Do you really want to get back together with your ex?  You may have an instant reaction that “of course I want to get back together.”  But, you should do some soul searching before you answer this question.  There was a reason you broke up, and if this reason or reasons are not addressed, you will repeat the cycle.

If you get back together with your ex, are you going to be really happy?  Or, will you wind up down the same road that got you here in the first place?

After you break up, you may be only thinking about the good times.  You’ll forget about all of the problems you had.  You’ll think about how lonely you are without him or her not how frustrated you used to get with them.

After a break up, you need to be brutally honest about what you want out of a relationship.  Think about both the good times and the bad times before you make any decisions.

Some relationships are not worth saving.  If you fought more than you loved, you might want to consider whether there might be a better fit with someone else.  Above all, a couple should make each other happy.  If you couldn’t do this with your ex, you might want to consider moving on.

That’s not to say that a relationship can’t be saved after a break up.  If you want to get back together after you’ve done some soul searching, that can be done.  The rest of this article will be devoted to getting back together once you’ve decided it’s worth it.

One thing that you need to keep in mind is that you don’t want to “stalk” your ex.  This is not just following him or her around.  It also means not repeatedly calling, emailing, or texting them.  Don’t stalk them on their social networking sites either.  All of these things make you seem desperate.

When you do talk, don’t plead or beg them to get back together with you.  Don’t present an aura that you have been “wrong” and you’ll do better in the future.

You may be beating yourself up about the things you did in the past.  But the past is the past.  Now, you want to move forward.

At the present time, the relationship is over.  You don’t have a time machine to go back and change things.  Now, you need to concentrate on the things you can do in the present.

Instead, back off and give your ex some space.  When you do talk, bring up the fun times you shared and the things you like about them.

Your ex may suggest meeting in a non threatening manner.  If he or she doesn’t, you can suggest it.  Perhaps you can go to Starbucks and have a coffee.  It might lead to a “real” date and then you’re back on your way to being a couple again.

Traci wanted to get her guy back.  She wasn’t in a good position to do so however.  She had accused her ex, Cory, of flirting with her best friend.  Traci knew that Cory was just being friendly, but she was having a bad day and she took it out on Cory.

Now Traci is contrite and she wants to get her guy back.  Unfortunately, the guy doesn’t want to be gotten back.  He wants nothing further to do with Traci.  What’s a girl to do?

First of all, Traci needs to apologize.  This needs to be a sincere apology.  If he doesn’t want to listen to her, she should write a note.

There are three components to a genuine apology.  First of all, there is a recognition that what she did was wrong.  Then, there is an introspection as to why she did it.  Finally, there is a commitment to not do it again.

For instance, Traci needs to say “Brian, I was wrong to accuse you of flirting with Sandy.  I was feeling insecure for a number of reasons that had nothing to do with you and I snapped.  I realize that I hurt you badly and I’m sorry.  In the future, I will be careful not to lash out at you when I’m feeling crummy about myself.”

Next, she needs to sit back and allow Brian to process what she’s said.  This may just take a few minutes or it could take days.  If he’s not initially receptive, she should not contact him until he contacts her.  That means that she shouldn’t call, email, or text him.  She shouldn’t engage him on social networks.  She shouldn’t send him gifts or letters.

She should also avoid having friends intercede for her.  Having a friend contact Brian would be the same thing as Traci contacting him herself and there is always the possibility that the friend could (deliberately or not) miscommunicate the message.

Instead, Traci should wait for Brian to contact her.  He will, eventually, if only to get his stuff that she has back.  This is Traci’s opportunity to strike.

She should keep things light.  She shouldn’t go overboard and tell him how much she’s missed him or how sorry she is about the situation.

Instead, she should bring up some of the positive experiences they’ve shared.  If that goes over well, she can talk about the little things that she’s missed such as his smile or the way he always holds the umbrella when it rains.  Then, she should suggest they meet for a not-date date such as a short get together at a coffee shop.

If he is agreeable to coffee, they can discuss more weighty matters.  She can apologize again at that point and recommit to not making the same error again.  At that point, she can say that she misses having him in her life and would like to get back together.

Traci has let Brian blow off any steam he had about the incident.  She has also given him both time and reasons to want her back.  At that point, she doesn’t have to do much work to get her guy back.

Do you know how to win your ex girlfriend back?  Let’s look at the situation with Tom and Sheri.

Shari was busy one night and Tom went to a party alone.  It was stupid, but he started to make out with one of Shari’s friends there.  Shari, of course, heard about it and had a dramatic confrontation with Tom.

“I never want to see you again,” se said.  “I am so out of here.”

Tom’s devastated.  He knows he was wrong, but he wants to know how to win his ex girlfriend back.  He misses Shari.

The first thing Tom needs to do is sincerely apologize.  This is not just a quietly mumbled “I’m sorry” either.  He needs to realize what he did wrong, figure out why he did it, decide whether he will ever do it again, and most importantly, communicate all of this honestly to Shari.

At this point, Tom should stop.  The ball is now in Shari’s court.

