Communicate Before Marriage Values Religion Etc-Blinded By Love

You see a lot online or in magazines or on t.v. about how to deal with problems and issues in a relationship or marriage. The sad thing is that most of these problems could easily have been avoided if people would have just taken some time to communicate before marriage values, religion etc. Finding out what you have in common, what you don’t agree on and what you may be able to compromise on before you are married can save a lot of stress and tension after you are married.

Hey, I’m not criticizing anyone, I did the same thing. I ignored very obvious warning signs that my soon to be husband wasn’t really the man for me. I was in love and apparently blind, because I went through with it and we got married. I did get two wonderful, beautiful children out of the marriage so I guess I won’t complain, but many of the hurts and issues we faced could have been avoided if both of us had been more honest.

It become clear fairly early on that we didn’t really have that much in common. We each wanted different things in a marriage. I wanted my best friend and companionship. Someone who I knew always had my back, even when I was wrong or just not very lovable. He wanted someone to cook and clean for him. He didn’t want a partner, we wanted a maid and a call girl. He was very immature and emotionally stunted, that too become pretty clear early on.

If you don’t want your marriage to end up in divorce, take some time to
communicate before marriage values, religion etc. Finding out what your soon to be spouse is really like can be the difference between a wonderful marriage or a nightmare. Here are some basic things the two of you should be on the same page about (or at least be able to find a good compromise on):

1. If religion is something that is very important to you, it might be a good idea to marry someone with similar beliefs. If you have some belief in a higher power but you aren’t too tied to any one organized religion, than it may not be a problem.

2. Do you want to have kids? If so, how many? How do you think they should be raised, should one parent stay home with them or are you both ok with the idea of daycare? If one parent should stay home, which parent? All of this is very important to take into consideration. If you have a great career you love and your soon to be husband has very traditional values and expects you to stay home and raise the kids, how is that going to make you feel?

3. What about money? Is one of you a someone who likes to pinch every penny and the other likes to rack up the credit cards to the limit? If so, how is that going to work? It will be a constant source of stress between the two of you. Also, who handles the money and financial issues, like getting insurance, paying the bills, etc.? Some couples like to do it together, which is best. But others may think that only one should do it. Find out what your partner is thinking.

Communicate before marriage values, religion etc is a good idea and may just save your marriage.

It seems like every time we turn around there is a new book or magazine article about relationship break up advice. The truth is that finding out the best way to deal with a breakup is information virtually every one will need at some point.  Whether you want to try to get your ex back, or just move on with as little pain as possible, it will take time (and having some friends around won’t hurt either).

The length of the relationship will often determine how long it will take you to move on. Most of the time, though not always, the longer the relationship and the more memories and baggage you have the longer it will take for you to stop grieving and feel like you want to meet someone new.  Even if they cheated on you or did something really bad, it will more often than not still take quite a bit of time for you to finally separate from them emotionally.

Even though we may wish we could at times, we can’t just flip a switch and turn off all the love and companionship we’d been feeling for such a long time. We will need to edge away slowly, in baby steps, until finally we can stand on our own and we’ll have moved on. The first step to this process is to get away. Maybe not literally, but figuratively. Put away all the pictures and mementos the two of you collected during your time together. Don’t call them or accept their call if they call you. You need space and time.

Everyone is different, for you it might be easier to have some friends come over and pack everything up all at once and put it in the attic.  For others it may be easier to do it in small steps, a little each day until it’s all out of sight. There is no wrong way, as long as it gets done.  Even doing something like redecorating or painting may help you get the fresh perspective that will help you.

If you’ve been meaning to buy new furniture or paint the wall in the living room, now may be the perfect time. For one thing it will give you something to do, something positive, that will keep you at least a little distracted. Another thing is that you will be changing the look of your environment which will make it a little easier to forget and move on.

No one is suggesting that a coat of paint on the wall or a new couch will make all the pain go away, but it might give you something else to focus on and take away some of the things that will trigger the painful memories of the two of you watching movies or doing the crossword puzzle on Sunday mornings. Those little memories of the seemingly unimportant times are the toughest to forget.  The best relationship break up advice I can give you is to keep moving forward in life, surround yourself with friends and family and hang in there, it does get better.

