How To Get Your Ex Back » Ending a Relationship

Ending A Relationship Is A Challenge

admin — Thu, 27 Jan 2011 10:49:11 +0000

Ending a relationship is a challenge. It’s so easy to second guess yourself and wonder if you’re making a horrible mistake. Then comes the guilt you’ll feel by causing someone you used to love, and maybe still do, all that pain. Where should you have ‘the talk’? When? What will you say? What should you make sure not to say? It’s never easy to break up, but with some forethought you can lessen the pain and awkwardness a little bit.

Do yourself a favor and think long and hard about it before you actually do it. It’s very hard, sometimes impossible, to get back with someone after a breakup so you want to make sure that you’re sure this is the best thing to do…before you do it. Don’t go off in a huff because the two of you just had a fight. You don’t want to have to swallow your pride and eat your words if you’ve jumped the gun and then had a change of heart.

Of course, if you’re being abused, don’t allow yourself to be talked out of it. This is the one time that you have got to stand your ground. Other than that, though, take your time while making your decision, no matter what you may think, the grass isn’t greener on the other side of the fence. Make sure you’re really ready for all that will happen after the breakup. Don’t expect that you’ll go out and start dating everyone within a 50 mile radius. It’s easy to be a little bored in a relationship and convince yourself that you can do better, but can you? Really? You better be sure.

If after all this soul searching you’re still convinced that a breakup is the best way to go, than plan out the best way to go about it. Even though you want out of the relationship that’s no reason to be mean and callous to your soon- to- be ex. Try to figure out the kindest and gentlest way to end the relationship. Oh, and don’t be a schmuck and breakup with someone right before a major holiday or their birthday. You’ve waited this long you can wait a few days more. No need to tarnish their big day with memories of a painful breakup.

When it comes time to talk to them, pick a quiet place and take your time. Don’t lie to them, be as honest as possible (though if you’re already seeing someone else you may want to spare them that detail) but don’t back down. You’ve given this a lot of thought and you’re sure this is the right thing to do, so do it. They may cry, threaten and plead but you have to stand firm otherwise you’ ll just be repeating the whole scene in a few days or weeks, and who wants to go through that?

Once you’ve done it and the two of you are through, don’t give into temptation and call them, and don’t take their calls if they call you either. You both have to move on and since you’re the one who ended the relationship it’s up to you to be the ‘strong’ one and cut off all contact. You may be tempted to talk to them, especially if the whole dating everyone within 50 miles thing hasn’t worked out quite the way you planned, but don’t. Make a clean break.

You can’t take away all the pain and make things better for your ex when it comes to ending a relationship, but you can handle the situation with thought and compassion to make things as easy as possible. And you should, because karma can be a witch.

Ending A Relationship Is A Challenge is a post from: Magic of Making Up - Advice On How To Get Your Ex Back

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Your questions about relationship advice

Linda Williams — Thu, 20 Jan 2011 22:05:23 +0000

Helen asks…

relationship Advice!!!?

so i had a boyfriend for about 3 weeks. No secret.
Today, we had a fight cause i wouldn’t tell him what i was whispering into my friends ear(just a girl friend).
He just gets up, says, “Fine. Dont tell me.”
then walks a few blocks to his house till my friends caught up to him and convinces him to come back. i was outside just chilling, till i see my 2 best friends talking and laughing with him.
I was mad so i didn’t talk to him at all for hours. He didn’t say a word to me also.

Now, I dont know what i should do. I do want to end our relationship before something like this happens again, or talk to him tomorrow when i see him at school and work things out. I mean you DO learn from your mistakes. But hes just so rude.
Any advice…

linda answers:

how old are you? if you’re considering ending a relationship over this shiit then you must be pretty young
anyways see him at school, work things out, say sorry or ask him to apologize and live happily ever after or whatever

Maria asks…

What is the best piece of relationship advice you can give to someone?

This is just a fun question. If there was one piece of relationship advice you could share with someone, regardless of the situation that they are in, what would it me?

Mine would be that if you are thinking of ending a relationship, and you can’t see yourself breathing a sigh of relief and being happy over it all being over, there might be something left there to fight for.

linda answers:

A piece of advice? “Stay single in the first place. Relationships are SO not worth it/overrated”.

