ex first, as this will increase your chances to be happy in the relationship…

I Miss My Ex Boyfriend – 2 Choices To Make

Friday, January 21st, 2011 at 9:24 pm  
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The break up happened six months ago and you are still saying, “I miss my ex“. You are also wondering how this is even possible. He hurt you badly by having that affair and when you broke it off you thought you would be done with him forever.

You now have two choices. You can try to get him back or learn effective ways to get over him and get on with your life.

If you choose to try to get him back then you have to ask yourself two very important questions. If he comes back will he just hurt me again? And, is he worth taking back? The answer to these questions are, if he hurt you once he will probably do it again. Especially if he does not think he did anything wrong in the first place. So the answer to the second question is fairly obvious, no, he is not worth taking back.

You need to figure out why you are still saying, “I miss my ex“. Is it because you still love him or do you miss the drama of the relationship? If you know deep in your heart that he was no good for you and you just miss the drama, my advice to you would be to get some counseling. Counseling is not a bad thing. Having been where you are I can tell you it was the best thing I have ever done in my life.

A good counselor can work with you to change the things in you that make you attract all the losers you have attracted your whole life. Maybe you do not think you are worthy enough to have someone decent in your life. A counselor can help you work through the things that have affected your self-esteem and help you see yourself in a different, more positive, light.

Once you start to feel more confident you will miss your ex less and less. You will start to realize that you are better off without him and that no one deserves to be hurt the way he hurt you. You can finally stop being a doormat and take charge of every aspect of your life, including your love life. Make an appointment at your salon and get a new hairstyle, go shopping with the girls and buy a new outfit or two. Start going to different clubs when you go out with the girls.

With all your new found confidence, you may just start to see that you attract a different type of man. There are men out there who like a confident woman, a woman who can seemingly do anything she puts her mind to. Just remember to not fall back into those same old tendencies of being a doormat when it comes to your relationship. Stay strong and confident and one day you will think back and wonder why the heck you hung on to that loser and almost embarrassed yourself by saying, “I miss my ex”, for so long after your break up.

Your questions about also includes dating advice

Friday, January 21st, 2011 at 12:05 am  
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Richard asks…

How can I do something for fun while waiting for divorce paper to come through?

This is entering my five months of bein’ seprated by soon-2-be ex husband and gettin’ better each time dealin’. I am wondering since my soon-2-be husband (which he is ninthteen by now) and my lawyer was tellin’ me that I can do whatever I want to do, he also including dating as well. So can you give me some advice or any thoughts?

Thanks
Really I am older than 19… I am seven years older than he is… ***was my frist love***
I know that… That is why I am tryin’ to explain to that **can I say a youngun** that… Being married is a long term commitment and I loved him and thought we were *can I say* “Meant to be” for each other…

So now I know it is a miskate and a lesson for me to learn from… Now since he left me it made me realize that it can hurt even worst…. Now I just want to have fun and try to move on until something else better comes along…

linda answers:

Date. Go nuts. Check your baggage at the terminal before embarking on a relationship though. Respect yourself though. This must be a difficult time for you and the last thing you’d want is to come into a meaningless relationship. Get to really know the other person. Need I say, get closer to God too. Go to church.

Sandra asks…

I need some dating advice please…?

I’ve asked out and been rejected by 13 girls this past half year… I planned on the 14th girl to be the last one I ask out, if it didn’t work out I just planned on not dating. So I meet this girl and really start crushing on her. I ask her out she accepts, we have a lot in common. I ask her to dinner and we have a good time and she kisses me. After a few more dates (which included holding hands and kissing) I ask her where we stood, she says she didn’t want to be in a realationship and only wanted to date. Saying that realationships were to stressing during tge school time ( which I didn’t really understand the difference, but I agreed, then she kissed me again)
Ever since then I’ve tried to text her every other day or so to see how her day was going (to show I was thinking of her/ cared) and I noticed that as time went on I got less detailed responses till I just started getting “I’m fine” responses that could not be expanded on. Now we’ve been dating for about a month and gone on maybe 4 or 5 dates. Last week she was too busy to hang out with me and had stuff to do, understandable. This week we had a date planned for Monday she cancelled saying she was just too tired and stressed and resheduled for Thursday.then she cancels completly tonight.

