Are you still holding a candle for your ex, telling your friends and family ‘I lost the love of my life’? If that sounds like you then there might still be hope to get your relationship back. There are some things anyone can do to make an ex fall madly in love with you all over again. You really can rekindle that old flame.

The first thing you need to think about is what might have gone wrong. Stop worrying about telling people ‘I lost love‘ and think about what positive steps you can take instead. When you can identify what you think went wrong in the relationship, you’re in a good position to begin working on tactics to rectify it and then put some things in place to get your relationship back.

All relationships begin filled with excitement and adrenaline. You both want to please the other person, so you make a big effort to look good and say the right things. You both enjoy each others company, because you’re both trying really hard to be enjoyable.

At this point most relationships move into a comfortable phase, where you both feel a little more relaxed. This is the phase where many relationships break up and it can take anywhere from a month to a year to reach this point, and even longer with other people.

Unfortunately, some women misread the signals from their man. They think his comfortable phase means he’s pulling away. Most women’s first instinct is to try hard to bring him closer again. The usual tactic they try is to cling tighter to him, wanting to see him more often and wanting him to reassure her that he’s not leaving.

The reality is men view these tactics as desperation and neediness, which makes them pull away. When their fun-loving, happy girlfriends begin these frantic efforts to cling to them, men feel as though they’ve lost the girl they fell in love with. Instead, they have a stranger who is making him feel as though he can’t do anything right. This is the main reason why men begin to pull away from their girlfriends.

By taking a bit of time out after a break up and working on finding your own confidence again means that you’ll realize you have the power to make yourself happy. You can pursue interests that please you or hang out with friends who make you feel good. These activities should also help you to realize that you don’t need your ex to make you feel happy. You can do that yourself.

With your new self-confidence and positive attitude, you’re in a much better position to call your ex and suggest getting together for a friendly chat over a cup of coffee. Let him see that you’ve found that happy, confident girl he fell in love with and his feelings will come rushing back. Remember, in the beginning of your relationship, it was the happy, easy going version of you that he fell in love with.

No relationship is perfect and of course you’ll have moments where things aren’t so perfect, but by making sure you both enjoy the time you spend with each other, you’ll be less likely to be telling people ‘I lost love‘ and more likely to tell people ‘I found the love of my life’.

It doesn’t matter if you’ve been in a relationship for a while or if it’s brand new, most people will reach a point where they are considering taking their relationship to the next level.  The next level could mean anything from physical intimacy to a walk down the aisle.  No matter what the next level is for you, now is the time to start  evaluating your relationship with your partner.

While it may seem like this would be an easy thing to do it can actually be very difficult.  There are a few reasons why achieving an honest evaluation can be a tough thing for people:

1) If you wait too long to honestly access the quality and strength of your relationship you may already be in too deep to be able to objectively analyze the weak points in your partner and your relationship.

Once you’ve fallen for that person you will see only what you want to see.  Few people will still have the strength to honestly admit that there might be a problem. They will turn a blind eye and pretend that everything is great.

2) During the early days and most of the ‘dating phase’ of a relationship your partner, and you, can be very guarded and careful of what they let the other see.  With some people it’s a deliberate attempt to hide their true colors with other’s it’s a more innocent “putting the best foot forward” type of thing.

Either way this tendency can make an honest evaluation very difficult.

One of the most important things you can do to try to have a secure and fulfilling relationship is to honestly evaluate the strength of your partner and the relationship early on.

It’s also important to take your time.  Too many people ignore the warning signs because they just want to be with someone so badly they are willing to be mistreated just so they don’t have to be alone.

If you really want a strong relationship make sure you are strong first.  If you are happy with you and you have made a full life for yourself filled with people and activities that make you happy, then you won’t be so desperate for a relationship that you  allow yourself to be mistreated.

Honestly evaluating your relationship with your partner is something everyone should do, but few actually do.  The earlier you do it the easier it will be to see things clearly as they really are and not just as you want them to be.  That is the difference between a happy and loving relationship and an unhappy and potentially abusive relationship.

The emotional roller coaster of a painful breakup generally affects both parties in similar ways.  The intensity may be different for the person who wanted the breakup than for the ‘dumpee’, but both people will go through the emotional stages of a relationship breakup.

Knowing and recognizing the different steps for what they are can help you move through the process a little easier.  Each stage is necessary so you can heal and be whole and able to find love again some day.  Don’t try to shortcut the steps, just remember that after you’ve gone through each step you will be on the road to feeling better.

There is no time limit for how long each step should take to get through. How long it takes will depend on a lot of things such as how secure you are in  yourself and what type of a support system you have.

Here are the 5 major steps in a relationship breakup:

1) Pain.  This will often hit hard and fast.  At first the pain can be diminished somewhat by a feeling of disbelief but once that passes the pain can seem unbearable.  This is a physical pain.  You might not be able to eat or sleep.  Everything seems like too much effort. You just want to crawl into a corner and be left alone.

