I’m sorry.  If you’re reading this you must be having a very rough time in your relationship.  I know how difficult that can be.  If you are asking, ‘How can I save our relationship?” I do have some tips that might be able to make a difference for you and your partner.

There are a few things you have to consider very carefully and honestly first.  You have to decide why you want to save your relationship.  That might sound like a dumb comment to make but sometimes we cling to things that we should just let go.  We cling for the wrong reasons such as fear of being alone.  Before you invest too much time and emotion in trying to save your relationship first make sure that it should be saved.

Now that you’ve done your honest soul searching and  you’ve decided that your relationship is worth saving here are a few tips you can follow which should help:

1) It’s not all about you.  So often in relationships one person tends to carry more of the burden.  They are the ‘fixer’.  They are the ones who carry most of the emotional baggage.  If that person is you than you have to realize that you can’t do it all.  If your relationship is going to be saved your partner has to be able, and willing, to meet you halfway.

2) Try to communicate without condemning or criticizing.  When a relationship starts to falter there are a lot of hurt feelings and frustrations from both parties.  These hurts can build up into a huge wall of resentment.  That wall is very tough to tear down.  It will take a lot of time, patience, and open communication.

If the two of you aren’t good at communicating you might need to find resources such as a book or counseling, that can help you work on your communication skills.

3) Own it.  If you’ve screwed up you need to be a mature adult and admit your mistake and apologize for it.  This is key.  Remember in step 2 when I talked about resentments building up? You can do a lot to ease those resentments if you just own up to your mistakes and offer a sincere apology for the hurt you may have caused.  To someone who loves you and wants to make things work this will be a very sweet sound.

Follow these 3 steps and you will be well on  your way to answering the question ” how can i save our relationship?”.  Remember, the problems didn’t spring up overnight and they’re not going to go away overnight either.  But if the two of you are willing to work together you can get back the loving, fulfilling relationship you both want.

Do you wonder “how to save my marriage?”  This article tells you how to save your marriage.

First, you need to identify the trouble in your relationship.  Some common troubles include:

·    Money concerns
·    Child rearing difficulties
·    Lack of sex
·    Lack of communication
·    Loss of identity

And, of course, there are many others.  You may discover that there is one main problem or you may identify several smaller problems that are eating away at your marriage.

When you identify the problem or problems that are at the root of your marriage troubles, you will be able to move on to the next step which is close, personal interaction.

In this step, you will need to be open to extensive conversation.  If you have not had a lot of open communication during your marriage, you may want to consider counseling in order to facilitate the personal interaction that is key to this step.

If you really want to save your marriage, you will set aside time to work on your marriage issues every single day.  You could set aside some time like after the children go to bed or you could decide to take a walk after dinner every day for just the two of you.  But, you should plan to get back in touch with each other.  A daily habit of quality time with your spouse is very important.

Take some “romantic time” each week.  For some couples, this means reinstating a “date night” every week.  On Tuesdays, for instance, you get a sitter and go out for a picnic or walk around the mall.  As you can see, this doesn’t have to involve wine and roses every week, but a romantic time that you can look forward to all week is essential.

As you spend time together being romantic and discussing your problems, you must have an open mind toward what your partner is telling you.  You need to understand that a lot of the problems in your marriage are caused by – get this – you!  Until you really listen to your partner, you are not going to be able to effect the kind of personal change necessary to save your marriage.

You need to have faith in your partner.  You need to give him or her the benefit of the doubt.  You need to believe that the marriage still can and will work.  You also need to believe that your partner is still essentially the same person he or she was when you married them.  If you cannot have faith in your partner and in your marriage, you might as well give up now.

Finally, you have to be open to forgiveness.  If your partner has made mistakes – even major ones – you must be able to forgive.  If you insist that there are things that cannot be forgiven, there is no hope for your marriage.

Everyone makes mistakes.  Some people make big mistakes.  If that person makes a genuine apology – which includes acts of contrition and an effort to change – they deserve forgiveness.

This article gave you answers to that perplexing question, “how to save my marriage.”

Few things are more painful than having your heart broken.

Both men and women experience the pain of breaking up.  Sometimes you are the one who called it off and other times your ex did, but in either case, there is pain on both sides.  And, sometimes the break up happened for good reasons while other times it seemed to go up in a puff of smoke for no reason at all.  These can be the most painful of all.

If you don’t go about getting over the break up though, there can be some serious consequences.  Don’t fall into the trap of lingering over a lost love.  The worst trap of all is to start to write a “victim story” that makes you the protagonist in a tale of love gone bad.

First of all, you should realize that if you don’t get over your ex, it will be toxic to any future relationship you might have.

Second, realize that you can’t run away from it, medicate it, or suppress it.  You have to face the pain head on and deal with it.

There’s no way out of a broken heart.  There’s only a way through.  Accept that there is going to be pain.  Use the time during this period to understand the hurt.  Some ways to do this are to write in a journal, get counseling, or pour your heart out in song.  Realize there are no quick solutions to getting over a break up.