Tom shouldn’t call Shari.  He shouldn’t email, text, or comment on her wall.  He shouldn’t send flowers or candy.

What he should do is let her make the next move.  She is 100 percent in control here.  If Tom goes out to score, he’s going to lose her.  If he wants to know how to win ex girlfriend back, he needs to be planning for the next step not focusing on the present.

At some point, Shari will initiate contact.  There are many pretexts for doing this.  For instance, she may be mad and want to exchange all personal property.  Or, she could be missing him and just want to talk.

At this point, Tom needs to make his move.  He needs to show her that he’s the one.

He should put the incident behind him.  Tom should only bring up what happened if she does first.

Otherwise, he should talk about the positive memories that they have had together.  He should bring up specific incidents that were special for the two of them.

For instance, he could say, “I was walking around downtown and I saw the restaurant we went to on our first date and I thought of you.”

If he keeps it casual, he can talk about missing her.  “I miss the way you laugh at my corny jokes,” is a good line.  Telling her that he can’t imagine life without her is a bad one.

If she’s receptive, and she probably will be (why else is she calling?) Tom should suggest a casual get together.  For instance, he should ask her to meet him for coffee or something similar.  A half hour mini-date might get things back on track for them.

If he plays it right, he will have found the right solution to the how to win your ex girlfriend back dilemma.

How to win love back is difficult because it goes against every instinct that we have.  For instance, when a woman walks away from a man, it is in his nature to chase her down and recapture her.

Men love the chase.  They love to be on the hunt.  But, when a woman has walked away, she needs space, not a chase.

As hard as it is for men to recognize this, it is sometimes the only way to win love back.

That means that when a woman leaves you, be very careful about what the next actions you take are because they could be crucial in whether you get her back or not.

For instance, don’t call, email, or text the woman.  Let her contact you first.

Women always need to talk.  She won’t be satisfied until she’s had a chance to bring closure to the relationship.  But, let her initiate this call.  By waiting for her to make the call, you have let her know that you are not desperate for her.  This gives you the upper hand.

Now, you may be wondering if this will show her that you don’t care.  But, the opposite is true.  How to win love back begins with a recognition that sometimes women really do need space to figure out what is going on in the relationship.

Sometimes women need to make a “grand gesture” to illustrate their independence.  This can take the form of walking out or saying “I never want to see you again.”

But, if she is in love with you, she doesn’t really mean this.  What she’s really saying is “let me have some time to process what just went on.”

If you have done something to hurt her, you need to be contrite when she calls you.  You need to show that you are ready to make a change and that you value both her and the relationship.  But you need to give her the space she needs to process the hurt.

However, sometimes women make these “grand gestures” simply to get attention.  If you’ve got a game player on your hands, you need to take control right now and let her know that you are not going to put up with her antics.  One way you do this is to not play the game.  And that means not to chase her every time she goes away.

There are many reasons that women walk away from you and tell you that they never want to see you again.  Sometimes they are hurt and sometimes they are just trying to be manipulative.  In either case, you don’t want to be the first one to call because that puts you in the position of being desperate.

Instead, let her call you.  That way, you have some control over how the call goes.  Be sympathetic to her needs, but don’t put up with any bull.  That’s how to win love back.

“Can I get my girlfriend back ever?” If that is what you are wondering it seems like you may be in a desperate situation. There is hope but it may be only a sliver. You have to believe that it won’t result in your or hers heart getting broken again. The truth is one of you screwed up. Who was it? Can the person who made the mistake that caused you to get broken up in the first place be trusted again? The answer to that question may not let you know the answer to “Can I get my girlfriend back?” but it will help you know if you should.

Is it a good idea for both of you to get back together? If you are fully convinced that it is then you might be able to. The problem is in convincing the ex girlfriend that you should. You need to write down all the reasons that it will be a good idea to get back together. It doesn’t need to be a letter or anything. It can be just a list of all the reasons why it would be a good thing to get your girlfriend back. You can even put at the top of it, “Can I get my girlfriend back or should I even try?”

On this list you are going to put down every reason that it would be good to get back together. Try brain storming if you have trouble coming up with good ideas. Write down everything that you can think of whether it’s silly or not. Sometimes the little things make all the difference in the world. After you have your list, go through and write down an objection to each one. Don’t be afraid to do this, it’s called being objective. The answer to “Can I get my girlfriend back?” may be yes if you are able to find all objections and overcome them.

Look at this all critically and try to convince yourself that it isn’t a good idea. If you can’t do that then it’s a matter of letting your ex girlfriend know the reasons why you should. What you have done with all of this is made yourself able to deal with any objections and concerns that she has of why it wouldn’t be a good thing. You may have very well found out the answer to “Can I get my girlfriend back?” by answering all the questions surrounding that one.

There is one objection that you might not be able to overcome and that is, “I just don’t want to.” If she just does not want to get back together, there might be no other reason for it. You can’t make her want you. You can’t convince her that she should. This is one of the things that you have to be prepared for. What you will be doing, though, is getting to that answer. If she does have a part of her that wants to be with you then the answer to “Can I get my girlfriend back?” is ‘yes’.