Today in class I was talking with her and say that next week is our one month aniversary of us dating. She pulls me outside and procceds to tell me that she had been so upity this last week because her grandmother passed last night and the funeral was on Friday. Also that this was getting to “realationship-y” , stuff like going out on a spisific day for an aniversary seemed to much like a realationship (I didn’t think so, I thought it what people who dated for a while like that did). I ask her if she means she just wanted me to back off and she says yeah. She likes “hanging out ” (I noticed she didn’t say dating) with me and would like to keep doing that. I ask her what I was doing that I should back up on, but she couldn’t really answer, saying she’s dated before and that i’m still learning or something along those lines. I told her to call me whenever she wanted to hang out again. Btw I hate the term…”hanging out”. Every time I ask a girl out on a date or show her I like her… BAM “Oh! You like me, I thought we were just hanging out” and it never goes well from there.

So that’s it… I don’t really know what to do… I might break up with her( I mean stop going out with her, can’t break up unless you’re in a realationship, stupid me) I know if I keep being around her my feelings will just increase and It could turn into love (it happened before) and it will really. Really hurt if she says she just wants to e friends.but I know for sure I won’t be texting or calling her again. She said she would call me, but experience and having feelings broken many times tells me she won’t. (every girl of the 13 has told me this, to this day, none of them have called me)

I’m so confused, this is the closest i’ve been in to anything even coming close to a realationship or just being more than friends with a girl. I don’t know what to do :(

linda answers:

Shes a slut BREAK UP WITH HER! its the best thing you can do!

Nancy asks…

Ladies only please: serious dating advice needed for a love-shy guy?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love-shy – this essentially describes my current situation with women. At age 30 and despite many professional successes and being told I’m a very nice and caring person by many people, I have never had a g/f or been in a relationship (ever).

To try to fix the relationship situation, and b/c repeated efforts at online dating just didn’t work for me, I signed up for a local brick-and-mortar matchmaking service that tries to match people looking for serious and long-term relationships, with the ultimate goal of matching people with persons that would make good potential partners for an eventual married relationship. Criteria used to match are based on compatibility, numerous scientific personality assessments, and other character assessments. I am guaranteed nearly 30 unique matches for potential dates, which the agency coordinates.

So the first match arrived by postal mail today, with the a summary of the match’s interests, profile, and phone number included. To set up the actual date, I have to call the match to ask her out and take it from there to see how things go. However, given the approach being used and my inexperience with relationships, what would you recommend actually talking about with the match on the first phone call? Also any recommendations on what would be a good first date idea? Thanks!

linda answers:

Well my advice is to just phone and when she answers, first of all introduce yourself and tell her you’d be interested in taking her out and getting to know her better.
If phone chat isn’t your strong point, then keep it short and simple. Just introduce yourself, make the arrangements, tell her it wasnice to have spoken to her and end the call.You can ask her questions and get to know her better on the date. If there are any awkward silences you could ask her a few questions like what specifically is she looking for? What kind of man is she interested in…etc.
As a date idea, I would ask her on the phone if she has anything in particular that she’d like to do. If she doesn’t (which I guarentee she won’t but it’s always nice to be asked ) then tell her you will set the date up and have it all planned. (which is always nice) Theres nothing worse than going on an unplanned date and taking an hour just to decide what to do.
Anyway, I don’t know you, so it’s hard to say what a good date idea would be for the two of you. Maybe go golfing together, then out to a nice dinner at a decent restaurant. Good luck! =)

Steven asks…

Dating Advice- should I get in contact?

