Understanding just how to get your ex boyfriend back can often be a hit and miss affair and it’s no wonder, because as a rule we’re not taught this stuff.  We either have to make it up as we go along, or rely on our friends to help us out. But guess what?  Our friends equally have no clue how to help us and they’re also making it up as they go. But the reality is that it simply takes using a proven plan and then taking action on that plan, for you to win back your boyfriend.

Your first step should always be to distance yourself from your ex and this is an action to preserve your sanity as much as it to make a statement to your ex boyfriend.  This step will stop you fixating on your ex and give you the space to concentrate on your own needs and requirements to help you get through this stressful time.

Make a serious attempt to reconnect with your family and friends and accept any help that will undoubtedly come from those who love and care about you.  If you’re serious about figuring out how to get your ex boyfriend back it would be a huge mistake on your part to isolate yourself.  With people around you it means you’re not sitting at home crying and obsessing about the breakup of your relationship or your ex boyfriend.

Now, as you’re spending time with family and friends, find out from them what they saw as the downfall of the relationship.  I’m sure your boyfriend would’ve told you what he thought as he walked out, and you no doubt have your own ideas on what went wrong and why.  However, sometimes it takes the perspective of an outsider looking in to make sense of a relationship.  So if you seriously want to figure out how to get your ex boyfriend back then ask others for their opinions.

Your next move is to make sure that given what you’ve heard back from family and friends regarding their take on the breakup, that you now think for yourself. You either agree or disagree with what’s been said and of course you’re doubtless going to get different opinions from them all.  So take some time to weigh up what’s been said and the final decision is yours.  Yes you started out wanting to get your ex boyfriend back, but is it still what you want?  Perhaps you’ve heard some ‘truths’ that now put that quest in doubt?  Perhaps you’ve had time to come to terms with the breakup and you can more readily accept it?  Whatever and wherever you are, be clear on what you want before you make the next move.

If you’re still determined to go ahead and win him back, then your next move is to call him and to do so calmly and without emotion and drama and talk to him about the way you feel.

To win back lost love is not at all natural for everyone and it’s no wonder because it’s not something most of us have any real understanding of how to successfully do. However, if you want to get back with someone who you’re still in love with, then it is something you’re going to have to understand and implement.

Once your ex has left the relationship and you know you want them back, it’s time to start sorting out your head in order to get them back.  No doubt there has been drama and emotional turmoil in the run up to the breakup and during the actual breakup.  If you’re going to win back lost love you’re going to need to sort yourself out and do so on your own.

It is vital that you do not involve your ex as you attempt to clear your mind, because you need space and distance from your ex and they from you.  So, if you are still in any form of contact with your ex then break off that contact now.  Contact will only make you vulnerable.  If you’re vulnerable then you become someone whose ability to make rational and calm decisions becomes impaired.  Get out from under your ex and stand on your own two feet until you can honestly say that you are through the worst of the initial breakup.

Equally, do your best to avoid spending too much time on your own.  Because as much as you need to be away from your ex, you also need to have people around you. Spending too much time on your own brings a real risk of you becoming depressed and low.  You might also find that if you’re on your own too much, then you can struggle with the temptation to call or try to see your ex.  So find your friends.  If you need to make new friends, then do so.  Do anything to avoid being home alone night after night.

To win back lost love make sure that you are clear about the mistakes that were made in the relationship by you.  Yes your ex no doubt made their fair share of mistakes, but for now your concern is your own behavior since that is the only thing you can realistically control and affect.

Come to terms with your weaknesses and make sure that if you need to do some work on yourself that you put in place the right mechanisms to do so. That may involve discussing your situation with a professional or it might mean changing the way that you cope with certain situations.

Whatever you need to do to win back lost love, if you are serious, then you need to get on and do it before it’s too late.

If you’re serious about finding a way to win back love, then it means you’re going to have to start using your head and stop following your heart!  It really is that simple.

So let’s look at this!  Your heart is no doubt telling you to drop everything, chase down your ex and make them listen to what you have to say, whether they want to or not.  You heart has convinced you that all your ex has to do is to hear and understand just how much you miss, love and want them back and your ex will forget about everything that went wrong take you back on the spot!  Wrong!

To win back love your head would never tell you to do any of that, instead your head would say back off, get a grip and take your time.  Guess which one you should be listening to!  Yep, your head!

