There is HOPE. Did you know that most
relationships CAN be salvaged?

The Magic of Making Up from TW Jackson has helped thousand of people cope with the confusion and pain caused by a break-up. Learn the symptoms of heartbreak and the mistakes commonly made when trying to get back with an ex. The Magic of Making Up walks you through what you need to say and the actions to take to help rebuild a relationship and reunite you with your ex.

It Will Take Work But You Can Save Marriage

If you’re marriage is in trouble you can save marriage from divorce if you are prepared to put some effort into it. Marriage is a partnership and it takes both partners to make it work. Remember the reason you got married in the first place – you found someone that you want to grow old with and make a home and have a family with. You found someone that you love.

So when everything started out so well, why has it turned bad now? Whose fault is it that the relationship hasn’t turned out the way you dreamt it would? Does it really matter whose fault it is? Even couples who are so in love and have a strong relationship will have difficult moments to work through in their marriage. Marriage isn’t always easy and sometimes you have to work at it. There is hope of saving your marriage if you both want to.

When a marriage goes through a difficult period there is usually not much communication going on between the partners. To save your marriage you need to open the lines of communication and take back control. You can’t just live day by day hoping that things will sort themself out, you need to take control and fix your marriage. If you don’t nurture and work at your marriage, you will lose it.

To work at your marriage effectively you need to talk about things. When you leave things without talking about them then there can be many misconceptions or misunderstandings. Each partner looks at things from their own perspective and doesn’t really know how the other person feels. They may misinterpret things that are said or done because of the way that they are thinking. You need to talk to each other and listen to one another and try to see things from the other person’s point of view. Good communication is essential to saving a marriage.

You love each other once and that love is probably still there, buried beneath the stress of life’s problems. You get caught up in the day to day running of life that you let love slip by. You spend all your time working, paying bills, running the kids around and you just don’t have enough time to spend with each other. When you first get married you don’t think of the future and all the extra, stressful things that will come into your life. Although marriage may not be exactly as you imagined it, you can work toward getting that fairy tale marriage back.

First you need to talk about the problems in your marriage. Tell each other how you perceive what is happening and how you feel about it. Take the time to really listen to your partner and try to understand how they are feeling. By talking about things you can clear up any misconceptions or misunderstanding. Next you need to make a plan on how to save your marriage. Sort out finances by making a budget and sticking to it. Schedule a time in your week for you to spend time together. Start dating again, once a week go out for dinner or go to a movie or just go for a walk down the beach. It doesn’t matter what you do, as long as you are doing it together. Eat dinner together as a family at the dinner table and not sitting on the sofa watching TV.

You can’t just go on as you are hoping for some miracle to happen to save your marriage. You need to make changes in your life and start to work on saving your marriage. If you really want your marriage to work you can save marriage if you put in the effort.

Are Your Relationships Needs Being Met

Are Your Relationships Needs Being Met

A relationship has a much better chance of being happy and lasting long term if both parties’ relationships needs are being met. If your needs aren’t being met then there is a much higher chance that the relationship won’t last. If your relationship has ended and you are trying to get back together and make it work, it is important to work on having relationships needs met for both partners.

To be able to get your needs met your partner must know what your needs are. They cannot try to meet your needs if they have no idea what they are. Good communication is essential for a happy relationship. Your partner will want to meet your needs but you must tell them what they are so they can do so.

Just as you need to tell your partner what your relationships needs are you also need to encourage your partner to tell you what their needs are. If you have never asked your partner about his needs before you may actually be surprised by what their needs are.

If you have the need to be told by your partner that they love you and you like to be told this often then you might assume that they have the same need. You may tell them often that you love them but in actual fact they may not have that need at all. I’m sure he enjoys being told that you love him but it might not be his need and his needs may be completely different and still not being met. Perhaps he prefers to be shown that you love him rather than being told.

A relationship can really be strengthened just by having this simple discussion and talking about your needs. You will find it so much easier to make each other happy when you know what the other person wants. You may feel a little uncomfortable talking about your needs but you should try to do it anyway, it really can help improve your relationship.

Your needs may be that you need your partner to help around the house a little more. Maybe you wish that he would help vacuum or tidy up but you don’t like to ask for his help so you do it on your own. You may begin to feel some resentment toward him for not helping when in actual fact he has no idea that you would like his help around the house. It is very simple to ask for his help and he may be quite willing to do it. There is no point getting angry with him for not helping out or meeting your needs if you have never told him what your needs are.

If you stomp around vacuuming or slamming things around as you are tidying up then you are using passive aggressive behavior which is very common in relationships. Many people use this type of behavior when they become angry that their needs aren’t being met when in actual fact it wouldn’t be necessary if they just talked about their needs.

Talking about your needs instead of using passive aggressive behavior will make the relationship a much happier one and you won’t be so angry and resentful.

