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The Magic of Making Up from TW Jackson has helped thousand of people cope with the confusion and pain caused by a break-up. Learn the symptoms of heartbreak and the mistakes commonly made when trying to get back with an ex. The Magic of Making Up walks you through what you need to say and the actions to take to help rebuild a relationship and reunite you with your ex.

Archive for March, 2011

The 6 Worst Ways To Get An Ex Back

Whether you were involved in a marriage of many years, or you were only dating for a few months, you went through a break up and are now looking for ways to get an ex back. There’s nothing wrong with that, and the good news is that there are many, many methods of getting back together with an ex. You should be able to find such advice with relative ease. However, there is just as much, if not more value in knowing the things to avoid. With that in mind, here are six things you should NOT do if you want your ex back.

1. Harass their friends mercilessly. See, your ex’s friends will have some idea of what they’re up to, if they’re seeing somebody and how they feel about you. Yes, friends are a goldmine of juicy information, so do whatever you can to track them down and get the dirt you need.

2. Stalking. No matter where they are, you will be there. Sending a message to your ex that you are not going to let go…no matter what is one way to get their attention. It’s also one of the worst things you can do, and is likely to get you in trouble with the law.

3. Talk to your ex’s new partner. If your ex is now seeing somebody else, you may want to talk directly to them. Be sure to let them know that you are the only person your ex could ever truly love. Of course, the reality is that it will only make your ex like you less and is not the best of ways to get an ex back.

4. Call your ex’s employer. You may want to talk to your ex, and it may be the only way you will get your chance. Or, you may wish to talk to their boss to learn more about what your ex has been up to. This is definitely a big no-no.

5. Call them every chance you get. Hey! You’re not trying to drive them absolutely crazy, you just want to talk, right? Call them too much, and they end up blocking your number. Not to worry, you can call from a friend’s phone, or get a disposable if you need to. (Remember, these are NOT ways to get an ex back)

6. Use their words against them. That’s right. Try to recall everything they have ever said and find a way to use it against them. You will win (or lose, depending on how you look at it) extra points if you can use their words out of context to make bizarre points. Don’t be surprised, though, if they start saying new words that are more “colorful”.

You should be able to easily see just how wrong the above ways to get an ex back are. Doing any of the above things are sure to push your ex further away, and could get you into serious trouble. On the other hand, if you do the opposite of any of the above, you will be on the right track.

Marriage Retreats For Better Relationships

magic of making upIf you have a perfect marriage and there is absolutely nothing that would make it better, then this article isn’t for you. On the other hand, if you are a normal couple that sees room for improvement in you relationship then read on. What we are talking about is marriage retreats. These may be just what you need to have an even better marriage than you have now, regardless of what shape it’s currently in.

Just what are these marriage retreats? They are basically a weekend or week away from home, where you spend time with other couples and relationship experts to work towards a better marriage. There will normally be some structured time along with periods of free time where you can reconnect with one another in a more personal setting.

One of the things that makes a marriage retreat so different is that it is held outside of your home. This location helps you to focus on the things you need to focus on. You are too entrenched in your daily routine when you are at home. Life has a nasty habit of getting in the way of the things that really matter. This can distract you from looking at your relationship to the extent that it is worthy of.

By getting away from it all, you can slow down and focus on the one thing you are at the retreat for, and that is to improve your marriage. The one thing you won’t be doing is taking your relationship for granted. The truth is that a fair portion of the couples at the retreat have been taking each other for granted to some degree.

Another thing you should know is that marriage retreats are not only for those whose marriages are in deep trouble. They will certainly help the tougher cases, but they will also make good marriages even better. By going to a retreat you are showing each other that you are making the commitment to have a better relationship. This means you are already starting off on the right foot before the retreat even begins.

While you may normally have difficulty talking to each other about your marriage, you will quickly learn ho to feel at ease at a retreat. Yes, it may take a little bit of time to warm up to the idea, but it will happen. The people running the retreat are experts at getting couples to communicate. You can also be sure that they have seen situations like yours (or worse) many, many times before.

The whole key to getting the most out of marriage retreats is to participate as fully as you can. You will most likely feel awkward at first, but that’s normal. Just keep doing your best and you will get up to speed in no time. It’s okay to feel uncomfortable. After all, you are going to the retreat for a reason (as is every other couple that’s there), so you may as well make the most of it.

Going through a break up is one of the toughest things that people have to go through as part of their lives. People get hurt, and it can be hard to face each new day. However, as time passes, we start to miss our ex, and it gets to a point where we want them back so much, that we start to question ourselves, we want to know “Why do I want my ex back?”

While such a question may play tricks with your head, you should know that it is perfectly reasonable, and that many other people have asked the same question. It is not a sign that you are going crazy, far from it. Your friends keep telling you that you should just move on and forget about your ex, and you agree with them, at least on the surface. But deep down, you keep hearing that little voice telling you to try to get back with your ex. However, there are a few things to think about before you take the next step.

We are working under the assumption that you are asking “why do I want my ex back?” No problem. The first thing you should do is consider what you have just gone through. Remember, a break up can cause problems with your emotions, and prevent you from thinking as clearly as you normally would. This doesn’t mean your thoughts are right or wrong, but you should look at them closely to see how you really feel, and what the real cause of those feelings are.

