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When wondering how to get back an ex, we often forget that we are working from a position of strength.  If you are trying to convince a new potential partner to notice you, you may have to try various different tricks to gain their attention.  You don’t know them so you don’t know which buttons to press.

But when dealing with your ex, you know exactly what they like and don’t like. You know which clothes they prefer you to wear, what scent or cologne, where they hang out and what they like doing in their spare time. You know her favorite flowers or what team he supports. You know this person intimately and you can use this knowledge to your advantage.  OK, you also have the disadvantage of the fact that you have already broken up once but that is not the end of the world. We all make mistakes and thankfully most can be rectified.

So don’t despair, you have a lot of things going for you.  Millions of couples the world over break up and get back together again and so can you.  You just need to know how to approach your ex-partner and convince them that you deserve another chance.   Honest communication is the best policy.  Don’t be tempted to play games, you are not a child and this is not the playground.  Some people will tell you that you should try and make your ex jealous.  But trying to hurt anyone doesn’t show any respect for that person’s feelings never mind those of the person you are using.

Unfortunately how to have a successful relationship is not a subject taught in school.  Some of us are lucky to have parents who are still together and have shown us by their example, what a happy partnership is.  But all too often this is not enough.  Go into any bookshop and you will see shelves of books on relationships.  How to make them better, how to make them work, how to meet the right man or woman, how to keep them once you meet them etc.  You think of any question you may have had about your relationship and there is a probably a book written to answer it.

But reading loads of books won’t turn you into a relationship expert overnight. You need to read the right material. You need to know that other people have found these books useful and been successful in attracting their ex back into their lives.

You want a course that doesn’t promise the earth but will help you to resolve your differences with your ex and enable you to become a happy couple once again.  Sometimes these books will claim to make you totally irresistible to the other sex.  But this isn’t what you want.  There is only one person you are interested in getting back.  So, it really is up to you.  You can stay home and be miserable wondering how to get back an ex or you can be constructive and take positive steps and hopefully soon you will be back in the arms of your lover once more.

So you want to know how to keep a woman happy?  It is not easy to do but once you master it, you will win the heart of your woman forever.  So it is worth a try right?

A Woman sometimes just needs to talk.  Men are programmed to find solutions to every problem but sometimes we just want you to listen to us.  We don’t want you to look after us or solve every issue we raise but just to listen.

Yes I know she can spend two hours on the phone to a friend that she is meeting that afternoon anyway.  It goes back to the days of cavemen. Whilst the men were out hunting, the women were at home where their ability to bond with others was directly proportionate to their chances of survival. They depended on the other women to look after them and their families should they fall sick. Childbirth in those days often resulted in a death sentence for these women.

Women like to go to the toilets in twos and threes.  It is just a girl thing and the sooner you come to accept it the better.  Don’t get paranoid, we are not going to discuss you in detail – that will happen tomorrow.

Buy your lady flowers. But rather than buying her a bunch of roses, send her one of her favorite flowers every so often. This way she will know that you are thinking of her rather than just making a grand gesture.

Little things mean a lot to most women.  So regardless of the fact that you are working 60 plus hours per week to pay your mortgage or put the kids through school, always find time to ring her at least twice a day. Ring to say that you miss her and then ring her back later on to tell her what time you expect to be home.

Say thank you when she does something ordinary.  Everyone including women like to be appreciated so if you come home and it is obvious she has cleaned the bathroom, notice it and make an effort to keep it clean.  That means helping your towel to find its way off the bathroom floor.

If your woman has had a hard day at the office, run her a hot bath and hand her a glass of chilled wine whilst you put the kids to bed and prepare dinner.   Don’t ruin it by expecting sexual favors in return.  In a recent survey, when women were asked what would make them happy, one of the most common answers was to be kissed without being groped!

Surprise her with a note under her pillow telling her how much you love her or appreciate her.  Ok she will probably assume you have done something wrong and wonder if you are feeling guilty but underneath she will be pleased.

Making a woman happy involves doing the little things in life just that little bit more.

Do you want to win love back?  The key is allowing your ex to have a little bit of time to figure out what they want from the relationship.  Tim and Rhonda learned this from Tim’s friend Joe.

