Finished with your guy?  Want to desperately get guy back?  Then you’re going to have to use a strategy that will help you get him back and not cause him to head for the hills!

Firstly remember that just because you want him back it doesn’t mean that he wants to come back.  If you’ve broken up before and your relationship has become a breakup/makeup merry go round, pretty soon one or both of you will want to one day get off that particular ride for good.  So, there is a chance that he might have reached this point, no matter what you now feel and want.

Secondly to get guy back you’re really going to have to look at the relationship as a whole, not just the parts you’re comfortable looking at, because only then can you begin to find out what’s causing the problems.

If you need outside third party help to scrutinize your relationship, then it’s always worthwhile getting that help.  If you have good and honest friends who will tell you what you need to hear, as opposed to what you want to hear, then talk to them.

You should also understand that to pull this off you’re going to have to stop acting on whim and emotion and start working a well thought out proven plan.  This is probably the most crucial step you will need to take, so get yourself under control.  Sit down and plan to do whatever it takes to stop yourself running around making things worse – stop calling him, texting him and trying to force him to see you because begging and pleading won’t work.

Instead, occupy yourself by getting out and meeting new people, take a class, get fit, whatever it takes to help you re-focus and approach the whole situation from a point of clarity and calmness, is what you need to do.

Especially take the time to look at why you want to get guy back, because to be honest, too many people find themselves back with their exs only to discover a few weeks down the line that they have made a huge mistake.  So just because you want to get guy back right now, ask yourself if you really should?

If you’ve come to the conclusion that getting this guy back is the right move for you, then once you have yourself under control and you’ve thought things through, then your next move is to call and talk to him.

Understand that he may very well need more time before he is ready to speak to you never mind, entertain the idea of rekindling your relationship.  Your goal, if this happens, is not to force the situation.  Instead, tell him that you understand completely and then tell him you will give him more time to think things through.  Leave it at that and continue living your life and keeping yourself busy.

How do you get guy back?  How do you convince him that what the two of you had together was special?  This is your “get guy back” gal’s guide to making up.

First of all, you have to recognize that whatever happened, you were both at fault.  If you cheated, he wasn’t giving you what you needed so you looked elsewhere.  If he cheated, you were the one not giving what he needed.  Yes, the cheater is morally culpable for the cheating.  The moral responsibility does not lie with the person who was cheated upon.  But the fault lies in both party’s laps.

Given that, it is important to forgive and forget.  True forgiveness means that you let go of all of the anger related to the incident.  You never bring it up again.  You never let it cloud your relationship.  If you cannot do this, you won’t get guy back for any period of time.

If you were the person at fault, apologize – and mean it.  Too many times, after people say “I’m sorry,” there’s an “Oops I did it again,” moment.  You’re not Britney Spears.  It’s not cute.  When you say you are sorry, you have to commit to changing.  Otherwise, you don’t mean it and you won’t get guy back.

Be prepared to chase him a little bit.  This doesn’t mean sending him hundreds of text messages or stalking him, but you have got to show him that you are still interested if you want to get guy back.  You can’t expect him to come running back just because you have sent out some modest signals that you are ready to re-start the relationship.  Put your ego in check and put your heart on the line.

You may have to settle for something less than you wanted.  It may be that he is only ready to be friends when you want a full fledged boyfriend.  It may take time to rebuild the trust.  If this is the case, you need to give him the space he needs to get to know you again.  Accept that you have to take what he is offering right now if you want to eventually get guy back.

Finally, you have to know when to give up on the get guy back strategy.  Sometimes, you just have to move on.  If your boyfriend is unable to forgive you, you are in a position where the best thing you can do is move on and enter into new relationships.  While this will break your heart right now, it may be the best thing that could have happened to you.  Whatever went wrong in this relationship, your soul mate is still out there.  Get guy back may stop you from meeting him!

Do you want to get guy back following a bad or painful breakup? The first thing that you need to know when attempting to get guy back following a bad breakup is what you should NOT be doing.

• First and foremost, if you want to get guy back then you should not be calling him over and over. You should not be trying to communicate with him constantly by any means, phone, e-mail or text.
• Do not do anything that you feel will make him feel suffocated if you want to get guy back following a break up. If he feels suffocated, then he will want his space more than ever before and this will cause even more problems following the break up.
• If you are serious about learning how to get guy back, you need to keep from trying to make him jealous. Do not go off and do something that is stupid, such as going out on a date with his friend or flirting with someone he knows in order to make him jealous. Learning how to get guy back means knowing what not to do in order to make yourself look stupid during your down time.

Read the rest of this entry