There is HOPE. Did you know that most
relationships CAN be salvaged?

The Magic of Making Up from TW Jackson has helped thousand of people cope with the confusion and pain caused by a break-up. Learn the symptoms of heartbreak and the mistakes commonly made when trying to get back with an ex. The Magic of Making Up walks you through what you need to say and the actions to take to help rebuild a relationship and reunite you with your ex.

Archive for July, 2010

How can you get your wife back now before it is too late?  Most people who have been close to leaving a marriage know that the longer you wait, the more you risk not being able to turn back time and rediscover the reasons why you got married in the first place. The more time that goes by after a split, the more room there is for another person to become involved.  Your wife may be feeling lonely and unloved and there is always someone waiting in the wings to help her recover her groove.

Marriages break down for all sorts of reasons but the main one is a lack of communication. Life can just sometimes get in the way. There may not have been an affair or other serious issue. You may just have simply drifted apart. Perhaps you thought your wife and your relationship would always be there.

It is easy to take your significant other for granted without meaning too. We often spend more time worrying about our friends or our kids while believing that our other half is fine. By the time you factor in the time spent on our jobs and our kids, it leaves very little for our Mrs. This can lead to your wife feeling you no longer love her or have time for her.

Love is like a plant. It takes care and nurturing to blossom. Without sunshine (attention), it withers and dies. However just like a plant, love can be revived if your willing too put out the effort.

Try talking to your wife and find out why she left. Is there something in particular that she is unhappy with? Perhaps she believes you are involved with someone else. If you are not, convince her of your innocence. If you are, you need to make a decision as to which person you want to be with. You cannot have two significant others in your life and expect life to go on as before.

Remind your wife of the good times you shared and all the reasons why you fell in love with her. Flatter her but be sincere, remember she knows you perhaps better than you know yourself. Don’t get angry or try laying blame at her door. Never threaten her, your kids or imply that you will harm yourself. You will only frighten her or else she will pity you. Neither emotion is the one you are looking for.

Admit that although you both have made mistakes, now is the time to move on and work things out. Perhaps you won’t be able to get your wife back but at least you will have tried everything.

Don’t be too heavy or too desperate. You want her to find you attractive again and nobody likes a desperate man. Be strong and confident. Show her exactly what you want while at the same time convincing her that you are prepared to do what she wants or at least meet her more than half way.

Go get your wife back now and hopefully you will get to celebrate your golden years together yet.

Relationships are difficult at the best of time but sometimes we need additional help. So where can you find help for a troubled relationship?

If you and your partner are still speaking, why not make a date together at your favorite restaurant. A public place is great for a chat about your feelings as you are more likely to keep your temper under control. You cannot let your cozy chat descend into a shouting match or you will disturb the other diners.

Sometimes a little work and some private chats are all that is needed to sort out the troubles in a relationship. Life gets so busy that it is easy to lose track of our loved ones and to end up ignoring them or causing them to feel neglected. A few “couple only nights” may be all you both need to get back on track.

If you cannot talk alone, why not ask a trusted friend or family member to act as mediator. This can be a difficult step to take and not one that you should enter into lightly. You must pick someone who has the ability to act impartially. This is not the time for any third party to be taking sides.

What you are looking for is someone who can help you and your partner to talk openly about the problems you are having.  Someone who has been in a long term relationship, for a long period of time,  will probably better understand the difficulties a couple can face. Single people may understand the theory but not having had the practice will find it difficult to dispense advice.

Often it is not possible for you to find a suitable friend or family member so why not try couple counseling? People believe that these services are only available for married couples but that is not the case. There are some services dedicated to those that are married but others are for couples who live together or share time together.

Check your local phone directory to see what services are available. Be careful when choosing your advisor though. If possible, go on a personal recommendation. Your doctor or religious adviser may be able to help. Or ask your counselor if they have clients who are willing to give them a testimonial.