Next, you need to examine whether there is anything in your past that would have lead to this break up.  For instance, did the abuse in your childhood cause you to be an abuser in this relationship?  Take note of those things because they will help you foster healthier relationships in the future.

Don’t paint yourself as the victim of the relationship either.  Take responsibility for your actions.  While your ex may have been the one whose “fault” was the immediate cause of the break up, the truth is that the underlying circumstances were caused by both of you.

By getting rid of your “victim story” you become a healthier, more attractive partner for a future boyfriend or girlfriend.  You’ll begin to see that your “victim story” was composed of beliefs, attitudes and thoughts that color your perceptions about everything.  It becomes a self fulfilling prophesy.

When you handle your broken heart badly, you perpetuate your pain.  You’ll never go about getting over break up.

But, when you can handle your emotions with the ultimate goal of letting them go, you enable healing.

Getting over a broken heart takes work.  It also takes time.  Don’t underestimate the factors which go into curing your heartbreak.

You’ve just lost a person who was extremely important to your life.  But, use this time for growth and you will become a stronger person and have better relationships in the future.  That is how you really go about getting over a break up.

When you are having trouble dealing with break up it is only natural. There is nothing to be ashamed of because everyone does. The important thing to do is to decide how you are going to dealing with break up.

You have two ways that you can go about dealing with break up. The first is to let it tear you apart. The second is to overcome it and become stronger because of it. There is a saying that that whatever doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger but that all depends on your attitude and how you decide you will be dealing with break up.

This break up may have been the most devastating thing you have gone through but you don’t have to let it destroy you. What makes you a survivor is you deciding that this moment will not define you. A marriage ending in divorce or any type of relationship ending is difficult. If it was due to someone’s infidelity or an affair then you may have self-esteem issues that you need to get some counseling to help you through it. The same is especially true if there was abuse of any kind involved. If you were on either side of those issues, seek some help. Dealing with break up for any reason can cause some long-term problems if they aren’t dealt with soon.

When you are dealing with break up you want to be strong after you have gone through all of it. By deciding that you are going to come out a winner and stronger you are going to be helping yourself by giving yourself some positive focus and good goals to achieve. Don’t let this consume you. You have to be able to move on. Winning this is learning that there is life after this relationship and finding that life.

Also, don’t decide that you just want to survive, decide that you are going to THRIVE! Realize that your best days are ahead of you. Wake up each morning trying to focus on what good things can come on this day and try to be excited about what tomorrow holds. Focus on the good things that life has to offer. Life is over just because that relationship ended. You don’t have to lie to yourself and others. Believe that today is a gift and that you are fortunate because you have an unopened gift waiting for you just around the corner.  Once you start believing that, you won’t have any more problems dealing with the breakup.

Breaking up is hard to do but it is only as devastating as you let it be. A nasty breakup doesn’t have to be the end of you. It can and will be a new beginning. The breakup of a relationship doesn’t have to bring the breaking up of your life. If you build a new foundation from the ruins of this tough breakup, chances are that you will have no problem dealing with break up in the future.

If you want to know how to get over someone you love, you must realize that none of the answers are easy ones. No matter how ready you might think you are to move on and get over that person, that you have to ask how to do it at all shows that it’s going to be a painful process.  Sometimes it’s a slow process, too.  You might think you’re over someone and a year or two later be reminded of that person and feel all the pain and sadness again.  That doesn’t mean you’re not over the person, though.

If you’ve had a lot emotionally invested into a relationship and it ends, it’s something that can potentially make you feel sad for years.  Maybe even for the rest of your life.  But that doesn’t mean the sadness has to be paralyzing or has to throw you into a depression. By getting over the person, you can realize that losing them made you sad, and look back on it as you would any sad loss.  It’s the period of time soon after the loss that should be the hardest, that makes you ask how to get over someone you love.

If the break-up is new, often the only way to deal with it is just to face the pain and ride it out.  It’s going to hurt, no matter what you do.  But there are some things you can do to lessen the pain.  You can remove obvious visual reminders of the person, if possible.  Photographs of them can be put away for a while.  Gifts they gave you can be stored instead of displayed.  You can even avoid the places you used to go together for a while.  This tip can be found in pretty much every list that explains how to get over someone you love, so it’s at least a popular idea that’s worth a try.

If you’re really having trouble living your life after the break-up, it might be necessary to seek counseling.  Simply explain that you’ve just been through a painful break-up and ask the counselor how to get over someone you love.  They can offer helpful advice, and can be more specific that generic lists about how to get over someone you love.  A counselor can also probably offer better advice than friends or family.

Your friends and family might feel they know your situation too well.  Some may have motives for help you get over the person.  They might not have liked that you were in the relationship to begin with, so they might want you to get over things or move on to another person too quickly.  With a counselor, though, you can safely tell them things about the relationship you probably don’t want friends or family to even know.

Feel free to go to counseling for as long as you need to.  If the counselor feels you’re spending too much time dwelling on how to get over someone you love, they’ll tell you.