Chances are that the both of you didn’t meet and instantly have a deep, meaningful relationship; it just doesn’t happen. Especially if either one of you had been hurt before. Relationships typically take time to grow and develop. They also take some work and a certain level of compromise. Needless to say, putting this amount of effort into something, only to see it fail can be devastating. In other words, you don’t really want your ex back, what you really want is for the relationship to work out. After all, you have a part of your heart and soul invested into it.

After you have taken some time to consider why you want your ex back, it’s time to take action. There are really only two choices you have at this stage. You may decide that your mind is playing tricks on you, and that you don’t really want them back. In this case all you need to do is live with those thoughts and let them eventually subside. Your other choice is to accept that your mind is ending you the right message and that you really do want your ex back. If this is your choice, then you have your work cut out for you.

You will have to contact your ex and let them know how you feel. You will have to try to patch things up and show them that it can work out this time. There are changes you’ll have to make, but if you are serious about getting back together, it won’t be too difficult. By following the above advice you will be able to answer the question of “why do I want my ex back” by saying, “I’m glad we’re back together.”

Most people would count their wedding day as one of the happiest days in their lives. Marriage is often defined as “two people taking a voluntary vow to remain together for life”. That’s a fair definition of marriage, but it isn’t going to do much for keeping you happy. So, that leads to the question of what marriage really means.

Perhaps the better solution is to define what marriage means to you. Then ask your spouse (or soon to be spouse) what their definition is as well. This will give each of you a better idea of what the relationship is all about. It can also give you interesting insights into what your partner thinks about being married, and lead to a meaningful conversation about the subject.

It is often said that 50% of marriages in America end in divorce. The truth is that that statistic is questionable at best, but even if the real number is closer to 30% it means the odds of splitting up are far too high. That doesn’t mean a divorce is in your future and that you are doomed from the start, far from it. However, it is a good reason to make sure you practice communicating with one another. And if you have the same ideas and expectations about what does marriage really mean, then you will further increase your odds of staying happily together.

As mentioned, each of you will probably have a different definition of what being married means to you. There is nothing wrong with that, you are both individuals. However, it is a worthwhile exercise to create a common definition of marriage as well. One that you can both agree with, and the one that will be what your marriage is about. You can both keep your own definitions, of course, but they should be in harmony with your agreed up definition.

Let’s face it, most couples will never take the time to do this. That’s a shame because it helps to bring you even close together. It helps build good communication. On top of that, you will both have a much clearer idea of what your marriage means to you. Besides, it doesn’t really take all that much time when you consider the impact it has on a lifetime of happiness.

Once you have decided what marriage means, you can both then work to protect it. Can you imagine the positive impact this can have on your relationship? How wonderful! There is no second guessing what the other person really thinks, and you will both be made stronger because of it. It doesn’t seem too far-fetched to say that if every couple did this, then the divorce rate would be much lower than it is now.

Finally, you will notice that we are talking about coming up with your own personal definition of what marriage means to you as a couple. Sure, the dictionary and legal definitions are important to know, but they can’t compare to coming up with your answer to what does marriage really mean.

How To Get Your Ex Back With Humility

Anybody who has been hurt after going through a break up understands how difficult it is to move forward, and how common the question of how to get your ex back is. In virtually every single case, both of you were to blame to some extent. In other words, both of you have hurt feelings, and both of you played a role in causing those hurt feelings. The ability to forgive is absolutely critical to mending a relationship, and must be part of the equation of how to win your ex back.

Getting your ex back means that you will have to learn to be humble. And it will be much easier if your ex demonstrates humility as well. This is the opposite of selfishness, and it’s being selfish that is at the root of a troubled relationship. You have to make up your mind that you are not the most important person in the couple, but that both of you are.

Let’s face it, we are all human, and that means we are all prone to making mistakes. While there may be some mistakes that are too big to move beyond, the truth is that most mistakes are quite minor in the bigger scope of things. Things said during the heat of an argument can sting, but they also tend to be exaggerated. That doesn’t make them okay, but remember how easy it is to say things you don’t really mean when you’re not thinking all that clearly.

Perhaps you have been on the receiving end of harsh words. If so, try to consider the context. Was it really meant to be the other person’s true feelings? Or, is it possible that the comments were made in the heat of the moment, and blown out of proportion? Before you answer too quickly, take a look at yourself and ask if you have ever said things you don’t really mean yourself. You will have an easier answer to how to get your ex back once you are able to see things for what they really are, instead of taking them too personally.

Now, even though you may not have meant a lot of the things you said or did, it’s still up to you to make amends for your actions. Notice that it says “make amends” and not “make excuses”. A heartfelt apology can go a long way toward patching things up. You will have to be able to work things out if you want to have any chance of getting back together.

All of this goes beyond an honest apology. You also have to show that you aren’t going to make the same mistakes again. And that brings us full circle to the idea of humility. When you love each other and are willing to learn how to get your ex back, then you don’t need to prove you are right, or somehow better than the other person. Instead, you will work together to build a relationship that works the way both parties would like it to work.