Ok I met this guy on the internet and we have chatted and text everyday for 2 weeks now. He lives about 45 minutes away from me. separated with 3 children, currently living with family till finds somewhere of their own. I asked him out for a drink last week but as he has his children it was too short notice. We have lots of things in common including classical music, so I thought he may like to see a concert as we had chatted about it and knew we definitely wanted to meet each other. Since asking last Thursday I have not a reply to my invitation but have still continued to chat, however yesterday I have had no texts or contact at all, nor today so far.
Should I take this as ominous? as we have been in contact every day so far. I am over reacting. Should I get in contact? I did send a text yesterday saying that I hoped everything was OK but no reply?
Advice on these would be great- I don’t want to seem desperate as I really would like to meet him, but I also don’t want to be wasting my time and making a fool out of myself.

linda answers:

Investigate all before meeting. Late is better than remorse of losing

John asks…

Need advice on dating a seperated man that still needs a divorce?

I have been dating a married but seperated man for about a year and a half. He also has 2 kids, 5 and 2. I’ve had nothing but stress in this relationship and he is extremely lazy. he lets everything in his life go including his car, has a crappy job and can barely afford to take care of his kids. He has had to move back in with his mother. Can this relationship really work or am i wasting my time?

linda answers:

It sounds like you already know in your heart that this situation is problematic, which doesn’t mean that this man is a good or bad person. You should be selective with who you spend your time and how you spend your time. Sure, everyone has problems but right off the bat you know this guy is still married. There’s a reason why this relationship hasn’t been legally determined. You mention that you have had “nothing but stress in this relationship”–is this really how you envisioned a relationship? People who are married, especially with children, have a lot of ties and history. This situation would have more potential if he was at least divorced. Personally, I dated someone who was recently divorced. Generally speaking, guys don’t sort and process things the way women do (we want closure darnit!) so it could take awhile for this man to be able to really look at his life and figure out what he wants. Don’t just sit around waiting for him to get things together when Mr. Much-Closer-to-Perfect could be right around the corner.

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Your questions about dating advice tips and tricks

Tuesday, January 18th, 2011 at 6:05 pm  
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Mary asks…

How to get the guy? Date advice, Tips, tricks, Flirting Techniques?

Hey okay SOOOO lets cut to the chase

Met a guy, he had a HUGE party at his house, i went with some friends, I ended up dancing with him about 4 times. definitely flirty
then about a week later he texts me and asks if when he gets back in town, if i wanted to go see a movie with him. I said YES of course, so hes gone for 2 weeks without contact.
Before he left, I mentioned my friends big “sweet 16″ birthday party/dance and he asked if he should go, I said YES WITH ME! and he said hed love to, and thanks for inviting him. SO he just recently broke up with his longtime girlfriend (were both about 16/17 btw) and hes been majorly on the rebound but i am starting to think hes getting over it.

The movies will be my first REAL date. and I REALLY NEED TIPS and help on what to do, how to act, etc.

The party, I think I can handle. I just REALLY want to impress him. I want to show him im not your average skanky girl that is just all over him. I want him to know I am genuine.

HELP!?!?! guys or girls advice would be great!! THANKS SO MUCH!!!
also, Do i kiss him on the 1st date? or wait? what would be appropriate? I will probly WANT to kiss him, but I dont want to mess it up and make him think im an easy girl cause I am SOOO totally not.

THANKS AGAIN…

linda answers:

Very easy situation. Though personally, I don’t think you should go to the movies with him for a first date. I think you should ask him to take somewhere else where you could really bond and talk to each other. When you’re at the movies, you obviously can’t talk to each other, so it really much of a first date. Maybe movie dates in the future, but try going to the beach or what not as a first. The park is even better than a movie.

But here are the tips you’ve asked for.

#1: Don’t be negative about dating. Why should a man pursue someone who isn’t happy? It’s ineffective manhandling to dump your dating disappointments on bachelor No. 3.

Romance Rule: Be a romantic challenge, not a mental health challenge.

#2: Don’t get tipsy. Always maintain enough sobriety to assess your date’s character. Practice restraint, and don’t have more than a drink or two when you’re out on a first date. Otherwise, how in the world can you possibly observe him and decide if he’s remotely right for you?

Romantic Rule: Always stay sober enough to remember how naughty you were the night before!

#3: Don’t talk badly about your exes. I don’t care if he cheated on you with your sister, don’t recite a laundry list of grievances about your exes. This will only make you sound unavailable at best, or worse, wounded.