Sometimes a relationship can be over before it’s over.  The two of you may still be together but the warmth, love and companionship is gone. At times like this a woman may ask the question: how can I get my boyfriend to love me again?  Answering this question will be easier if the two of you are still together, but not impossible if you aren’t.  You have to figure out what caused the relationship to cool and then try to reverse whatever that was.

If the two of you recently broke up the thing that you feel most like doing is the one thing you absolutely should never do: call him (text him, IM him, etc. ) This is especially important if he broke up with you. If you start acting like some sort of crazy stalker lady, at worst you’re going to end up with a restraining order against you and at best he’ll only think of you as his ‘sure thing, back up plan’.  Neither of those are terrific options. Give him space.

That doesn’t mean that you have to go out and find another guy or hide under your bed.  While you are giving your ex time, take some time for you.  I’m sure that there are things that you wanted to do or liked to do that got put on the back burner while the two of you were together. Now is the time to remember those things and start doing them again.

Most men prefer a woman who is self sufficient and confidant.  Those are probably traits you had at first, it’s time to re introduce yourself to those traits and start having fun and doing all the things you meant to do or used to do. Your ex will hear about it through the grapevine and he will be intrigued.  You might just find that he is calling you, by resorting to the woman you used to be you are reminding him of the woman he fell in love with.  Plus, by keeping yourself busy you aren’t allowing yourself time to wallow and obsess.

The same principle can hold true if you and your guy are still together, but just not feeling the love.  Don’t make a big issue out of it, just start doing some of the things that you were planning on doing but somehow got sidetracked when you and your guy got together.  Whatever it was, whether it was going back to school, learning to cook, taking a trip, etc.  This will remind both of you of the woman you used to be. That can help him remember the love he had for you and it can remind you of the person you used to be and make positive changes to be that woman again.

The question: how can I get my boyfriend to love me again, can seem so sad and hopeless. But it doesn’t have to be.  There are many things that you can do, many of which are much easier than you may have thought possible, that can help you and your boyfriend rekindle the love the two of you had before.

Sometimes the best way to say something is the way someone more literary than you has said it.  In that vein, here are some relationship quotes of note:

“Some people come into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts and we are never ever the same.” -Flavia Weedn

“The best and most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen or even heard, but must be felt with the heart.” – Helen Keller

“Where does the family start? It starts with a young man falling in love with a girl – no superior alternative has yet been found.” – Winston Churchill

“The act of forgiveness is the act of returning to present time. And that’s why when one has become a forgiving person, and has managed to let go of the past, what they’ve really done is they’ve shifted their relationship with time.” – Caroline Myss

“Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.” – Mark Twain

“Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.”  -Oprah Winfrey

“Some of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that most people enter a relationship in order to get something: they’re trying to find someone who’s going to make them feel good. In reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take.” -Anthony Robbins

“Well, it seems to me that the best relationships – the ones that last – are frequently the ones that are rooted in friendship. You know, one day you look at the person and you see something more than you did the night before. Like a switch has been flicked somewhere. And the person who was just a friend is… suddenly the only person you can ever imagine yourself with” ~ Gillian Anderson

“Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.” – Aristotle

“It is wrong to think that love comes from long companionship and persevering courtship. Love is the offspring of spiritual affinity and unless that affinity is created in a moment, it will not be created for years or even generations.” – Kahlin Gibran

“To love means to commit oneself without guarantee, to give oneself completely in the hope that our love will produce love in the loved person.” – Eric Fromm

“Man is a knot into which relationships are tied.” ~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

“You can’t stop loving or wanting to love because when its right, it’s the best thing in the world. When you’re in a relationship and it’s good, even if nothing else in your life is right, you feel like your whole world is complete.” ~ Keith Sweat

“Our greatest joy-and our greatest pain comes in our relationships with others.” ~ Stephen R. Covey

“Love doesn’t just sit there like a stone; it has to be made – like bread, remade all the time, made new.” – Ursula LeGuin

“Once the trust goes out of a relationship, it’s really no fun lying to ‘em anymore.” -Norm from Cheers

Hopefully you have enjoyed and can find inspiration from these relationship quotes.