Rhonda stormed out of Tim’s apartment one day saying she never wanted to see him again.  Tim was stunned.  All he could think about was how to win love back.

He called his buddy Joe and asked whether he should send flowers or candy.

“Neither,” Joe said.  “And don’t call, email, or text her either.”

Tim was stunned by this advice.  He wanted to win love back right away before Rhonda had a chance to “look around” and find someone better.

But Joe told Tim that giving Rhonda the space to “look around” was just what she needed.  There was a small chance that she would go forever, but the probability was that she would settle down and come back to him.  She must come to the conclusion that their relationship was special on her own terms.

Further, Joe advised, it would be bad if Tim looked too desperate.  This gave Rhonda the upper hand in many ways.  It would lead to further grand gestures in the future.  If he wanted to get the relationship back on track, Tim needed to give Rhonda space.

Tim and Rhonda both had a lot invested in the relationship.  They had been together 18 months and had even talked about marriage.  This was why it was such a blow to Tim when Rhonda walked out.

But Tim took Joe’s advice, as painful as it was, and waited for Rhonda to call.  It took her four days, but she finally contacted him.

The first thing she wanted to know was “why didn’t you call me?”  He told her “I was waiting for you to call.  I knew you needed space.”

He was right, and she knew it.  She actually appreciated the fact that he hadn’t called.  She knew that he had found a way to win love back.

As they talked about hwere their relationship had been and how to get it back on track, they discovered that one of the problems was that they had been crowding one another.  The thought of getting married had been suffocating.

So, they decided to back off.  They would still see each other exclusively, but they would make more time for friends and solo activities.  They wouldn’t talk about marriage again for six months.

Tim restrained himself from pursuing Rhonda when she needed space.  This allowed her to reevaluate her relationship with him on her own terms.

She initially thought that he would call her all the time.  She was actually surprised that he didn’t.  But, because he refrained from contacting her, she was able to see what her life was like without him in it.  And, it wasn’t as pleasant as she had imagined it would be.

So, if you’re determined to win love back, keep in mind that sometime what is needed is a little space.

Do you know how to win your ex girlfriend back?  Let’s look at the situation with Tom and Sheri.

Shari was busy one night and Tom went to a party alone.  It was stupid, but he started to make out with one of Shari’s friends there.  Shari, of course, heard about it and had a dramatic confrontation with Tom.

“I never want to see you again,” se said.  “I am so out of here.”

Tom’s devastated.  He knows he was wrong, but he wants to know how to win his ex girlfriend back.  He misses Shari.

The first thing Tom needs to do is sincerely apologize.  This is not just a quietly mumbled “I’m sorry” either.  He needs to realize what he did wrong, figure out why he did it, decide whether he will ever do it again, and most importantly, communicate all of this honestly to Shari.

At this point, Tom should stop.  The ball is now in Shari’s court.

Tom shouldn’t call Shari.  He shouldn’t email, text, or comment on her wall.  He shouldn’t send flowers or candy.

What he should do is let her make the next move.  She is 100 percent in control here.  If Tom goes out to score, he’s going to lose her.  If he wants to know how to win ex girlfriend back, he needs to be planning for the next step not focusing on the present.

At some point, Shari will initiate contact.  There are many pretexts for doing this.  For instance, she may be mad and want to exchange all personal property.  Or, she could be missing him and just want to talk.

At this point, Tom needs to make his move.  He needs to show her that he’s the one.

He should put the incident behind him.  Tom should only bring up what happened if she does first.

Otherwise, he should talk about the positive memories that they have had together.  He should bring up specific incidents that were special for the two of them.

For instance, he could say, “I was walking around downtown and I saw the restaurant we went to on our first date and I thought of you.”

If he keeps it casual, he can talk about missing her.  “I miss the way you laugh at my corny jokes,” is a good line.  Telling her that he can’t imagine life without her is a bad one.

If she’s receptive, and she probably will be (why else is she calling?) Tom should suggest a casual get together.  For instance, he should ask her to meet him for coffee or something similar.  A half hour mini-date might get things back on track for them.

If he plays it right, he will have found the right solution to the how to win your ex girlfriend back dilemma.