Have you just broken up with a guy?  Are you lost without him?  Do you wonder if you can get him back?  Here’s some advice about a boyfriend break up.

First of all, decide whether the relationship is truly over.  Until you are able to say that he is part of your past and not your present and future, you will not be able to move on.

This is not to say that you have to put him in the past right away.  There are a number of steps you can take to get him back.  You can stay part of his life in a casual way hopping to become boyfriend and girlfriend again.

But, if you are ready to move on, there are a number of steps you can take to reach closure.  Closure is the process where you recognize that the relationship is over and you start to heal.

Perhaps the first thing you should do is communicate your hurt.  There are several ways to do this:

·    Talk to friends and family who are truly empathetic and can help you work through your feelings.  A true friend will do this, but many of your so called friends won’t be up to the challenge.
·    Go into short term therapy so you can work through your feelings with a dispassionate third party
·    Write down your feelings in a journal, in poetry, or in music.  This is an inexpensive way to express yourself and doesn’t require anyone else to participate.

Once you have come to some level of closure, get rid of anything you have of your ex’s.  These things will only remind you of him and the boyfriend break up.  Some things you’ll want to give back because they have value.  Other things you can just toss.  And, if he’s given you gifts that you want to keep, box them up and store them for the time being.

Next, figure out how you are going to spend your time now that you are not part of a couple.  You may feel that time hangs heavy on your hands.  Or, you may find that you are liberated by not having to do everything your ex wanted you to do.

Get involved in things that make you happy.  Go to the gym so that you look and feel good.  Spend some time getting pampered at the spa.  Take a Spanish class at the community center.  Or, start to volunteer with the Big Sisters of America.

By doing things that please you, you will become a happier person.  You will find that you miss your ex a lot less.

One of the ways you will know that you are over your ex is that you will start to develop feelings for a new guy.  Maybe these will be reciprocated.  Eventually, you will find a new man and form a new relationship.  That will be when you know you have really moved on.  The boyfriend break up won’t be so serious any more.

Did your boyfriend break up with you?  This is a rough time in your life.  You are probably hurting and want to know what caused your boyfriend break up.

First of all, while you can use this time to look at yourself and where you are in your life, don’t do too much introspection.  The truth behind why your boyfriend break up with you is that he had his own issues.  You know what they say, “it’s not you, it’s me.”

You can spend time trying to get your ex back.  If you are going to go down this route, you need to know the following things:

·    Don’t pester your ex – when your boyfriend break up with you, it meant that you have more limited access to him.  So don’t text him multiple times a day or call him a lot.

·    It’s okay to flirt with other guys in his presence.  It may even make him want you back more.

·    When you do get back together for a “trial date” be cheerful and friendly but don’t pressure him for more than he can handle.

But, if you have a feeling in your gut that the relationship is over when your boyfriend break up with you, then you need to start moving on.

One of the first things you can do after your boyfriend break up is to sit down and write a long letter to him pouring out your heart.  You can talk about the good times and bad.  You can tell him what a jerk he is and call him all sorts of names.  But, don’t mail the letter!  Instead, take a candle out and burn it.  This is one of the best ways to get closure after a boyfriend break up.

The next thing you need to do is do a property exchange.  Give him back the t-shirt that you love to sleep in.  Get the econ textbook you lent him.  If there are things like toothbrushes that are too trivial to exchange, throw them away.  Don’t have anything around that reminds you of him.  If you have gifts that he gave you, box them up for the time being.  If you have any money issues to resolve like debts to the other or a joint checking account, get them sorted out.

After you have completed the property exchange, agree that you won’t have any communication for 30 days.  This may be hard if you are used to seeing each other on a daily basis, but after a boyfriend break up it is necessary to give yourself some space and distance.

It hurts a lot when a boyfriend break up with you.  But it isn’t the end of your life.  You can even look at it as a good thing because it means that you are now free to meet your true soul mate.

Of course, you shouldn’t jump to the conclusion that just because you’ve gone through a boyfriend break up that all of the doors are firmly shut.  If you think you have a shot of winning him back and that’s something you want, you should by all means take the opportunity to do so.

True love can even survive a boyfriend break up.