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Do you want to win love back?  The key is allowing your ex to have a little bit of time to figure out what they want from the relationship.  Tim and Rhonda learned this from Tim’s friend Joe.

Rhonda stormed out of Tim’s apartment one day saying she never wanted to see him again.  Tim was stunned.  All he could think about was how to win love back.

He called his buddy Joe and asked whether he should send flowers or candy.

“Neither,” Joe said.  “And don’t call, email, or text her either.”

Tim was stunned by this advice.  He wanted to win love back right away before Rhonda had a chance to “look around” and find someone better.

But Joe told Tim that giving Rhonda the space to “look around” was just what she needed.  There was a small chance that she would go forever, but the probability was that she would settle down and come back to him.  She must come to the conclusion that their relationship was special on her own terms.

Further, Joe advised, it would be bad if Tim looked too desperate.  This gave Rhonda the upper hand in many ways.  It would lead to further grand gestures in the future.  If he wanted to get the relationship back on track, Tim needed to give Rhonda space.

Tim and Rhonda both had a lot invested in the relationship.  They had been together 18 months and had even talked about marriage.  This was why it was such a blow to Tim when Rhonda walked out.

But Tim took Joe’s advice, as painful as it was, and waited for Rhonda to call.  It took her four days, but she finally contacted him.

The first thing she wanted to know was “why didn’t you call me?”  He told her “I was waiting for you to call.  I knew you needed space.”

He was right, and she knew it.  She actually appreciated the fact that he hadn’t called.  She knew that he had found a way to win love back.

As they talked about hwere their relationship had been and how to get it back on track, they discovered that one of the problems was that they had been crowding one another.  The thought of getting married had been suffocating.

So, they decided to back off.  They would still see each other exclusively, but they would make more time for friends and solo activities.  They wouldn’t talk about marriage again for six months.

Tim restrained himself from pursuing Rhonda when she needed space.  This allowed her to reevaluate her relationship with him on her own terms.

She initially thought that he would call her all the time.  She was actually surprised that he didn’t.  But, because he refrained from contacting her, she was able to see what her life was like without him in it.  And, it wasn’t as pleasant as she had imagined it would be.

So, if you’re determined to win love back, keep in mind that sometime what is needed is a little space.

Mike was at a loss as to how to get an ex girlfriend back.  Suzie had dumped him saying that he was a slob.  Mike and Suzie had been talking about moving in together and Suzie said she realized that she just wasn’t able to take a relationship to the next level when the partner couldn’t even maintain his own hygiene.  Now Mike was at a loss about how to get an ex girlfriend back.

Mike took a careful assessment of himself.  He noted that he often didn’t shave on the weekends.  He hadn’t had a haircut in 8 weeks.  Suzie had often casually mentioned that he might want to get a manicure but he dismissed this as “girl stuff.”

He also looked around his apartment and realized that it was a pig sty.  No wonder Suzie hadn’t wanted to set up housekeeping with him!

Armed with this crucial information about himself, he decided that he needed to win Suzie over.  The question was how to get an ex girlfriend back.

While Mike wasn’t very good at cleaning himself, he did hire a housekeeping service to do a deep clean on his apartment and then scheduled them to come in once a week.  He also asked the housekeeper to put doing his laundry on their list of things to do so that he would always have a clean shirt and pair of undershorts to wear.

He made a point to shower and shave every day – even when he wasn’t going to see anybody.  He figured making a habit of it would be a good idea.  Mike also made sure that he brushed his teeth morning and evening, something he had neglected from time to time before.

After Mike had cleaned up his act, the next step in his how to get an ex girlfriend back campaign was to write a letter to Suzie telling her about the changes he had made.  He even included photos of himself and his apartment.

Suzie was touched enough to agree to have coffee with Mike.  She really loved Mike, but had felt that nagging was the only way to get him to change.  She wanted to take the relationship to the next level and get a home together, but didn’t feel that she could live with such a slob.

Mike acknowledged her concerns.  He said that there were things that he could do a better job at, like taking care of his personal grooming.  He also said that he was unlikely to do a lot of the housekeeping, but he could hire a maid service to do that for him knowing that having a clean place was important to Suzie.

Suzie appreciated the efforts that Mike had made.  She said she wasn’t ready to change residences based on a few week’s efforts though.  Mike and Suzie agreed that they would start going out again and, in six month’s time, reconsider moving in together based on whether Mike had truly become less of a slob.

Mike decoded the secret of how to get an ex girlfriend back and saved a relationship that meant a lot to him.

When I think about how I lost love, I think about Alfred Lord Tennyson’s quote, “Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”  When I lost love, I felt the whole world had collapsed around me.  I’m sharing my story in order to help you if you too have lost the love of your life.

I think it is important to remember that every relationship has a natural lifespan.  In Junior High, that’s about four days.  As we get older, the lifespan increases.  But, there are certain relationships that are right for a period of time and then go awry.  Most of us will only have one great love in our lives.  The other relationships will terminate.  That’s why when I say I lost love, I understand that this is a natural process.

In my case, my girlfriend and I were thinking about ratcheting up our relationship.  Her lease was about to end, and she wanted to move into my apartment.  As we were spending most of our time there anyway, it made sense from a financial perspective.

But there is something significant about having separate places.  I know I lost love because I couldn’t handle her taking our relationship to this level.  I guess the time span of our relationship was up because I wasn’t willing to become more committed.

Now, I know I handled the situation badly.  I went to a friend’s bachelor party and let’s just say things got out of hand.  Word about the wild antics at the party got back to my girlfriend, naturally, and she dumped me.  I lost love over the events of one night.

But, when I think back on what really happened, the events of the bachelor party were really a reaction to our discussion of more commitment.  I seriously don’t think I would have behaved the way I did if I really wanted her to move in.  I lost love because I wasn’t ready for the direction it was taking.

I’m glad I had the chance to be in a relationship with my ex.  But I don’t think she was the love of my life, my soul mate.  Instead, she was someone with whom I genuinely enjoyed spending time.  I loved her.  I still love her.  But, she is not the person with whom I see spending the rest of my life.

I went through a period of mourning the relationship and analyzing what went wrong.  I really was hurt when she said she wanted to end things.  Sure, I understood that I had hurt her.  But, I didn’t want her to leave my life completely.

I guess what I wanted was for things to continue on the way they were.  But, every relationship has to grow or die.  Because I wasn’t willing to let it grow, it had to die.  In every relationship, there is a time to die.  And, for me, this was it.  That’s how I lost love.