It is much better if both of you meet the counselor as it is important you are both comfortable talking to this person. You will be discussing intimate details and this is impossible if you do not like the counselor. They will probably want to meet you together as a couple and perhaps separately as well. Find out how many meetings you will be expected to attend and when you are likely to see results.

The good news is that if both parties are amenable to seeking help for a troubled relationship, you stand a great chance of sorting out your issues and going back to the happy couple you once were.

So you are thinking of getting back together after a long time apart. Can it work? Well that depends really on how much you both want it to and what caused the breakup in the first place. You are more likely to succeed if you have the backing of your friends and family.

Often we break up when we are young, as we are both immature and just don’t know what we have; until we lose it.  Other times we can kill off a relationship, because we relocate with our jobs or our families. Often the break up has nothing to do with the people involved just the timing or distance is wrong.

But sometimes there were specfic reasons why we broke up and if these reasons still exist, then you need to work out why you want to get back together. Absence can make the heart grow fonder but be aware that memories get distorted and you could be remembering events that didn’t quite happen that way. Experts call this the “rose coloured glasses” effect.

However, if you are thinking of getting back together after a long time apart, there must be a physical and emotional attraction between the two of you. Physical attraction is great and this is what generally brings couples together initially. But unless it is accompanied or followed over time by an emotional connection, the physical stuff just isn’t enough to sustain a relationship.

Long term successful partnerships are based on mutual respect, love and commitment. If you miss out any of these three key ingredients your chances of spending your twilight years together diminish. I know that Hollywood films would have you believe that a great romance is based on lust and physical attraction. You can be easily fooled into thinking the man just has to sweep you off your feet and you will live happily ever after.

Unfortunately, real life isn’t like that and you will have certain trials to face as a couple. A couple who are deeply committed to each other, on every level, is much more likely to survive the problems; real life throws at them.

Perhaps you two were together for a long time. Maybe you even had a family together before you split up. If this is the case, you need to be sure that you are getting back together for the right reasons and not because your kids want you to.  Just as a couple should never stay with each other solely for the sake of their children, nor should they get romantically involved again for this reason.

Getting back together after a long time apart can be an exciting adventure. Just take things slowly and who knows, perhaps a marriage or remarriage may just be over the horizon.

Breaking up is something that is incredibly hard to do. Eventually, people move on and go on to new relationships and new adventures. Sometimes, someone who was in the relationship wants to get back together. It can be confusing to understand what to do when your ex girlfriend wanting to get back together. If you follow a few simple steps and tips, however, you can be sure to handle the situation correctly.

Ask for Space

The first thing that you need to do is ask for space. Do so gently, and with the understanding that you are taking this time to think about what she is saying. You need to make sure that you are not smothered. You want to make the right decision. Her emotions are running high, and they may skew your thoughts positively or negatively. Simply ask for some space. If possible, give her a timeline. This will help her to understand how much space you need.

Take Your Mind Off of It

After you are approached, you need to take your mind off of the entire situation. You may feel a rush of emotion when she asks you back. Take a day to take your mind off of the issue so that you can approach the idea with a clear head. Hang out with friends and do things that you enjoy doing. This should help you to take your mind off of the situation.

Consider Your Situation

When you are able to start thinking about getting back together, think about your current situation. Could you handle a girlfriend again? Would you be willing to give a few things up to have that relationship again? If you think that your situation would not be good for a relationship, and you are not willing to change, you may not be ready.

Think About Why You Broke Up

Finally think about why you broke up. Was it your idea or hers? Was it something that she did, or something that you did? If it is something that is changeable or fixable, are you willing to do the work, or give it another chance? This should also help you to decide whether or not you want to get back together.

In Short

It is important to think about yourself in this situation. While you may have your ex girlfriend wanting to get back together, you need to do the right thing for you. Ask for some space when she first approaches you. Do so in a way that helps her to understand that you need time to think, and that you need some space to do so. From that point, take your mind off of it. You want to think clearly. When you are ready to do so, think about your situation, and why you broke up. This should help you to understand what you want to do.