If you use passive aggressive behavior he will just think you are acting like a spoilt brat and will only feel guilted into helping. If you talk to him and explain your needs then he will be much happier to help you.

Your needs could be varied and are not restricted to housework, it could be showing affection or feeling respected. People have many needs and you really should discuss your relationships needs to have a long and happy relationship.

Joseph asks…

Relationship Advice? Love and sex?

Hello,

I am in a loving relationship with the love of my life… We’ve been together for only 2 months, so it’s still pretty new. We love each other and miss each other when we can’t be together. I am 33, and she is 34.

Initially, we waited about 3 weeks to have sex. It was free and good, and there were no problems. We would be together physically every day, or every other day. Then, somehow, something happened a few weeks ago where now we don’t feel free with each other, and we’ve had some difficult unsuccessful attempts (the first one was when we had drank too much, then the seeds of anxiety grew in both of us, which brought about the other unsuccessful tries). Now we don’t even really try except for maybe once a week or something, and it hasn’t been good for a while.

We still are in so much love, but our sexual issue is starting to make me think we don’t have the chemistry we thought we did. It’s hard for us to communicate openly about the issue, so instead we’ve just stopped trying. Really, she stopped responding to my advances.

I am not sure how to progress. I am fearful that our relationship is on the decline. It’s not all about sex, but I want that free feeling back that we used to have, and now there’s so much anxiety surrounding it that I just don’t even want to try anymore.

Is anyone in a stable relationship (longer than 2 months, say, maybe a few years?), that had an initial setback physically? Do I still have hope to work this out and get the freedom back we used to feel? What can I do to make her feel free again? I need to feel wanted in a relationship, and I feel like ssince she stopped responding to my advances, maybe she just isn’t attracted to me anymore. But throughout the day we hug and touch and laugh and play, so I don’t want to give up the love of my life over a temporary issue.

Any advice?

linda answers:

Communication.
Why don’t you try a stay-at-home date? Something simple but romantic… or a date out for dinner & a movie. You could try to do something you both used to do when you first met. Did you go to an event? Out for lunch?

A lot of people rely on sex for their relationship. If what you two have is love, then it will come back eventually. Maybe the “connection” every day or every other day was interfering with the get-to-know-you aspect. Do something that will bring you two together emotionally & mentally, and the physical part will come.

Too many relationships are torn apart because of the “I don’t have that feeling anymore” reason. Love is not a feeling. It HAS feeling, but it isnt a feeling. Just because the sexual chemistry isnt there doesn’t mean your relationship is going to fall. Maybe all you two need is a break from the physical and a time to focus on each other’s thoughts, emotions, etc.

It is very possible for a couple to regain the deeper passion that was there before. It just needs a little time.

Spend time together, ask her what she wants to do, is there anywhere she wants to go, etc. I think flowers are a very, very sweet gesture. It’s simple and classic. If there is a place that has flowers growing then by all means go and pick some. It is much better than buying them from a store. :)

Best of love & wishes to you both!

Richard asks…

If you are a parent, what would you advice your daughter if she is in a long distance love relationship?

To all parents out there: If your daughter/son is in a long distance love relationship what would you advice your daughter/son on how to make his/her fiance/fiancee feel love? even if they are miles and miles apart. Please give examples, if you could.

linda answers:

If she is really in love the distance is going to make that feeling stronger. It is very romantic situation and probably she will feel like no body will stop her love… not only the distance.
If you are worried about her leaving you… you must start thinking that the goal of the parents is to let the kids when they are prepared to fly alone. Trust on your values and education!
If you are worried about the potential damage that the distance can make on the relationship… I think is the same in any relationship. Let the things to happen… that is part of her experience.
But just let her know that you are there for her. A friend to listen to her worries and a mother to comfort her heart.

Thomas asks…

10 pts!! Whats the true meaning of love?? (relationship advice)?

I want to know if i really love this guy and if he really loves me. Im going to ask him how he knows that he loves me and Im going to do the same. How do YOU (personally) know that you lovee a certain somebody??

linda answers:

Well, Love is something that you cannot describe with words. There are no way to tell someone why you love them. If he tells you that he love you because of your personality, your hair, your eyes, your looks. Then he doens’t love you, because those things are just attractions. If he tells you that he loves you because of those things, he’s only attracted to those things. You can’t describe love to someone with words.

Michael asks…

love/relationship advice?

What would u do if u found yourself falling in love with someone who has relationship pain from recent years and your still getting over a break up

i dont want to do anything stupid but at the same time i want to get closer to this new person or she could disapear from my life entirely

bascially im very confused :S any help would be great :)

linda answers:

I think the best thing to do with this situation is just be honest with her and tell her how you are feeling.

