Is It Possible To Save A Marriage- Even The Best Have Problems

Many of the religions around the world view marriage as a sacred institution that is the foundation of the family. It is extremely important in these religions to make every effort possible to save a marriage when it seems to be in trouble.

Even the best of marriages will have their bad moments and these days there does seem to be more divorce than there once was many years ago. The roles of men and women have changed considerably over the years, there seems to be much more financial pressures these days and children seem to have more behavioral issues than in the past. These all put pressure on a marriage and some will struggle to get through it.

So what do you do if your marriage is in trouble?

The church is one good place to start if your marriage needs help, after all the church does value the sanctity of marriage very highly.

Sure there are family therapists, marriage counselors or clinical psychologists that you can visit but most of these will take on an individualistic approach to the counseling. A pastor or church counselor on the other hand will take a more wholistic approach which will have a much better chance of success.

Is there an advantage to seeing a pastoral counselor rather than a secular therapist?

A secular therapist has been educated in their field but their education is almost solely on treating individuals. Even those therapists who specialize in marriage and family therapy have only had perhaps on class or elective in how to deal with couple’s therapy. Because of their lack of education for a family as a whole this approach is not always the best.

On the other hand, a pastoral counselor is educated with the aim of helping couple’s work through their problems and brings them closer together. A pastor has the belief that once the vows of marriage are taken the marriage should be forever, with the exception of an abusive relationship.

Many pastoral counselors have undergone formal education for counseling and even those who do not have a formal degree will take some seminars and classes on this topic.

If you don’t attend church regularly then you may not have a pastor already at hand to help you. Some churches may require a membership term before you can approach the pastor for such counseling.

If you are in a circumstance where you cannot get pastoral counseling then you may want to consider a couples retreat. You can call some of the churches in your area to find out if they have any upcoming couple’s retreats. These are weekend seminars that can be quite effective at helping to bring couples back together. You can also use this opportunity to establish a relationship with a pastor at the retreat who may then be able to give you further marriage counseling.

Couple’s retreats can help you to work through many issues. You may have some couple sessions and there will also be some group sessions and there may be times when you get to work through questions individually.

Communication is encouraged and is very important at these retreats. Communication is vital in a marriage and if you can improve your communication you will have a good chance at repairing any damage and saving your marriage.

Other issues such as finances, child raising and even sexual relations will be addresses at a couple’s retreat. The goal here is to get you back on track on all areas of your relationship. The goal is that you and your spouse can learn to communicate about these issues and begin to understand one another’s feelings, so that you can both make changes to help maintain a healthy relationship.

Marriage isn’t always a bed of roses, there will be tough moments that you need to work together to get through. If you are having marriage problems then consider seeking pastoral counseling to save your marriage.

Forget Divorce – Save Your Marriage

Is your marriage having trouble to the extent that you are considering getting a divorce? Well have you thought about seeing a marriage counselor? There are many different marriage counselors and it can be difficult knowing which one is worth going to. Let’s take a look at some things you should look out for in a marriage counselor.

The first thing you need to do is to find out what their credentials are. There are basically three types of counselors as follows:

1. Ph.D. or Psy.D. level counselor. These counselors have put in the hard work to get their positions. They have been to graduate school for a minimum of five years and would have written a dissertation. They would have performed at least 3000 hours of therapy while supervised by an experienced psychologist. A person must have a doctoral level degree to be legally referred to as a ‘clinical psychologist’. Ph.D.’s, although they have put in the hard work, can tend to be more academic in nature and you may find that they will do a bit of forensic work along with the therapy.

2. M.S.W. – Master of Social Work. This type of counselor is trained to apply social theory to specific situations. They can work with individuals or with institutions.

3. M.S. or M.A. – or also known as ‘Marriage and Family Therapist’. These counselors may only work with individuals or with small groups. They will have gained a 2 year degree and have done 1500 hours of supervised therapy.

If you are planning to use insurance cover to help fund your marriage counseling then they will probably point you in the direction of a Marriage and Family Therapist or a M.S.W. as these are less expensive than a Ph.D. level counselor.

The second thing you need to do is find out how much the counseling will cost. You will find that clinical psychologists are generally more expensive and Marriage and Family Therapists will be the least expensive. The least expensive may not always be the best option, you need to choose the best option for saving your marriage.

You need to consider both the individual session cost as well as the overall cost for the entire length of treatment.

Some therapists may have a sliding scale fee and this is often based on a couple’s income. It is usually non-profit institutions that will offer this type of fee which can make counseling affordable for those who may not otherwise be able to afford it.

The third thing that you need to look at is the policies that a therapist has. Some questions you may want to ask are:

* Do you still pay for a session if you miss it or cancel it?
* If you go on vacation and let them know ahead that you will miss a session will you still be required to pay for it?
* Does the therapist accept phone calls at home or outside of normal session times?
* Is there an alternative therapist that you can call in an emergency?

A Marriage and Family Therapist is trained to help families work through any issues so it is their job to help you to save your marriage. You should feel comfortable talking to a counselor and if for any reason you just don’t feel comfortable with a particular therapist then you should stop seeing them and find one that you will be comfortable with.

Before giving up on your marriage and filing for divorce, try marriage counseling to try and save your marriage.

Are you thinking of divorce?  Save your marriage by seeing a marriage counselor.  There are many therapists who say they do marriage counseling, but how do you know which ones are really good?  This article will give you a checklist of things to look for in a family therapist.

First of all, you want to see what their credentials are.  There are three basic classes of counselors.

The first is the Ph.D. or Psy.D. level counselor.  These people went to graduate school for a minimum of five years and wrote a dissertation.  In addition, they performed a minimum of 3000 hours of therapy under the supervision of an experienced psychologist.  In order to legally call yourself a “clinical psychologist” the person must have a doctoral level degree.  Ph.D.’s are often more academic in nature and tend to do scholarly and forensic work along with therapy.

Then there is the M.S.W.  This means Master of Social Work.  Social Workers are trained to apply social theory to specific situations.  They can work in institutions or with individuals.

Finally, there is the M.S. or M.A. in Counseling.  Often called a “Marriage and Family Therapist,” these people can only work with individuals or small groups in counseling situations.  They tend to have 2 year degrees and may not have written a thesis.  They have 1500 hours of therapy under supervision.

If you are using your insurance to cover your marriage counseling, your insurance company will probably direct you to an MSW or a Marriage and Family Therapist because they are less expensive.

Second, you have to determine what the price will be.  Clinical psychologists tend to be the most expensive while Marriage and Family Therapists are the least expensive.  Remember you are trying to stop divorce.  Save marriage by finding the best fit not the most (or least) expensive professional.

Look at the per session cost as well as the overall cost for the expected length of treatment.

Often, therapists working in groups or non profit institutions will have a sliding scale fee based on a couple’s income.  If you qualify, this might make counseling affordable when it otherwise might not be.

Third, you need to look at the policies the therapist has.  Some of these policies include:

·    What happens if you miss or cancel a session?
·    Can you take a pre-planned vacation without having to pay for the session?
·    Will the therapist accept calls outside of the normal session?  Do they accept calls at home or just at the office?
·    Is there an alternative person you can call in an emergency?

A family counselor should help you put your family back together so that you don’t have split up.  Saving your marriage should be their ultimate goal.  If you don’t feel that you are in synch with your counselor, move on and find someone who can keep you from divorce and save your marriage.