Still in love with your ex?  Looking around for break up help?  Well now you find yourself without the person you’re still in love with you either have to find help to move on or help to win them back.

If you feel you should move on then the kind of break up help you’re going to need depends largely on how bad the relationship and the end of the relationship was.  If it was a major drama that really and seriously took it out of you emotionally, then without a doubt you’re going to need plenty of time to recover and get over the relationship.

Taking care of yourself is always key after any emotional turmoil, but in this case where you’ve been tossed around and you still feel that you love your ex, it is even more key.  Don’t give yourself a hard time for any decisions you made that you now feel in retrospect were wrong decisions. You did the best you could with what you had, so relax and allow yourself to be human.

Make sure that the break up help you need is to look after you and not to look after your ex and what they might be going through.  You have left them behind and though you still have strong feelings for them, they are no longer your responsibility.

If you feel you need to talk to a professional to help you put the whole relationship into perspective then you should do this as soon as possible.  In a situation where you’re still feeling vulnerable and emotional, the sooner you regain your composure and any eroded self-esteem the better.

If the kind of break up help you’re looking for is help to get your ex back, then you need to do some of the things outlined above, but then you also have to make sure you’re implementing a strategy to bring you full circle so you can make up with your ex.

So follow what’s already been outlined: taking care of yourself first and foremost, talk to a professional if you feel you have to and forget about your ex for a few weeks while you recover self-esteem and direction.

Once you’re through the initial re-grouping stage, you then make contact with your ex.  Ask for a meeting somewhere neutral. When you meet your ex, calmly and without being overly emotional explain that you still have feelings for them.  Explain that you’ve had time to think and you’d like another chance to make your relationship work. Take the time to listen to your ex and hear their point of view, you don’t necessarily have to agree with them, but you need to listen.

You then give them time to think and leave to wait for them to call you.  Truth is it could go either way.  Using this break up help guarantees nothing.  Just know this, you have given it your best shot so there is no need to spend endless hours beating yourself up.

If you suspect your partner at all, you should look for signs of cheating in a relationship. Usually if you see smoke, a fire is burning somewhere. So if you have doubt in your partner’s fidelity, there’s probably a reason.

Remember that just because you see signs of cheating in a relationship, though, that doesn’t necessarily mean that cheating is going on. Once you’ve seen the signs, you’ll have to look further to determine if cheating is really happening.

And sometimes there are no signs of cheating in a relationship and yet cheating is going on. It’s not an easy position to be in, to have to figure these things out.

The following signs can certainly lead you one direction or another. Don’t make a decision just based on one or even a few of them. But a lot of evidence can certainly let you know that something may be wrong, and you may want to look at little closer.

•    Secret cell phone conversations are one of the top signs. If your partner leaves the room every time the cell phone rings, you have to wonder why. Were they taught that’s polite? If they’re at all strange acting about the conversation, you should pay attention.

•    Sudden change in hygiene is common when someone is having an affair. If your partner never goes to any special trouble for you to make sure he or she looks and smells good, a change in this could be worrisome. If they’re making themselves nice for you, that’s great. If they’re dolling up to go out, you have to wonder why.

•    More arguments can be one of the signs of cheating in a relationship. Particularly if it seems your partner is starting the argument for no reason and then storming out because of it. It could be just an excuse to leave and have some time away from you without having to come up with another excuse.

•    Catching your partner in a lie can mean trouble. Even the smallest lie shows that person’s willingness to lie in general. Look for connections between that lie and the possibility of an affair.

•    An increase in computer time can be a bad sign. If your partner is spending hours online after you’re in bed or while you’re doing other things, it could be an affair.

•    A common sign of cheating is if your friends act strange. They might know something you don’t and feel uncomfortable around you.

•    And a painfully common sign of cheating is if your partner accuses you of cheating or hints that he thinks you might be having an affair. Very often, that’s a guilty conscious talking and you’re being accused of the thing that’s causing him or her guilt.

The only way to know for sure is to have real evidence. So remember that even though these are common signs of cheating in a relationship, none of them can be used to prove an affair is occurring.

How can you tell if you’re in the right relationship? Have you made a mistake by getting back together with this person, only you can’t see it yet? Sometimes during a break up the only thing you want is the other person. But once you’re back together you question if you’re in the right relationship.

There’s no foolproof way to determine if this person is the right one for you. The only thing you can figure out if you’re in the right relationship at the time. Things can change, but for right now you can look around and see if this is the right place to be.

You have to ask yourself several questions to figure out if this relationship is right for you today. Start with, are you happy? You won’t be skipping and picking flowers every second, of course, but in general you should feel happy to be with that person.

You may have a doubt now and then or a bad feeling, but if your feelings toward the person and the relationship are mostly positive, then you could be in a great relationship. Don’t let the odd doubt or strange feeling make you wonder if you’ve made a mistake.