2) Denial.  This is the step when you start thinking that it is all a big mistake and surely your ex will realize it very soon and the two of you will be back together.  That can be a dangerous way to think.  It is important that you try to move through this stage as quickly as possible.  Lingering too long in this stage can really make it harder to heal and move on.

3) Anger.  This is when all your fear and hurt turns to anger.  You are outraged that someone who claimed to love you could hurt you so deeply.  This stage is very destructive and hurtful to both parties and if you’re not careful how you handle this stage you migh sabotage any chances you have of getting back together.

It’s also important to make sure you don’t become overly bitter.  If you let that bitterness grow too strong it could follow you into other relationships making it harder to ever having a fulfilling relationship again.

4) Grieving.  At this stage you will mourn your lost relationship.  You will often spend a lot of time reminiscing about all the good times the two of you had shared.  It is very important to keep a close watch on your mental health during this stage.

If you ever feel like ‘ending it all’ make sure you seek help immediately.  It is impossible to believe while going through this but you really will love again, if you allow yourself to.

5) Acceptance.  You will finally reach a point where you realize it’s over.  You are stronger and better able to start thinking more about your future and less about your past. This time can be bittersweet: you’ve realized and dealt with the fact that your relationship is over which is sad, but you’re also excited about new opportunities and convinced you will find love again.

The more you know about the  emotional stages of a relationship breakup and how to deal with them the easier and quicker you can move on from living in the past to a bright new future.  Just make sure you understand that this is all normal and it will get better, just hang in there.

It’s a classic and tragic story.  Boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy just wants girl back.  Even though it happens everyday that doesn’t make it any easier when it’s you that’s going through it. It is still painful and it still sucks.

You don’t need to give up though.  There are a few things you can do that will make things easier, make you a better man and maybe help you get your ex girlfriend back too.

1) The first thing you want to do is cease and desist all calls, texts, emails, etc.  It will be one of the hardest things you’ve ever done but you have to stop chasing her.  Think about it for a minute.  When someone is chased what do they do?  That’s right, they run.  You don’t want to push her further away from you.  Back off and give her some space.

Remember, no one likes a weak, whiny, insecure person.  That’s just not a turn on. Your ex is no different.  Don’t cling or you will only push her further away.

2) Have fun.  I know that this sounds like ridiculous advice, but it’s important.  It kind of relates to step 1.  Go out with friends and try to live everyday to the fullest.  If you can do this you will benefit in a couple of ways.

For one thing she will hear about all the fun you’re having and she will start to miss the fun the two of you used to have.  She will also remember why she fell in love with you in the first place.

It will also help you to keep your mind off of your ex for a little while.  That is a good way to keep from going crazy during this difficult time.

A word of caution though: don’t use this step as a pathetic and childish attempt to make her jealous.  That is very immature and doesn’t work.  If  you really care about your ex and you want her back you should avoid stupid, destructive and childish games.  No good relationship can ever be built on those traits.

3) Try to communicate with her.  Don’t argue, or badger.  Just talk…and listen.  This isn’t about being right, it’s about trying to truly understand where the other person is coming from.  This is a time to put your ego on hold.

Few things in life suck as much as losing someone you love.  It’s very hard to deal with and many people will do just about anything to find out the best way to get a woman back.  If you want to get back with your ex, don’t give up. It is possible and I’ll show you how.

In order to get back with your ex you’re going to need to think outside the box.  When most people are trying to get back with their ex they almost always do the wrong things.

That is why listening to your friends might be the worst thing you can do because chances are they’ll tell you to do the exact opposite of what you should really be doing.

Here is a list of some Do’s and Don’ts.  Follow this list and you will have a much better chance of getting back with your ex.

DON’T S

1) Harass, badger, nag, or threaten.  No one likes to be pushed.  Don’t chase after her.  She already gets the fact that you still care and you want her back, now it’s time to back off a little bit and give her some space.

2) Lock yourself in your house and never go out.  This is what many people do.  They go to work but other than that they just hide in a dark room.

3) Hookup with someone else.  Not only is this a good way to lose your girlfriend for good, it’s also unfair to the new woman.  You would just be using her to get over your hurt.

DO’S

1) Give your woman some space.  Give her time to miss you.  She can’t remember you fondly and miss you if you are constantly in her face.  This can be very difficult to do but it’s one of the most important things to remember if you want her back.

2)  Go out with your friends.  Try to have fun.  It will be hard, but it’s very important not only for your mental health but also so that your ex will start to see you, again, as a fun loving person.  The way she saw you when you first got together.

3) Be honest about whether or not the relationship is worth saving.  Not all relationships should be saved.  Also be willing to honestly admit whatever part you had in the relationship falling apart and be willing to make some changes to your behavior.