Lisa asks…

Advice needed! How do you tell how fast to pace a relationship?

I know people say that it is all up to you, that you should do what you feel comfortable with. However, parents, peers, religion, and even hormones play a role in how fast to pace a relationship. With all those contributing factors, how do you tell what you SHOULD feel comfortable with? Please, any websites that help with relationship advice for young adults, and/or personal opinion and experience would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

linda answers:

You should check out a new site I found:

adviceguru4u.webs.com

It’s an advice site, where you can ask advice about anything.
The Advice Guru is very good, and the site is worth checking out. The Advice Guru can help you with your situation. Hope this helps!

Paul asks…

Relationship ADvice?

Ok i am dating this wonderful women who i met last year in class. We have been dating for 1 year and 2 months. I found out she likes this other guy? How should i confront her about this? should i be worried about htis? is this a normal thing? Will this affect our Relationship?

linda answers:

It’s normal for women to look at other guys and find them attractive- just like men do with other women. But if she actually wants to be with another guy or really likes him than something is wrong. It will end up affecting your relationship because she likes something about this other guy that you must not have. She will always compare you to him in her head. I’m not trying to sound mean- but if she likes another guy than she probably wants to try new things- as in new men. I would suggest that you find out if she likes him as a friend or as someone she could date. If you didn’t hear it from her- it may just be a rumor. Ask her and than make a decision if you want to be with someone that wants to be with other guys. Good luck!

Ken asks…

Relationship ADVICE!!?

I dated a guy and we dated for about and year and were totally extremely in love. But at the beginning of this year we had a mutual break up. A few weeks later I had a new boyfriend (I know this makes me sound kind of like a slut but I liked this guy for awhile and I thought I was over the other guy). Both of these guys are best friends by the way. Anyhow, now I’ve been going out with this guy for about 3 months. But I feel so different! I don’t like how I am feeling about this relationship I like him so much but it just isn’t the same as my last relationship and I am missing my ex- boyfriend even more. My ex-boyfriend now is trying to have a relationship with one of my best friends and it seems like he is purposely flaunting it in my face. I think he still has feelings for me because he always asks about my new relationship and asks how far we have gone, he throws the girl he likes in my face and today he just asked me to kiss him. I don’t know inside guys brains but he acts like he likes me. I just don’t want to get hurt again and the guy I am dating I like him so much! But I just miss my ex so much and the memories we had together. What should I do?

I could…
A.) Stay with my boyfriend now and act like everything is perfect
B.)Tell my boyfriend I still have feelings for my ex but I want to be with him still.
C.)Tell him I can’t be with him anymore, and tell my ex how I feel.
D.)You tell me!

linda answers:

You’re are no married to either one of these guys, you should be honest to your current boyfriend and let him know you still have feelings for you ex-boyfriend, don’t be and such a rush of having to being tried down to one person, or dating on person, because if you give all of yourself to your current boyfriend and he brakes up with you, you will be stuck because you didn’t leave your options open, If your current boyfriend is mature than he would understand, where you are coming from, guys had been playing the field for years, why not do the same. do tie yourself down so fast, get to know this new guy more instead of committing to be with him, and it doesn’t make you sound like a slut, you have the right to evaluate who you want to be with, just as guys do, we really need to let go of the stereotype, that women are sluts if they choose to date more than one man, who cares what people thing, do what makes you happy, do you!.

Your questions about relationship advice is a post from: Magic of Making Up - Advice On How To Get Your Ex Back

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Ending A Relationship – Know When To Stay And When To Go

admin — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 04:35:57 +0000

When ending a relationship, it’s important to know how to end a relationship properly and whether you should be ending a relationship. Not every relationship that has problems needs to end, and not every relationship that has ended needs to stay that way. The trick is having the knowledge to make the right decision.

Some relationships truly do need to end. If your partner is abusing you, you need to get out of the relationship as soon as possible. If you’re on other side, and you’re having trouble controlling your temper, then you’re obligated to break up with the other person for both of your sakes.