When you do feel doubt or feel sad, why do you? Is it because you’re wondering about a specific other person and thinking that you might be with them instead? Or are they just general thoughts about the possibilities you might be missing if you weren’t in this relationship?

Everyone thinks things like that from time to time. But if you’re preoccupied by “what ifs” and “if only” thoughts, you might not be in the right relationship after all.

Do you feel safe in the relationship? This applies to feeling physically safe, as in your partner would never hit or abuse you. And it also applies to feeling emotionally safe. You feel that they would not want to hurt you for the world.

Do you feel safe from the threat of a break up? Or do you worry about your partner cheating often? If you spend a lot of your time in the relationship wondering if the other person is capable of cheating, then you might not be with the right person.

If you think the person is cheating, then you’re spending a lot of time being suspicious and questioning his or her motives. That’s no way to spend your days. You need to figure out if your doubts are reasonable.

Would that person actually cheat or do you think those things from your own insecurities? If you really don’t trust the other person, you shouldn’t be in a relationship with them. That will only serve to make you miserable and suspicious, and can end badly for both of you.

Do you feel special? If you feel like you’re constantly fighting for the other person’s attention and affection, you might look for someone else. You should feel like the person most important to them if you’re in the right relationship.

If you dumped girlfriend and you want her back, then you’re going to have to move fast but not so fast that you make the classic mistakes that guys make when they’re trying desperately to get back with their exs.

If you want to get her back then I bet you’ve been sending her expensive gifts, trying desperately to get her attention and prove something to her about how you feel.  Chances are none of that has worked, because to be honest it’s pretty old hat and your girlfriend wants to see something more honest and much more innovative from you.

A dumped girlfriend is likely out to make you jump through a few hoops before she takes you back, even if she desperately wants you back.  And if you did dump her, it’s going to be hard to argue against her feeling that way.

You’ve without a doubt greatly hurt her feelings and her pride and she’s going to exact some revenge for that.  Depending on how desperate you are to get her back will tell you the level to which you’ll be prepared to put up with what she throws at you.

If she needs you to explain what you did and why you did it, then you better take some time to figure it out in your own head and be sincere when you sit down to explain it to her.

If she needs an apology from you and a sound promise from you that you will never do it again, then you’re going to have to do that.

Maybe you panicked as you saw the relationship deepening and getting more and more serious.  It’s a pretty common feature for some guys and to suddenly feel as they are feeling smothered and overwhelmed in a relationship and instead of sitting down with their girlfriends, they panic.  Before you know it, they have a dumped girlfriend and they’re living with regret.  So perhaps this is the situation that you have to explain to your ex girlfriend.  If it is, again, be honest.

What you must guard against in a situation where you were clearly in the wrong and you over reacted, is that you don’t become her punching bag.  Don’t allow her to use you as an emotional vessel into which she pours out all her frustrations and anger just because she can.  So doormat out, understanding and apologetic guy in!

Chances are if the two of you still have feelings for each other, you will get her back after you dumped girlfriend, but you have to be clear that you’re happy to try again and not simply reacting to feeling bad about the way you treated her.

For some who have been dumped, understanding how to win ex girlfriend back can be a major problem and to be honest without a specific plan, most never figure out how to get their ex girlfriend back.

If you’re one hundred percent sure that you want to win ex girlfriend back then your first job is to read through this article and then take the action suggested.

Without a doubt you’ll get nowhere if you don’t stop and think about what you’re doing.  Running around making grand gestures, as many do, is a quick way to losing your ex girlfriend for good.  So if you’ve been sending designer perfume, booking romantic meals out, you need to stop that now and reflect.

Break off all communication with your ex and leave her alone.  She has dumped you for a reason and if you want to win ex girlfriend back, then ignoring her wishes will only send her in the opposite direction. So accept that by leaving you she has expressly and physically demonstrated her need for some time and space on her own and honor that.

Instead, spend the time away from her thinking about what went wrong and what was your role in the breakup.  If you made a mistake that caused the breakup, don’t waste time beating yourself up and feeling sorry for yourself.  Instead take a long hard look at your behavior and take the necessary steps to change whatever needs changing.

Do you have anger issues?  If you do then you should seriously consider talking to a professional who can help you cope with this and find different ways of expressing anger that do not threaten or cause harm.

Are you struggling with trust issues to the point that you were constantly wanting to know where your ex girlfriend was and who she was with?  Work on building up your own self-esteem and self-confidence, because usually that is what is missing in cases like these.

Did you find yourself cheating on her even though you loved her?  Well then take the time to find out why you were doing that and what you can do to stop temptation when it next comes along.

The truth is whatever the reason she walked out on you, to win ex girlfriend back you’re going to have to do some serious and some honest and sincere work.  If she has gone as far as walking out, then a flimsy gesture to get her back won’t work.  Believe her actions: she is ready to put your relationship on the line if things don’t change.