Romantic Rule: We all have baggage. Keep it in the closet on first dates.

#4: Don’t spook your suitor. Now is not the time to point out your physical flaws. Only bring these complaints to people who can actually do something about them, and not to men who will now be forced to lie to you if they possess good manners.

Romantic Rule: Confidence is sexy! Sometimes, thoughts are for the inside.

#5: Don’t talk about your personal pet peeves. Although your therapist might get butterflies inside when you talk about how traumatized you are by the staggering number of germs that thrive in public restrooms, the typical male will be horrified. You’ll have violated the sacred air space of “romantic quality time” and these little monologues of strange pain will be as off-putting as if you started sorting unwashed laundry in a restaurant.

Romantic Rule: You already know all about you. Keep your problems to yourself and get to know him.

#6: Don’t chase your date. Never deprive a man of the thrill of the chase. Besides, it’s so much fun being caught! A woman can always initiate a first tea date, but after that, it’s up to a man to decide whether he wants to pursue you. Entice men, play with them, and then release them! Allow men to initiate and take the lead in moving your relationship forward.

Romantic Rule: When men chase you, they’re much less likely to fly away.

#7: Don’t keep squawking.

“Don’t feel pressured to try to fill up every second with meaningless chatter.”

If the conversation falls silent for a moment, don’t panic, just let it happen. Natural pauses are sexy, and body language can be so much more powerful than words. Slowly smile at him and breathe. You may be surprised when he blurts out in the middle of a deliciously pregnant pause, “Come here and kiss me!”

Romantic Rule: Remember, sometimes less conversation really is more.

#8: Learn how to leave. Anyone can be pleasant when they’re enjoying themselves, but the true test of character is how one behaves when terribly bored, or worse, treated shabbily. There’s nothing to be gained by suffering through a terrible date, so if you’re having an awful time, depart quickly and gracefully, without being rude. When you’re itching to leave, say: “Thank you so much for meeting me. I think it’s time for me to go on home, Jerome. (Smile) Take care.” Extend your hand for a quick shake, swiftly turn on your heel and depart.

Steven asks…

Dating tips needed!?

Ok so i’ve added a girl i met on facebook, same city, etc etc. I really like her, we just met okay and i would like to meet her in real life, what advice, tips, tricks would you give me to take it to that point? Please give me good tips i really like her and want to meet her. I just met her so don’t want to be too sudden!

linda answers:

Ask her if she WANTS to meet at the park, or someplace similar to that, someplace private yet still public and safe sounding. Most girls would like to feel like they’re safe and protected, its in their evolutionary genetic code.
This may sound stupid but find out what sign she is and go from there too. For example, if she is a Cancer then ask to take her out to eat because cancers love to eat.

Thomas asks…

need some advice on seeing my long distance boyfriend this weekend and i have a fever blister?

I am leaving friday to see my long distance boyfriend this weekend. I have a fever blister the size of Texas on my lip and because of the severity of this blister I am very insecure about it. My bf and i have been dating for almost 5 months now and he has not seen me with a blister before. I am very nervous and afraid that he will be grossed out and turned off. Does anyone have any advice, tips or tricks for me?

linda answers:

>Avoid acidic and salty foods. Foods such as chocolates, peanuts, grains, peas, seeds, oatmeal and whole-wheat are high in arginine, therefore they should be restricted. Avoid tea and coffee. Eat vitamin rich diet. Your diet must include vitamin A, C and E. Zinc and iron are also necessary. Include garlic in your diet. Eat fresh food with high antioxidants and high complex carbohydrates. Avoid processed food. Eat lots of fruits and green leafy vegetables.

> http://www.healthguidance.org/entry/2403/1/Home-Remedies-For-Fever-Blisters.html

Mandy asks…

Tips for a new college student, do you have any?

