Perhaps it’s a sad commentary on our society that the legal requirements for marriage are relatively simple. The main things the law wants to be assured of is that both parties are old enough, not related and that they pay to file the marriage license. Let’s face it, that’s a pretty low bar to get over. This lack of more marriage requirements must also be one of the root causes for the high divorce rate in this country. But as you will see, that doesn’t have to be the case.

Those are only the legal marriage requirements though. Virtually any couple that wants to get married can do so. It’s easy; maybe too easy. However, the other prerequisites are much more meaningful and have a bigger impact on how happy a couple will be. What these requirements all basically boil down to are compatibility.

But what about the concept of “opposites attract”? The truth is that it is more of a romantic notion than true reality. Study after study has shown that even if opposites do attract, they very rarely stay together. this is because there is too little common ground on which to build a relationship. While it can be appealing to meet somebody that is so different from you, the novelty soon wears off. That doesn’t mean you should each be carbon copies of one another, far from from it. But you should have a few things in common. Of course, these are all things you should know before you even start thinking about getting married.

There are three main requirements for marriage. If you find that any of these are missing, that’s okay. Just being aware of them gives you a chance to make them a part of your relationship or improve on them if needed.

Good Communication. You have to be able to talk to each other, not at each other. The secret to this is listening. That’s much more than hearing what your spouse is saying, you also have to pay attention and try to really understand. If you are unable to communicate with one another, then your marriage is headed for trouble. The good news is that better communication techniques can always be learned. That being said, communication will only work if you meet the next prerequisite.

Respect. Everything derives from respect. You take each other seriously (in a good way) and are accepting of you each are. Don’t talk down to each other. While you may each have different roles within the marriage, neither one of you is more important than the other.

Love. As the old saying goes, “Love conquers all”. When you have love, you can live with the other things not being what they should be. However, there can be a problem when only one of you are in love. This puts things too far out of balance, and means it will be harder to work things out. But as long as the feelings of love are mutual, there are no other requirements of marriage that really matter.

“I want my husband back” is the cry of many women who have seen their marriage start to crumble. It happens often times quietly and slowly and before you know it the marriage looks like it is coming to an end. If you aren’t willing to let your marriage die, if you aren’t willing to let it fall apart right before your very eyes, then do something about it. Here are some things that can help you get that love back when “I want my husband back.”

1.Realize that it wasn’t just you and it wasn’t just him. It was the both of you. If you are willing to make changes in the way you approach the marriage, your husband might be willing to. Some of it comes down to the way you look at the situation.

2.Realize that it wasn’t all one person who is at fault. “It takes two to tango” the saying goes. The same thing is true in any relationship. It isn’t just one person that makes it work and it isn’t just one person that causes it to fall apart. Don’t put all of the weight on your shoulders and don’t put it all on your husband’s. Pull your weight and encourage him by example to pull his own in trying to make things right.

3.Start with where you are in life and see where you are in life. Look at what it is that makes you happy and drives you. Look for the same thing with your husband. Try to find common ground. If there is love there, you will find that common ground.

4.Once you have found that common ground, try to find some way to use that to your advantage. If there is something that brings the two of you joy, try to find some way for the two of you to experience it together. Let it seem like a spontaneous thought and try to make it seem like it is his idea. Try and generate some excitement about it. Don’t go over board with the excitement, though.

5.When you are doing the things that the both of you love, let him know how special you think he is and how much you appreciate him. Let him know that you miss what you used to have. Let him know how you feel. It is easier to have those feelings reciprocated when you are both having fun doing something you love. Don’t be afraid to tell him, “I want my husband back.” You may just find out he wants the same thing.

You have to know that it may not be possible to get back the relationship to the level it was when it was at it’s peak. Just because “I want my husband back” doesn’t mean that it is the best thing to get it back to the way that it was. You should believe, though, that what you saw as the high point of your relationship doesn’t have to be the all time high point. The best in life is still to come if you are willing to do the work that you need to do. Tell yourself, “I want my husband back, but I want the relationship back stronger than ever” and then work to make it happen.