Ending a relationship is a challenge. It’s so easy to second guess yourself and wonder if you’re making a horrible mistake. Then comes the guilt you’ll feel by causing someone you used to love, and maybe still do, all that pain. Where should you have ‘the talk’? When?  What will you say? What should you make sure not to say?  It’s never easy to break up, but with some forethought you can lessen the pain and awkwardness a little bit.

Do yourself a favor and think long and hard about it before you actually do it. It’s very hard, sometimes impossible, to get back with someone after a breakup so you want to make sure that you’re sure this is the best thing to do…before you do it.  Don’t go off in a huff because the two of you just had a fight. You don’t want to have to swallow your pride and eat your words if you’ve jumped the gun and then had a change of heart.

Of course, if you’re being abused, don’t allow yourself to be talked out of it. This is the one time that you have got to stand your ground.  Other than that, though, take your time while making your decision, no matter what you may think, the grass isn’t greener on the other side of the fence.  Make sure you’re really ready for all that will happen after the breakup. Don’t expect that you’ll go out and start dating everyone within a 50 mile radius. It’s easy to be a little bored in a relationship and convince yourself that you can do better, but can you?  Really?  You better be sure.

If after all this soul searching you’re still convinced that a breakup is the best way to go, than plan out the best way to go about it. Even though you want out of the relationship that’s no reason to be mean and callous to your soon- to- be ex.  Try to figure out the kindest and gentlest way to end the relationship. Oh, and don’t be a schmuck and breakup with someone right before a major holiday or their birthday. You’ve waited this long you can wait a few days more. No need to tarnish their big day with memories of a painful breakup.

When it comes time to talk to them, pick a quiet place and take your time. Don’t lie to them, be as honest as possible (though if you’re already seeing someone else you may want to spare them that detail) but don’t back down. You’ve given this a lot of thought and you’re sure this is the right thing to do, so do it. They may cry, threaten and plead but you have to stand firm otherwise you’ ll just be repeating the whole scene in a few days or weeks, and who wants to go through that?

Once you’ve done it and the two of you are through, don’t give into temptation and call them, and don’t take their calls if they call you either. You both have to move on and since you’re the one who ended the relationship it’s up to you to be the ‘strong’ one and cut off all contact.  You may be tempted to talk to them, especially if the whole dating everyone within 50 miles thing hasn’t worked out quite the way you planned, but don’t. Make a clean break.

You can’t take away all the pain and make things better for your ex when it comes to ending a relationship, but you can handle the situation with thought and compassion to make things as easy as possible. And you should, because karma can be a witch.

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When ending a relationship, it’s important to know how to end a relationship properly and whether you should be ending a relationship. Not every relationship that has problems needs to end, and not every relationship that has ended needs to stay that way. The trick is having the knowledge to make the right decision.

Some relationships truly do need to end. If your partner is abusing you, you need to get out of the relationship as soon as possible. If you’re on other side, and you’re having trouble controlling your temper, then you’re obligated to break up with the other person for both of your sakes.

Aside from the obvious, when should you consider ending a relationship? When it’s clear to you that the two of you no longer want the same things in a relationship. If the other person wants to get married and you don’t, that’s a sign. When you find yourself moved to cheat on them with someone else, that’s a sign.

Ending a relationship shouldn’t follow a big fight. This is how good relationships end up being broken apart when there’s no reason they had to. When considering breaking it off with the other person, you need to have a clear head about the entire relationship.

Once you decided to break it off, you need to do it the right way so that you can both move on. There are three basic guidelines you need to follow:

Don’t Play Games – Nobody likes to break up with someone. That’s normal, but there’s a temptation to try and make the other person do the dirty work in ending a relationship. Mostly subconsciously, we pick fights and play games to try and antagonize the other person into breaking up with us.

This is a trap you need to avoid. Be direct, be honest and be proactive; make sure you treat the other person with respect. Trying to goad them into breaking up with you will simply make you both miserable.

Do it in Person – Breaking up is a very painful experience for both parties. It is very tempting to bring the relationship to the end by email or phone or, these days, text message. That way, you don’t have to see the look on their face or if you leave a message, without even talking to him.

But obviously, this is no way to end a relationship. If you do not interact with the other person will breaking up, you won’t have any kind of closure. This defeats the entire point of making a clean break. Do both of you a favor and break up in person in a relatively private place.

Be Honest – You need to tell the other person exactly why you are ending the relationship. This isn’t easy, because they will have tendency to try and talk you out of it, but the truth is that lying to them about the reasons doesn’t help either of you. Be honest, even if they don’t want to hear it.

If you follow these three tips, you will find ending a relationship to be a much smoother, much more effective process. Be aware, though, that along the way, you might find that the problems you have are fixable. If this is the case, you need to find some resources to help you mend and repair the relationship.

Does your to-do list look something like this:

·    Walk dog
·    Water plants
·    Break up with significant other

Okay, while ending a relationship is hardly at the top of anybody’s calendar, the fact is that when a relationship has gone sour, someone has to make the move to end it.  The truth is that many relationships last long beyond the “expire by” date just because breaking up is hard to do.

Sometimes a break up happens in dramatic fashion with clothes being thrown out of a second story window.

Other times, the relationship just peters out until someone says “it’s caput.”

How do you go about ending a relationship so that neither party gets hurt?
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