Making The Most Of A Bad Break Up

It is an awful feeling when your relationship ends so how do you deal with a bad break up? You shouldn’t just go on with life and pretend that everything is ok. It’s not healthy to deny what you are feeling and keep those feelings bottled up. It is fine to let yourself feel the hurt, in fact it is necessary for you to move on with your life.

You should handle your feelings in a healthy way. If you are feeling anger, it is not a good idea to go and threaten or hurt your ex because of your anger. There are better ways to handle your feelings.

It will take time to get over your ex and for the feelings of hurt and anger to go away. You will be able to move on faster if you use the time constructively and use it as a learning experience in relationship skills. This will be a much healthier way for you to deal with the bad break up and will also benefit you in future relationships.

Take a few days to feel your pain, but do put a time limit on it. You don’t want to fall into a depression because you can’t get over the hurt and pain that you are feeling. You will feel anger at some point and there are some ways to let that anger out without hurting anyone.

If you are really angry with your ex then take a picture of them and put it on the wall. Buy some marshmallows and use the marshmallows as darts to throw at the picture. Throw the marshmallows as hard as you can and while you throw them yell at your ex and tell him/her exactly what you think and what you are feeling. Let it all out! It might sound silly to throw marshmallows at a picture but it really is a great way to get out your anger and frustrations. You may even find yourself laughing and much happier when you have finished.

If you find yourself laughing after the marshmallow challenge then you know that your troubles aren’t that bad and you will get past them. You will realize that you will survive and that you can handle what you are going through. Breaking up is not the end of the world, but a new beginning. If the relationship has broken up then chances are you just aren’t meant to be together and now you can move on and find the real love of your life.

Don’t rush out and start dating straight away though or you may find yourself in another bad relationship because it is a rebound relationship. Take some time to enjoy life being single and enjoy who you are for yourself and not for someone else. You will be much stronger now that you have used this bad break up as a learning experience and have improved your own self esteem and confidence. Your future relationships will be much stronger and happier.

I’m sorry.  If you’re reading this you must be having a very rough time in your relationship.  I know how difficult that can be.  If you are asking, ‘How can I save our relationship?” I do have some tips that might be able to make a difference for you and your partner.

There are a few things you have to consider very carefully and honestly first.  You have to decide why you want to save your relationship.  That might sound like a dumb comment to make but sometimes we cling to things that we should just let go.  We cling for the wrong reasons such as fear of being alone.  Before you invest too much time and emotion in trying to save your relationship first make sure that it should be saved.

Now that you’ve done your honest soul searching and  you’ve decided that your relationship is worth saving here are a few tips you can follow which should help:

1) It’s not all about you.  So often in relationships one person tends to carry more of the burden.  They are the ‘fixer’.  They are the ones who carry most of the emotional baggage.  If that person is you than you have to realize that you can’t do it all.  If your relationship is going to be saved your partner has to be able, and willing, to meet you halfway.

2) Try to communicate without condemning or criticizing.  When a relationship starts to falter there are a lot of hurt feelings and frustrations from both parties.  These hurts can build up into a huge wall of resentment.  That wall is very tough to tear down.  It will take a lot of time, patience, and open communication.

If the two of you aren’t good at communicating you might need to find resources such as a book or counseling, that can help you work on your communication skills.

3) Own it.  If you’ve screwed up you need to be a mature adult and admit your mistake and apologize for it.  This is key.  Remember in step 2 when I talked about resentments building up? You can do a lot to ease those resentments if you just own up to your mistakes and offer a sincere apology for the hurt you may have caused.  To someone who loves you and wants to make things work this will be a very sweet sound.

Follow these 3 steps and you will be well on  your way to answering the question ” how can i save our relationship?”.  Remember, the problems didn’t spring up overnight and they’re not going to go away overnight either.  But if the two of you are willing to work together you can get back the loving, fulfilling relationship you both want.