The best spouse relationships are based on love and respect. That goes without saying, doesn’t it? Everyone probably realizes that love and respect are crucial to having a good marriage. But beyond love and respect there are a few things that can help spouse relationships.

Think back to when you were first married. If you’re newly married, think back to when you first met and were dating. How did you treat your partner?  You probably treated your partner with respect, but also with kindness and thoughtfulness.

Unfortunately, it’s common that the longer we know someone, the less kind we tend to be toward them. One would think that the opposite holds true. But we start to take the other person for granted and think they’ll always be there, no matter what.

Think of the last time you went to the bank or grocery store and spoke to the cashier. Maybe you exchanged words with a stranger. How was the tone of your voice and your words? You probably sounded like the sweetest person on the planet. That person might have thought “how polite” when you walked away.

Now think to the words and the tone of the voice you use with your spouse sometimes. When you get angry or you’re unhappy about something, think about how you sound. Would you ever speak that way to a stranger?  If you’re thinking “probably not” then you’ve started taking advantage of your spouse.

People do it with close friends, parents and children, too. If we could record people’s conversations and play them back at a different time, people might be ashamed of how they sounded. And they probably wouldn’t speak that way to someone they didn’t know well for fear of hurting their feelings!

Good spouse relationships are kind ones. Everyone gets angry now and then. And yes, everyone says things he or she regrets in an angry and even hateful tone of voice. But you can keep these instances to a minimum by just thinking about whether you’d talk to your postman or your boss that way.

Thoughtfulness is also an important factor in good spouse relationships. People love their spouses, but it seems the longer they’re together, they less they sometimes show it. Your spouse is one person you should make a point of being thoughtful toward, too.

In the beginning when you’re first dating someone or first married, you might send (or receive) flowers, cards and little surprises. Generally after people are married for a while, these sorts of things slow down or stop. Remembering to be thoughtful and surprise your spouse can help makes yours one of the better spouse relationships.

Try to keep in mind that marriage isn’t written in stone. There really are other opportunities out there for your spouse. Bring back some of the things you did and said when you were trying to win this person. Be kind and thoughtful as much as you can. Those combined with love and respect will make yours one of the enduring spouse relationships.

When you’ve broken up with someone you care about you have a hard time thinking of anything but how to get girl back.  If you truly want this to happen, you’ll probably have to make some changes. Whatever happened to cause the break up should be looked at.  Was it something you did, or didn’t do?  Is it something that you can still fix, or is it too late?

If it was something you did or didn’t do and you can fix it now, then fix it.  Undo something, or do something you should have done already.  Apologize and make amends.  This alone might not get girl back, but it’s the first step on the path to getting her back. If whatever happened can’t be fixed, then at the very least make sure she knows that you’re sorry and that you’d change what happened if you could.

Now that you’ve moved past what caused the break up, the next step to get girl back is to make her want you back. That sounds like common sense, but so many people don’t do it.  If the relationship ended with her angry, then you have to show her the you that makes her happy again. You’re going to have to be especially patient and forgiving.  Be as sweet as you can possibly be when you talk to her or see her.

Even if you’re angry at the time or you feel far from happy, at least show her the most pleasant side of yourself you can.  Make her remember your good qualities and what she liked about you when you were happy.  If she feels you have truly apologized for what caused the break up and she sees your sweet side again, you might be able to get girl back.

It’s important to pay close attention when you see or talk to her.  Listen carefully and don’t interrupt.  Let her express herself without jumping in and telling her how she ought to feel or what she ought to do.  You won’t get girl back by trying to boss her around!

You also need to pay close attention to see if your efforts are having an effect.  Sometimes you can see that she’s softening to you.  She talks nicer when she sees you, and you have been seeing her more often.  Maybe she even seeks you out more often than she did before.  Or she seeks you out now after ignoring you for a long time.  Your efforts to get girl back are working!

Because she’s so impressed with how sweet you are, she wants to be around you more.  And that only reminds her why she wanted to be with you in the first place.  Pay careful attention also if you suddenly stop seeing her as much as before, or she becomes distant or angry talking when you see her. That’s a good sign that you’re pushing and she’s uncomfortable. Take a break and you’ll have a better chance to get girl back.