If she is getting over a relationship that ended years ago, then clearly there is something wrong with that…maybe she just needs someone else to come along and give her reason to finally gain some closure.

If I were you, I would bite the bullet and tell her how you’re feeling. She find that you are exactly what she is looking for!

Good Luck!

Nancy asks…

Love Relationship Advice.?

I am 17 years old, about to turn 18 in May, I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for a while now, Middle and High School sweet hearts. We’ve been together since December 25, 2005. We been through so much together UPs and DOWNs but we’ve manage to pull through together. High School is almost over and she wants to continue her education and head to San Francisco State. But I want to stay here in San Diego because I already have future business/education things planned out with my father’s Company. She wants to leave San Diego because it getting “Too Small” and we know many people here. All I am asking for is a little advice and how to deal with things and what should I do.
Thanks in Advance Yahoo!

linda answers:

You might think about your future and encourage her to do what she thinks is best for her future education…

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How To Get Over Girl

Many girls dump their boyfriends and don’t give any real reason.  They have the urge to purge and drop their lover without him doing anything to her.  Sometimes they want to get back together right away, but other times, they move on leaving you to hold the bag.  This article will discuss how to get over girl.

First of all, you should understand that you are not alone.  Most men fear being dumped by a serious lover than being rejected in the early stages of dating.  This is because the bonds men form with the women they are dating are important to them.  Sometimes it seems that the men see them as more important than the women do despite all of the literature directed toward women about relationships.

To get over girl, you need to stop adoring her.  Don’t put her up on a pedestal like some kind of Greek Goddess.  She has feet of clay which she exposed by dumping you when you did nothing wrong.

Don’t hold on to past memories of her.  Get rid of the photos and momentos in your home that remind you of her.  If you have some of her “stuff” get rid of it or give it back to her.

If you have entangled finances, sort them out so you can move on.  This includes both joint banking accounts and settling debts you owe each other.

Don’t allow her to occupy the space in your mind that she had when you were together.  She is part of the past and you have to live in the present and the future.

Close out all contact with your ex.  Don’t call her “just to chat” or allow her to continue to email or text you.  Instead, tell her that she called it quits and you want to start a new life without her in it.

This may make her want to pursue you even harder.  Women are crazy that way.  They want what they can’t have.  If you are open to restarting the relationship, you can allow this communication to go on.  But, if you want to start the healing process, she should be a persona non gratis in your life.

Don’t be afraid to express your feelings.  Sometimes writing in a journal or writing music is sufficient.  Other times, you’ll need a shoulder to lean on.  If the situation is severe, consider getting short term counseling.

Finally, don’t mope around the house.  Get back into the game.  While you may not be ready to start dating again, you should go to the gym, play basketball with your buddies and go to a bar from time to time.  Don’t stick around the house because you are too sad to go out.

If you have the opportunity to go out on a casual date, take advantage of it.  Show the girl a good time, even if you’re not really that in to her.  You will be more ready for a real relationship if you’ve kept up your dating skills.

That is how to get over girl.

For some who have been dumped, understanding how to win ex girlfriend back can be a major problem and to be honest without a specific plan, most never figure out how to get their ex girlfriend back.

If you’re one hundred percent sure that you want to win ex girlfriend back then your first job is to read through this article and then take the action suggested.

Without a doubt you’ll get nowhere if you don’t stop and think about what you’re doing.  Running around making grand gestures, as many do, is a quick way to losing your ex girlfriend for good.  So if you’ve been sending designer perfume, booking romantic meals out, you need to stop that now and reflect.

Break off all communication with your ex and leave her alone.  She has dumped you for a reason and if you want to win ex girlfriend back, then ignoring her wishes will only send her in the opposite direction. So accept that by leaving you she has expressly and physically demonstrated her need for some time and space on her own and honor that.

Instead, spend the time away from her thinking about what went wrong and what was your role in the breakup.  If you made a mistake that caused the breakup, don’t waste time beating yourself up and feeling sorry for yourself.  Instead take a long hard look at your behavior and take the necessary steps to change whatever needs changing.

Do you have anger issues?  If you do then you should seriously consider talking to a professional who can help you cope with this and find different ways of expressing anger that do not threaten or cause harm.

Are you struggling with trust issues to the point that you were constantly wanting to know where your ex girlfriend was and who she was with?  Work on building up your own self-esteem and self-confidence, because usually that is what is missing in cases like these.

Did you find yourself cheating on her even though you loved her?  Well then take the time to find out why you were doing that and what you can do to stop temptation when it next comes along.

The truth is whatever the reason she walked out on you, to win ex girlfriend back you’re going to have to do some serious and some honest and sincere work.  If she has gone as far as walking out, then a flimsy gesture to get her back won’t work.  Believe her actions: she is ready to put your relationship on the line if things don’t change.