So, leave your ex alone, don’t call them, don’t try to accidentally bump into them wherever you know they hang out and don’t send them love notes – in short make no attempt whatsoever to contact them.

By contacting them, you’re making yourself appear desperate, a pain in the butt and someone that no right minded person would even want to be around never mind consider dating again.  Like a diamond that increases in value the rarer it is, where your ex is concerned, aim to be rare!  Let your ex wonder where you are and why they haven’t heard from you and just like that they will want to hear from you and see you.

If you’re stuck with a problem and the first person you would usually call is your ex, then you’re going to have to figure out how to solve that problem yourself.  Not only does this enhance your standing with your ex, because they realize that you can cope on your own, but it also enhances your own standing in your own head.  If you figure out how to cook that favorite meal that your ex used to cook for you – you realize you can cope!  If you figure out how to change the oil in your car – again you realize that you can cope!

The art to win back love is based in rationale and calmness.  Only then will your ex give you the time of day.  Whatever fire is burning in your heart for your ex, allowing it to run riot and influence you unduly will only be to your detriment.  Calm the flames of your passion and instead use the logical!  That is what will ultimately help you to win back love.

So you’ve been on your own for a couple of weeks now and you wake up one morning with this burning thought in your mind “I want my ex back!”  Which is a pretty normal reaction if you find that you’re still in love with your ex.  What is also natural is that you will find you have no real idea how to go about getting them back.  So you end up looking around for help in order that you don’t make a complete mess in your attempt to win them back.

Well first of all, before you go off trying to get your ex back, make sure that you’re not going through the natural grieving process that comes at the end of a relationship.  At the end of most  relationships there is a period when the hurt and missing is so intense that it is akin to the grieving process.  During this process it is very natural to have the feeling “I want my ex back!”and for that feeling to be all consuming.

This is because you are grieving for all the dreams and hopes you had that were wrapped up in your ex love and your ex relationship.  So make real sure that you’re not going through this process before you attempt to get them back.

Assuming that it is more than natural grieving, you are now ready to make good on your thought that “I want my ex back!” your next move should always be to figure out what went wrong.

This is important, because unless you take the time to go over the mistakes that you might have made, then getting back with your ex will only eventually lead to the same break down in the relationship as before and that will do neither of you any good.  So own your mistakes and anything that you might have done wrong to contribute to the break down of the relationship.

A vital tip to remember is not to focus on what you believe your ex might have done wrong.  Let them take care of their stuff for now and you take care of your own.  There is time in the future for the two of you to dig around in the collective causes, but for now, you must work on your own issues and mistakes.

If you’re sincerely clear that “I want my ex back!” then all that has been outlined is really the start that you need to take to get back with your ex and to secure a future for the two of you that will not fall into the same mistakes and pitfalls of before.

Having the one you love walk out on you is no fun and often your initial thought is “how do I get my ex back?”  Truth is most people don’t have much of clue what to do to get an ex back and they find themselves doing what won’t work and what will only push their exs further and further away.  Well today you can find the answers to your question, “how do I get my ex back?” without making all the same old mistakes that will result in failure.

Well first off running around town trying to see your ex and ‘accidentally’ bumping into them wherever you know they will be hanging out, will usually not work.  So if that’s what you’re doing as you wonder “how do I get my ex back?” then it’s time to change that now.

If the breakup has been a particularly rough one, then you’re going to need to give both yourself and your ex some time to get over that before you even attempt to make a real move to make up with them and win them back.

Take yourself out of that breakup drama by distracting yourself and occupying yourself with other things.  This might sound like you’re actually avoiding the issue of the breakup, but you cannot make sound and rational decisions if you’re still emotionally red raw from what was said or done by you or your ex in the heat of the moment.

You could take a class, take a trip or get fit!  Anything that is going to take you out of just sitting home and fixating on your ex.  Truthfully, doing the latter is a surefire way to make the wrong decisions and lose your ex for good.

As you’re taking some time out from your ex, it is a good idea to think about what went wrong and what role you played in the break down of the relationship. This is not necessarily to attribute blame, but instead to figure out what you need to do to make sure that you know the answer to your question “how do I get my ex back?”  Because as sure as eggs is eggs, if you sincerely want to find a way back with your ex, then you’re going to have to come up with a reason for your ex to take you back and that means having a plan to change any ‘bad’ behavior that you exhibited to help cause the breakup.

It really is that simple, give yourself some time to sort out your thoughts, figure out your role in the breakup and then approach your ex.