Aside from the obvious, when should you consider ending a relationship? When it’s clear to you that the two of you no longer want the same things in a relationship. If the other person wants to get married and you don’t, that’s a sign. When you find yourself moved to cheat on them with someone else, that’s a sign.

Ending a relationship shouldn’t follow a big fight. This is how good relationships end up being broken apart when there’s no reason they had to. When considering breaking it off with the other person, you need to have a clear head about the entire relationship.

Once you decided to break it off, you need to do it the right way so that you can both move on. There are three basic guidelines you need to follow:

Don’t Play Games – Nobody likes to break up with someone. That’s normal, but there’s a temptation to try and make the other person do the dirty work in ending a relationship. Mostly subconsciously, we pick fights and play games to try and antagonize the other person into breaking up with us.

This is a trap you need to avoid. Be direct, be honest and be proactive; make sure you treat the other person with respect. Trying to goad them into breaking up with you will simply make you both miserable.

Do it in Person – Breaking up is a very painful experience for both parties. It is very tempting to bring the relationship to the end by email or phone or, these days, text message. That way, you don’t have to see the look on their face or if you leave a message, without even talking to him.

But obviously, this is no way to end a relationship. If you do not interact with the other person will breaking up, you won’t have any kind of closure. This defeats the entire point of making a clean break. Do both of you a favor and break up in person in a relatively private place.

Be Honest – You need to tell the other person exactly why you are ending the relationship. This isn’t easy, because they will have tendency to try and talk you out of it, but the truth is that lying to them about the reasons doesn’t help either of you. Be honest, even if they don’t want to hear it.

If you follow these three tips, you will find ending a relationship to be a much smoother, much more effective process. Be aware, though, that along the way, you might find that the problems you have are fixable. If this is the case, you need to find some resources to help you mend and repair the relationship.

Ending A Relationship – Know When To Stay And When To Go is a post from: Magic of Making Up - Advice On How To Get Your Ex Back

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Ending a Relationship Breaking Up is Hard To Do

admin — Sun, 24 May 2009 19:41:10 +0000

Does your to-do list look something like this:

·   Walk dog
·   Water plants
·   Break up with significant other

Okay, while ending a relationship is hardly at the top of anybody’s calendar, the fact is that when a relationship has gone sour, someone has to make the move to end it. The truth is that many relationships last long beyond the “expire by” date just because breaking up is hard to do.

Sometimes a break up happens in dramatic fashion with clothes being thrown out of a second story window.

Other times, the relationship just peters out until someone says “it’s caput.”

How do you go about ending a relationship so that neither party gets hurt?

You need to get clear on why you want to terminate the romance. The immediate reason that jumps into your mind may not be the real reason. Once you get clear, the next step in ending a relationship is to get honest. That means that in your discussion with your partner that you are true to yourself and to them.

Schedule a mutually convenient time for the breakup. In general, it is better to do it in person rather than over the phone, but if distance is an issue in the relationship, you should do it sooner than wait for a time you can get together.

Get into a state of compassion when ending the relationship. If you want to stay friends after the break up, you need to conclude the romantic ties with love and compassion.

Don’t put your partner on the defensive. Talk about the things you’ve learned and the memories you will cherish that have come from your love. Be present during the break up. Your partner may become very emotional during this time. You need to respond to their needs.

Don’t take anything personally when ending a relationship. Your partner may say things they don’t really mean. Let these words roll off of your back.

Your partner may need to meet with you more than once to conclude the relationship. Or, they may need space. Give your ex what they need to get through the transition time.

But don’t let them make you feel guilty. You’re ready to begin a new phase in your life and it will not include a romantic relationship with your ex. It is best if you retain a positive relationship of some sort with them, but if you are ending the relationship for the right reasons, it is best for both of you.

Should you ever consider reconnecting? Does ending a relationship always mean “the end, close the book?”

That is something you have to decide. Virtually all relationships can be saved if certain conditions are met. If you have the time and are willing to make the effort, you can get through this period as an even stronger couple.

However, if you are determined to walk away, it’s best to end a relationship with a clean break and move on.

Ending a Relationship Breaking Up is Hard To Do is a post from: Magic of Making Up - Advice On How To Get Your Ex Back

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