I’m going off to college this fall. I’m so nervous and excited. Do you have any tips, tricks or advice you really wished you knew? It could be about anything. Scholarships, money, avoiding the freshman 15, dating, school work and test prep. What do you think is the MOST important thing for someone to know when they go to college?

linda answers:

BE OPEN MINDED! College is a culture shock. This is the first time you are completely on your own so you have to be responsible. No matter what anyone else says, academics always come first. If you work hard you play hard. You will meet so many different people and experience new situations so whatever comfort zone you had in high school will be challenged. Be your own person. And don’t be nervous. Everyone is in the same situation as you so don’t feel like you’re the only one. Really pay attention to the syllabus because each professor has a different teaching style. And never feel pressured into doing something you don’t want to do. Best of luck! You will do great!

George asks…

I’m getting married and need some tips?

Hi! well like my title says, I’m getting married next fall and am just starting the planning process. We have yet to pick and exact date, but we’ve pretty much decided on aug of 2011. We’re trying to have a classy, elegant wedding while spending as little as we can. So, I’m more or less asking for any tips, tricks, advice or anything else anyone would like to give me. Thanks!
Thanks, I’ll definitely check that website out!
Thanks Dev =0)

linda answers:

Hi Simi, congrats! You are right on track with picking out your month, but don’t choose a day yet! Find the venue you want, and choose a day based on their availability. Most places offer discounts on Sunday weddings or weekday weddings (weekdays are hard for guests to do).

Definitely sign up with theknot.com. Keep an eye on their checklist, budgeter, and clearance shop!

First find your reception hall. Pick your colors after (so they don’t clash), and search for a place to have the ceremony nearby (if you aren’t going to do it all at one location. It IS typically cheaper to do it all together). Look into some hotels, some of the less “fancy” chains like Holiday Inn might surprise you with how nice their event spaces are (in some cases).

Try to pick a place that does wedding packages, not only will this save you a ton of effort, but it can sometimes save money. A reception hall will contract with the same vendors each time, which means they get discounts. Many times, it is cheaper to book a wedding package with a cake and centerpieces included than to buy them separately yourself, but do the math and figure it out.

Good luck!

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Please Help Me Get My Ex Girlfriend Back

Sunday, April 18th, 2010 at 9:12 am  
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How many times do men ask their friends how do I get my ex girlfriend back?  Honestly, I thought it was a woman’s prerogative to change her mind.  Some men just don’t know when they are onto a good thing and their reasons for ending relationships border on the ridiculous.

My male friends have finished with girls for:

1) wearing the wrong type of shoes!
2) Her mother
3) The new barmaid at his favorite bar smiled at him.

Now ok I know that a pretty face can turn any man’s head and there is the dreaded notion that a woman may turn into her mother but come on guys – the wrong type of shoes?  If women didn’t date men because of the clothes they were wearing the human race would have died out long ago.  Behind every well dressed man is a good woman- in early life his mother and later his wife!

I always tell my men friends that they need to make a list before they break up with their partners.  On one side of the list, you put her good points.  Do you find her interesting? Does she look after you?  Does she cook for you?  Does she laugh at your jokes?  Are you attracted to her?

On the other side of the list, they can put the things that wind them up.  Ok she may nag at little too much but then if you put the toilet seat down she might stop.  She may not want more than a cuddle every evening but five times a week doesn’t mean that she isn’t caring enough.

Writing the good and bad points of your life together down on paper may seem like a cold approach but it is a very practical way of seeing what a great relationship you do/did have. You need to compare the two lists and decide if you should be breaking up with this woman. If you are doing it after the event, it also helps to clarify if you made the right decision to finish the relationship. Sometimes we regret breaking up as we end up feeling lonely.  But loneliness is not a reason to get back together.

If you have dumped the lady in your life but now know it was the wrong decision you need to act fast.  Great life partners do not grow on trees.  She has shown that she will put up with you in all your glory – how many women would be mad enough to do that?

Take a leaf out Richard Gere’s book and put some romance back into her life.  Send her flowers – not a bunch of red roses but some of her favorites.  Send her a handwritten letter telling her how much you love her and miss her.  Book her favorite restaurant and treat her to a night out.  In short, you need to treat her just like the princess you believe her to be and assuming you are not a complete disgrace, you won’t have ask how to get my ex girlfriend back.